


30 Minutes With You

by masaringo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - High School, Consensual Underage Sex, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Time, Imported, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Sports, originally posted on asianfanfics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:01:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 80,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masaringo/pseuds/masaringo
Summary: "Never talk to me like that again.""What?""You heard me. Don't you dare to treat me like that. And by no means in front of my team.""I'll talk to you as I please. I don't owe you anything.""Are you an idiot? It's just respect to your superiors. Don't you understand or you just don't know about good manners?""Respect is earned, sir. I was just asking you something and you rejected it badly.""You didn't ask it nicely, ninja. Believe me, you don't want to have me as your enemy.""You don't want to have me as your enemy, believe me."Or how to fall in love in 30 minutes.
Relationships: Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Wu Yi Fan | Kris, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. This was our first work, posted in Asianfanfics back in January 2014. It's been abandoned since 2015, with no plans to pick it back up, but it's still nostalgic for us, so we wanted to archive it, just in case. If you do decide to read it, we hope you enjoy!
> 
> You can read the original at https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/647554

He knew how he looked to others. Tall. Lean. Muscular and... Strong. But that was not how he felt. He could feel their eyes on his skin, piercing through his soul, figuring him out. Ok, maybe he was taking this too personal. After all, he was the new kid, people were bound to look at him.

"Huang Zitao, am I right?" An older man was looking at him with warm eyes.

Tao instantly felt better. Yeah, this was his first time at a new school, in a new country, with a language he could barely speak, but he felt somewhat at home. The man was still waiting for an answer, so he nodded quickly. A broad smile appeared on the man's face.

"I am Mr. Kim, the school's Principal. I believe I have spoken with your mother."

Another nod. Maybe he could try to use his Korean. After all, he had studied years of it at school. It couldn't be that bad.

"Yes," he said slowly, trying to deliver one complete sentence correctly "She told me to look for you as soon as I came in, but I got lost".

It wasn't perfect, but it was a fair attempt. Mr. Kim's smile got broader, if that was even possible.

"Alright, please come into my office. We have a lot to discuss".

Ten minutes later, Tao was back in the hallway, even more confused than before.

God, that had been a weird conversation. He had been given a little map of the school and his schedule. He was already really late for his first class, so he slowly began to make his way there.

He had expected some kind of comment related to his talent for wushu, he knew he was fairly well known and that the school was one of the few in the country who had an official team, but... he had just arrived. How could they offer him the position of captain of the team without having even seen him at practice? Oh god, his team mates were going to hate him. That wasn't fair.

He was so deep in thought he failed to realize that he was standing in front of his new classroom. With a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

The next few minutes went by in a blur. Tao found himself sitting at the back of a classroom full of kids that were pretty obviously staring at him. He knew he had introduced himself, but as he couldn't quite catch that memory, he hoped at least he hadn't made a fool of himself.

Luckily, he had arrived to class later than he had thought, so less than two minutes later the bell rang, setting them free. 

"Hum. Hello," said the guy sitting next to him. He was little, and doll-like, "My name is Do Kyungsoo, nice to meet you."

Tao took a few seconds to realize he was talking to him. The boy seemed serene and unsure of weather to talk or not. Tao instantly liked him.

"Hi, nice to meet you too," he said, smiling the first time that day.

Kyungsoo seemed to feel this, and smiled in return. As they were about to leave the classroom, two guys approached. One of them clasped Kyungsoo on the shoulder, while smiling brightly and extending his hand to Tao.

"Hi. I'm Kai, and this here is Sehun."

Tao shook his hand firmly, while Sehun gave him a curt nod. Kai started rambling enthusiastically about the day, and life, and his friends, and how cool it was that there was a new guy in the classroom, and everything, of which Tao could understand less than half, until Kyungsoo reminded him that if they were too late to the cafeteria, they wouldn't be able to get a seat. That seemed to shut Kai up, as if he suddenly felt extremely hungry.

They made their way there, and Tao couldn't help to notice all the glances he was getting.

Apparently, he was not the only one, because just as they got their food and sat in the only free seats of the crowded cafeteria, Sehun, speaking for the first time with a strangely amused tone, commented "Wow. We knew we were handsome, but we hadn't received so many looks in years."

Kai roared with laughter, while Kyungsoo smiled.

"Don't worry about it. People just think it's weird for someone to start school a month after the course begun." 

They ate lunch in a comfortable silence, interrupted only by an occasional comment from Kai, who was too hungry to talk much but didn’t seem to be able to be quiet for too long. Once they had finished, Tao took is schedule and map out. That had been his last class of the day. He had arrived the classroom later than he had thought. As soon as Kai saw the map, he jumped from his seat.

"Hey, man, you can't honestly think we're going to let you go without showing you the school, can you?" 

"Yes, Tao, if you want we can give you a little tour. We are done for the day," Kyungsoo added.

Sehun nodded.

Finally, Tao decided to accept. After all, he really did need all the help he could get, and he enjoyed the group's company. It was barely 1.30, so he had plenty of time before his first wushu practice, at 3.30. 

They left the cafeteria, led by an overly enthusiastic Kai, who didn't seem to ever stop talking. Tao took the chance to really look at them. Kai walked like a dancer. That was the first thing he noticed. He had the confidence, the posture and the rhythm. His every movement was graceful. His dark hair almost covered his eyes, and it was obviously a reflex to fix it with his hand. He also had a glorious smile, that seemed to light up his whole face. His eyes were amused and soft.

Sehun, on the other hand, had an intense, intelligent gaze. He rarely smiled, but Tao realized that, as time went by, he got more relaxed around him and smiled more. His chocolate hair look perfectly arranged, and contrasted with his milk pale skin. He was the youngest of the group, but was also almost as tall as Tao, and he could tell he would only keep getting taller.

Kyungsoo's hair was a deep shade of red, short on the sides and longer on the top. It had a certain flow, which made it look soft. He had a shy, small smile, a genuine one, and a roundish, perfect face. His eyes were like onyx, piercing, inquiring. He was shorter than his friends, but that wasn't saying much, seeing as they were all unusually tall for their age.

The school was huge, and Tao found himself remembering his previous school, which was almost as big as this one, but looked and felt crowded and suffocating. He could get used to this much space. Kai kept pointing at classrooms and special facilities. They had already shown him the cafeteria, the library, the labs and the pool, and were now heading to what interested him the most: the gym. He was pretty sure he would only remember that location by the end of the tour.

"So, are you planning on entering any team?" Kai asked, interrupting his train of thoughts, "This school is known for having awesome teams and great players, you know." 

Tao recalled his talk with the Principal early in the morning. He felt his stomach clench with the prospect of leading a team who wouldn't like him.

"Yes," he said slowly, "Actually, I've been offered the position of captain of the wushu team."

"Is it you?" Kyungsoo shouted, startling both Kai and Sehun.

Tao nodded shyly.

"I'm part of the team. We've been waiting for you for weeks! The Principal informed us we would finally have a well prepared leader, but he never said who or when."

Tao felt suddenly dizzy. What was he saying?

"So you guys don't hate me?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Now it was Kyungsoo's turn to look confused.

"Hate you? Why would we?"

Tao felt blurry around the edges. The nervousness that had been following him all day disappeared completely, replaced by utter relief. He felt himself smile widely.

"Are you two on the team too?" he asked, suddenly remembering the other boys, who were looking at the conversation amusedly.

"Nah," Kai replied, waving his hand dismissively, "We got into the basketball team."

He sounded so proud and smug. Tao could sense something deeper hiding behind the innocence of the statement, but he couldn't wrap his head around it. With the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Kyungsoo's eye roll. He would have to ask him about that later. After all, they had finally arrived to the gym. It was huge, at least twice as big as the one his previous school had.

"I'll go get ready in the changing room. Are you coming?" Kyungsoo asked.

Tao nodded enthusiastically and waved goodbye to Kai and Sehun, who had lazily informed him that that was their only free afternoon and they were planning on sleeping for the rest of the day.

As it was his first day, Tao didn't have his school uniform, let alone his wushu one. He sat there patiently between rows of lockers. He had received his key earlier, so he left his stuff there and wondered around.

Everything at this school seemed unnecessary big. The changing room was no exception. Hundreds, even thousands of lockers. Dozens of perfectly clean showers. Kyungsoo chuckled and informed him that technically, the school was focused on sports, so they had the facilities to function with lots of people at both regional and national competitions.

Tao took his chance to ask him about what had happened earlier. Kyungsoo explained, sounding a bit hurt but without losing his smile, that that was just how everyone on the basketball team acted. It was really tough to get into the team, so its members were treated like royals by the rest of the school. They believed they were better than everybody, especially better than them. But Kai and Sehun, among a few other members, were actually really nice, but had that tough "basketball team member" cover. Tao had never heard so much stupid nonsense in such a short time. Come on, they acted like they were in a fucking drama. What was wrong with this people? Why couldn't they just do what they liked and move on with their lives?

"It's time. Are you ready to meet your new team mates?" Kyungsoo tried to speak lightly, to break the tension.

Tao nodded. Yeah, he had more important stuff to worry about.

The atmosphere inside the gym was funny enough to make him smile and feel warm inside. Two of the guys sat with their back to the wall, chatting and laughing. One of them kept hitting the other lightly. The other two were mock fighting, mixing wushu techniques with dance moves. They were in fact quite a show. The Principal had seriously underestimated them, Tao thought. He had actually expected a couple of lazy guys who could barely move and didn't know the sport's rules. Needless to say, he was glad he was wrong.

As soon as they approached, the guys sitting stood up, and the ones fighting stopped doing so, although they continues laughing and elbowing each other.

"Hey guys!" Kyungsoo started, "This is..."

"Huang Zitao, our new captain. Yeah, we know," one of the fighting guys interfered, "Hi! I'm Luhan. This one here is Minseok," he said, pointing to the other fighting guy and smiling brightly, "It's good to finally have you here."

"How the hell did you find out? I did so myself barely ten minutes ago," Kyungsoo asked, seeming confused.

"We have our contacts," the guy named Minseok replied with a playful smile.

"Meaning the Principal came in to tell us a couple of minutes ago," one of the guys at the back replied with a warm smile, "Hello. My name is Joonmyeon. Nice to meet you."

"And I'm Baekhyun. Hi!" the last guy said, waving quickly. He seemed a bit hyperactive, especially compared to his very calm friend.

They looked very close, despite their different personalities, and they obviously cared about each other. Excited and eager to practice, Tao skipped further introduction.

An hour later, their first practice together was over. They had gone over the basics, and although their level was pretty good, Tao could tell they would need lots of practice if they were to win anything.

"So. This time tomorrow, right?" Tao asked.

They all exchanged guilty looks.

"Actually," Minseok finally said, "we kind of... only practice once a week?"

"Not that we wouldn't do it more often," Baekhyun added immediately, "It's just the only day when the gym is available."

Tao felt his jaw clench. How could the Principal expect him to do anything if they could only practice when other teams didn't want to?

"Be here tomorrow. At 3.30. I'll deal with the Principal. From now on, we practice every day."

Small smiles appeared on the members' faces. Only Kyungsoo frown made Tao realize it wouldn't be that easy.

The following morning went by in relative calm. His classes were fine, but he had more trouble with his Korean than he had thought he would. The Principal had told him he would have a tutor, but he hadn't met him yet. He spent his few breaks with Kyungsoo, Kai and Sehun, who was now comfortable around him, but still didn´t talk much.

Lunch time came quickly, and they sat with the wushu team. They were greeted enthusiastically. Everyone was laughing and joking around, looking like the happiest table at the cafeteria. They were quite a special group. Funnily enough, the ones in their last year, Minseok and Luhan, were also the most immature. Minseok was relatively calm, but always got carried away when he was with his friend. His nut-brown hair framed his roundish face, making him look much younger, and his frankly adorable smile, although generally shy, gave him an air of peace.

Luhan, on the other side, was the noisiest of the table. The day before he had shown he was very much capable of concentrating when he wanted to, but now was not the case. His eyes shone, especially when he smiled, and he was constantly doing so. His laughter, loud and vibrant, was the most contagious one he had ever heard, and Tao found himself laughing at the most idiotic stuff just because he was. His hair was a mixture of gold and hazel, and seemed to shine with him.

Baekhyun's personality contrasted with his looks. He had perfect hair, a dark shade of brown, almost chocolate, and a delicate face. His personality, on the other side, was quite bizarre. He could act like a cute, innocent puppy one minute, and like a bossy, vain diva the other. Everyone was used to this constant change, but Tao still felt amused every time this happened.

Joonmyeon was the motherly presence of the group. Together with Kyungsoo, they seemed to keep everyone on check and dissolve every possible trivial argument they had. He looked young, his age, but had this aura of wisdom. From the top of his black hair to his sincere smile, he felt trustworthy.

Apparently, Luhan and Minseok were members of almost every other team at school, so they had had to make a few arrangements to their agendas to be free every afternoon at 3, but they said their main team was wushu, so that wasn't a problem. Tao was graceful for that.

They finished lunch, and Kai and Sehun excused themselves. After a few minutes, they decided that, although it was still pretty early, they could head to the locker room. 

Tao might have liked this new school; but what the hell was this for? He had to wear a uniform, like those you find in mangas, that make girls look pretty and boys look handsome. But he couldn't move. Everything felt stiff and he couldn't breathe properly. He had never been so relieved to wear his black wushu uniform. With it, he felt free, and safe, back at home.

He waited for everyone to get ready. While they were talking, Luhan asked him how was this new school, new country, new language thing going. Apparently, he was also Chinese, although he had been in Korea for so long he spoke perfectly. Tao had hoped he would be his tutor, but Luhan innocently crushed it when he said the Principal didn't allow him to be one, because he was afraid that with so many activities his grades would drop.

At 3.30 they started practice. Everything went great for a while, until they heard voices coming from the hall. Kyungsoo sighted, as if that was sadly expected. About ten guys, all almost as tall as Tao, approached them. Tao saw both Kai and Sehun at the back of the crowd, but they were talking and hadn't noticed them.

"So, what do we have here? Oh, it's the ninja club, isn't it?" one of the guys started. Some of his idiotic friends chuckled.

The basketball team. He should have known.

"Hey guys. What are you doing here?" Kai interfered, looking between Tao and Kyungsoo, who just shook his head resignedly.

"Practicing," decided Tao. He knew Kai wasn't able to help them much, so he spoke directly to the first guy, "And we would like to keep going, so if you would please leave..." 

The amusement left the guys face, replace by arrogance, indignation and anger. He took a step closer. At that precise moment, the far door of the gym opened. The guy looked at Tao up and down, smirked, and took a few steps back. Everyone went silent as two guys walked in, talking distractedly. They raised their eyes and finally noticed the commotion. They scanned the group, trying to figure out the problem. 

"Hey! Captain! Look at what we have here!" This guy was getting on Tao's nerves. 

The tallest one, who acted like the leader, approached. He looked directly into Tao's eyes. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh no, he's hot," was Kris' first thought after he spotted the black haired guy.

A low cough from Lay made him realize he was staring. Fuck, he didn't have the time or the energy to deal with this. None of this. That day would definitely be complicated. He broke his too-long-eye-contact with the guy to scan the small crowd behind him. He knew all of them, of course. Luhan and Minseok were his classmates, and he had talked to the others a couple of times. He would have even considered them friends, if it wasn't for the stupid basketball's team facade.

But he couldn't understand why they were at the gym. Sure, there had to be a simple explanation for this. Everyone at school knew the basketball team practiced almost every day at 4. It had been established long ago, and was respected religiously. No one was allowed to skip practice or to interrupt it. And this was clearly and interruption. And who were they? Oh, right. The ninjas. What was it? Wushu? Who the fuck practiced wushu in Korea? He sighted and dragged his hand over his face.

"So, is someone going to explain what's happening here," he started with his authoritarian voice, looking at the guy in front of him with narrow eyes. He returned the gesture.

"I believe you owe us an explanation," the guy snapped, "we were just practicing when they interrupted us."

Kris felt his blood begin to raise its temperature. How dared this... this brat talk to him like that? He took a step closer.

"Don't you know who am I? No one, and I repeat, no one talks to me like that."

He felt Lay's low chuckle besides him. Well, there was maybe one person who did. That was not the point.

Instead of feeling intimidated, the guy straightened his shoulders, raised his head and answered, loud and clear, "I don't give a fuck about who you are. You are interrupting my practice and disturbing my team mates. So get out of here."

Everyone went quiet for a moment, seemingly in shock. Suddenly, two identical "oooohhhhs" echoed the gym. Each team turned to its back to see a grinning Baekhyun and Chanyeol, who were now proudly and knowingly smiling at each other. A few guys snickered, somewhat breaking the tension. Kyungsoo slowly approached the black-haired guy and patted his arm.

"Tao," he said softly, in a conciliatory way, "Why don't we all talk about this? I'm sure we can work it out."

Kris recovered from his momentary shock and felt his blood boil.

"Yeah, I'm sure we can work it out," he said with a low voice.

He took a step closer to this Tao guy, expecting him to feel threatened by his closeness. Surprisingly, he did not. He stared back determinately. He was almost as tall as Kris himself, and oh god, he was so fucking close. He felt Lay's hand on his shoulder, gently but firmly pulling him back.

"Stop it, Kris. He is just an idiot, a kid. He isn't worth it," he whispered.

"Who the hell are you calling 'a kid', you idiot," Tao snapped back.

Once again, the gym felt silent for a few moments. Wow, that was unexpected. Kris was dumbstruck. Fuck, he had noticed the brat's Korean wasn't great, in fact it was barely understandable, but it hadn't even crossed his mind he could be Chinese too. It confirmed Lay's theory that they were slowly conquering the school. Tao took a deep breath.

"If you want to complain about this, go talk to the Principal and stop wasting my time."

Kris gripped the basketball he was holding tighter. Why was this affecting him so much?

"I will," he turned to look at his teammates, throwing them the ball, "Start practicing. You've already wasted too much time."

Lay followed him as he stormed out of the gym.

"Hey Wu, slow down, my legs are not a mile long as yours."

He caught up with him soon enough, and stared at him intently.

"What happened to the 'I'm the cool basketball team captain' facade? You don't usually forget it." 

Kris ignored his best friend as he ran through the empty corridors to the Principal's. When he arrived, he stopped on his tracks and took a deep breath before knocking the door firmly.

"I'll wait here," Lay whispered when he got to his side. Kris nodded gratefully.

As soon as the Principal saw him, he shouted, "Yifan! Just the person who I wanted to see! Please, come in."

Kris went in, and then stood awkwardly by the door. Despite having known the Principal for quite a long time, sometimes he was still taken aback by his bluntness and passive-aggression.

"Mr. Kim, I wanted to talk to you about the... wushu team. And it's new leader."

"You've met Zitao? Wonderful! That saves so much time. I was about to ask you to be his tutor. I don't know if you know yet, but he has just arrived from China, and barely speaks Korean. So, he'll need to improve his level if he wants to keep his grades decent. Basically, he needs someone to help him with his homework, the extra practice given by the teachers, and generally helping him adjust to our school. As you are both Chinese, and your average is impressive, I thought you could help him."

Kris seriously hoped he had misheard him. There were lots of other Chinese guys at school. Without going far, Lay and even Luhan from Tao's team were Chinese. The Principal sensed this and chuckled.

"Tutoring could be really helpful if you seriously want to apply for that scholarship you talked to me about. Just think about it."

Kris felt his anger resurge. The Principal knew he couldn't afford to refuse this opportunity, and was using it against him. He nodded, and the Principal smiled brightly.

"Great. You'll have to talk to him yourself. And remember, if he falls back at his classes or his average falls, you'll be to blame. Bye"

Kris closed the door behind him feeling a strange mixture of anger, confusion and amusement. As weird as it might seem, those were generally his feelings after talking with that man. He was puzzling. Lay was waiting for him outside, reclined against the wall.

"That was quick. What did he say?"

Kris opened and closed his mouth comically, without making a sound a couple of times. After that, he accepted he was too messed up to speak and begun walking towards the gym. He hadn't even been able to tell the Principal about the practice interruption. It was almost 4.30, meaning that he had already lost half of the practice. And he still had to talk to the ninja before they left if he didn't want to end up looking for him the following morning. Lay followed quietly, sensing that he needed the space. They hadn't been friends for so long for nothing. Despite the fact that one of Lay's favorite activities was to wind Kris up, he knew how to read him very well, and when they needed to be serious. He was also as loyal as they could get, and Kris honestly couldn't ask for a better best friend. Now he was being sentimental. Great. With a sight, he stopped in the middle of the corridor. Lay approached.

"Okay now. So, what's the problem?" he asked once they were side to side.

"I'm the ninja's tutor," Kris' voice was extremely low, barely a mumble, and he was avoiding eye contact.

A bright smile appeared on Lay's face.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't quite get it," he asked teasingly. 

Kris pushed him lightly, as Lay bursted out laughing. Kris honestly didn't catch the joke, but Lay was laughing so hard that he could barely breathe. 

"Don't you get it? He disrespected me, treated me like nothing. Me. What an idiot," Kris huffed.

"But... you are nothing. Stop being so full of yourself, Kris," his friend elbowed him with a half warm, half sarcastic smile.

Lay was still laughing by the time they reached the gym. There, he tried to recompose himself. After all, they had a "reputation" to maintain, as he jokingly reminded Kris. The fact was that neither of them gave a fuck about things such as reputation or social status. Actually, most of the time it meant they weren't allowed to spend time with some of their friends just because they happened to be in the wushu team. It was just something expected from them, that they had learnt to accept, with all the pros and the cons. When they had first entered the basketball team, they weren't too glad to be suddenly noticed, although Kris had to admit he liked being on the spotlight now. He was the school's most important team's captain, and he was proud of it. And he wouldn't allow anybody, specially not a kid, to disrespect him. 

When they entered the gym, only the basketball team was there. There were still fifteen minutes of practice, so while Lay practiced a little, Kris walked resolutely and trying not to think about it too much to the locker room. The whole wushu team shared an aisle of lockers, and were all changing back into their clothes, but they stopped as soon as they saw Kris. Well, that was awkward. He walked directly towards Tao, who apparently was in the middle of putting on his shirt. Oh god, his abs! Really impressive. Right, he wasn't supposed to be watching them. "Eyes on his eyes," Kris told himself. That was easier said than done. What the hell was wrong with him that day? He thought like a teenage girl. He stared at Tao and said with a serious tone:

"We need to talk."

Tao nodded and held his gaze. They moved from where the rest of the team was changing, and stood a couple of locker rows away. The guy was brave, Kris had to admit that. There weren't many guys at school that, knowing who he was, would still challenge him. Kris wouldn't even admit it to himself, but he liked that. Well, it kind of exasperated him, but it was also thrilling and challenging. And well, from a completely objective point of view, he was hot. And a weird kind of cute. His black as ink hair matched his slightly dark, somehow greenish skin. Around his gorgeous black eyes, two darker circles made him look a bit like a... panda. Yeah. But Kris didn't seem to be able to take his eyes away from his body. He was well toned, but lean. His arms were frankly impressive, and he had long, muscular legs. He wouldn't even start on his abs. A loud cough took him out of his thoughts. 

"Ahem. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Fuck. How long had he been staring? They were close, closer that when they started. He didn't even remember taking a step forward. This was so fucking embarrassing. He stepped back quickly and looked back to Tao, still shirtless and blushing lightly, but with a determined look on his eyes. 

"Let's get over this. What did you want to tell me?" he said.

"Yeah, right," the last thing Kris wanted to do was to keep embarrassing himself in front of the guy, "So, the Principal announced me I'm your new tutor."

Tao opened and closed his mouth soundlessly a couple of times before blurting "You've got to be kidding me."

"There is no point in complaining. Believe me, I've tried. We are stuck together," Kris interrupted.

Tao's face fell a little, and Kris felt something inside himself clench. They hadn't started well, and he didn't want to help Tao as much as Tao didn't want his help, but he wasn't used to rejection. At least, not from people at school. He made himself harden his look.

"We just need to set up our meet up. Starting on Saturday, one hour, every day. And that's it." 

"Me don't actually need a tutor, you know," he said quickly, wincing visible after realizing his mistake. His cheeks blushed slightly and his shoulders slumped. Goodness, he was fucking adorable. Kris felt a smile creep into his face.

"You were saying?" 

Tao practically murdered him with his look, and then nodded. He actually didn't talk much, but Kris suspected that wouldn't last long. 

"What about at 3, right before our practice?" he suggested.

Tao shook his head quickly, "Unless you think half an hour will be enough, our practice starts at 3.30," his voice sounded tight, as if expecting Kris to realize something.

"What do you mean you have practice? The wushu team only practices once a week, on Wednesdays. I'm still not sure why you were here today, but that's it," he felt idiotic, as if he was missing the obvious.

The Panda looked uneasy, and for the first time in their conversation, he broke eye contact, "Actually, now we practice every day. At 3.30. We'll have to share the field,"

Kris stood there processing this new information. Then, a loud thump made him look to his side. Minseok was trying to stand up as quickly as possible, surrounded by a guilty looking wushu team. They had been spying. Great. From the corner of his eye, he caught the sight of Tao smiling. A genuine, wide and amused smile. It was the first time he did so, and it made him look completely different. Younger. Softer. Happier. It made Kris forget he was supposed to be angry for the team's intrusion. But then, his own team also came in, revealing their hiding place too, and he remembered what Tao had just said.

"Wait, what!?"


	3. Chapter 3

Tao dragged himself along the empty corridors. It was way too early for this. Well, actually, it was 2 in the evening. 2.07, more precisely, and he was already late for his studying appointment with Kris. The guy would kill him. But it wasn't as if he wanted to be there either. A usual Saturday, he would barely be having lunch. But here he was, with his stomach still full and starting to feel sleepy, looking for the damn library. Seriously, he should have paid more attention to Kai's rambles his first day of school.

Actually, the day hadn't started so awfully. Yes, it was quite annoying having to go to school even on Saturday, but he would still go to practice, so arriving an hour earlier wasn't really that difficult. And maybe, just maybe, he had misjudged Kris the day before. At least he hoped so. The guy was too fond of himself, and seemed to have his life easily. Sure, he obviously had the looks, even Tao, who wasn't particularly aware of that sort of stuff, could see it. His blond hair was fashionable, and he had an attractive face, with clear skin and pretty eyes. He guessed his body was fine too, seeing as he practiced a lot of basketball and had well defined muscles. But that didn't give him any right whatsoever.

When he arrived at school, the relaxed environment washed over him. Most of the sports clubs continued their activities even on Saturdays, and it made Tao feel excited. He had always felt at ease while playing sports. He was good at them, and it was a way of clearing his mind when things weren't great at home. Wushu was his passion, and he was even willing to go to that school, despite the difficulty of the classes, because it was one of the few in the country who recognized it as a sports team. Luckily, he hadn't regretted his decision. Yet.

All that optimism vanished as soon as he realized he didn't have a clue of where the library was. Sure, he remembered Kai pointing it to him, but how to get there was another thing. He climbed endless sets of stairs, ran through identical corridors, opened several wrong doors, until he found the library. He started running through the (oh, surprise) enormous and confusing library. Honestly, who the hell needed so many books? Finally, he located Kris by the end of the room, sitting in an almost hidden table, well bathed by the sun. 

"Late. Ten minutes late. What makes you believe you can have the luxury of wasting my time?" Kris started with a well-controlled, arrogant voice, which made him sound just a bit threatening.

"Sorry, I got lost," was Tao's mumbled apology. It made him feel stupid as soon as he said it. He was ten minutes late, big deal. No need for the guy to be such an idiot. Yeah, he hadn't been wrong at all about him. He was just as egocentric as he had thought. The day before, practice had been horrible, filled with rivalry and unnecessary tension, making both teams uncomfortable. The rest of the wushu team seemed to like Kris, although none of them wanted to get into why they did.

"Look, Kris is kind of complicated. You can't pin him into a stereotype. But he is nice, and trustworthy. Just wait till you know him better," Luhan had advised Tao when he voiced his concerns about him the evening before.

He tried to keep that in mind as he sat next to Kris, who actually moved further away from him. What a jerk. The guy considered him with cold eyes and started the class. Now, if Tao hadn't hated being seen crying, he would have done so barely ten minutes into the session. Kris stood up in front of him, his hands on the table, shouting at him for who knows what. He got it, ok? He knew he wasn't particularly brilliant, but he just couldn't seem to be able to get it. Tao's hands were fisted, pressed hard against the wooden table. His eyes stung and he felt an unbearable pressure on his throat. Why did it have to be that way? Why couldn't he have a nice, sympathetic tutor who would be nice to him? Kris kept shouting, pointing at something in the book in front of him. 

"Would you just shut up for a second?" Tao finally exploded, pouring all his anger and frustration into it, "If you hate being my tutor so much, just leave, I'm sure I'll get it done by myself."

A smug smile appeared on Kris face as he calmly sat down across the table, "Believe me, if I could leave, I would. But not everything is about you, ninja."

Tao felt exhausted. Maybe his emotions had gotten out of control minutes earlier, but he felt he couldn't deal with Kris' emotional roller-coaster anymore. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. What bothered him the most was the fact that he couldn't just brush the insults and the hard words off, he kept on feeling bad about them, but his tutor could easily leave his anger behind and go back being his smug confident self. 

"Why are you doing this if you hate me so much?" Tao begun, feeling drained, "I'm sure the Principal would get it if you told him you weren't able to deal with me anymore."

Something different appeared on Kris' eyes. Tao couldn't tell exactly what, but something had changed. He leaned over the table, posture tense. 

"Not that it's of your business, but I am applying for a scholarship, and nothing is enough to make sure I get it," he broke eye contact, staring out of the window determinately, "I want to leave this place as soon as possible." 

Tao was pretty sure that statement wasn't meant for him to hear. A few silent moments passed before he heard Kris draw a breath.

"If you are losing my time, at least do something productive," he restarted the lesson as if nothing had happened, but the atmosphere wasn't the same.

Half an hour later, he stood in the locker room, preparing for his wushu practice. His bad mood was beginning to fade, as it always did when he was practicing, but deep inside him, he could still feel the weariness and the tension of the class. Sure, despite a couple of quarrels it had ended pretty good, taking everything into account, but just thinking about doing it all over again made Tao feel dizzy. Luckily the following day was Sunday, his only free day. His teammates exchanged concerned looks after seeing him. Wow, he must have looked worse than he though. Tao hated putting them in this position. They were worried about him, but they were also Kris' friends, so he tried to shake off the bad feelings and act normally. What he couldn't avoid, no matter how much he had tried, was the hateful look he shot Kris when the former appeared at the gym. The worst thing was that the guy had the guts to look smug and relaxed, unaffected. Tao tried as hard as possible to ignore him the rest of their shared court time. 

After practice, he decided to walk home. Actually, it wasn't as if he had a choice, but he liked walking, despite his house not being so close to school. One of his favorite things about moving to Korea had been his new neighborhood. It was located just outside a small city, where the school was, and was calm and open. On his way home was a big park, with beautiful flowers, trees and benches, like those you would expect to find in a movie. He decided to sit at the shadow of a huge tree for a while, and think. His mom wouldn't be home yet, anyway. Those had been a couple of intense days. He was happy about how things had turned out. Not only had he made it to the wushu team, but he was now the captain. He had his teammates and friends, and honestly the classes were better than expected. His tutoring hadn't gone so well, but he wanted to convince himself it was only a matter of time. Tao relaxed against the bench and thought back to a few months ago, when everything in his life seemed to be falling apart. The constant fighting of his parents had reached unbearable levels, his dad practically lived elsewhere and he could hear his mother's muttered sobs at night. Tao loved her so much it broke his heart seeing her like that, and he spent whole nights crying himself to sleep. But everything was finally right again. His parents had divorced, and now were on better terms. His mom, who worked as a businesswoman had gotten a better job, so they had transferred. Despite Tao's initial resentment, he was now convinced it had been for the best. He had never had many friends. When he was young, most of the kids his age were scared of him, as he was tall and had a hard face, and didn't bother to get to know him. Now it was the first time in years he had people who, despite having only known them for a couple of days, he could trust. 

Tao closed his eyes and let the warmth and the brightness of the day soak him, as he felt a smile grow in his face. He didn't know how much time had passed, but when he opened his eyes, the sun was about to set. He was pretty sure he hadn't fallen asleep; time just had gone by quickly. He decided to begin making his way home. Luckily, he would arrive before his mom did. She was still kind of paranoid about him being alone every day, even on Saturdays, despite Tao's reassurances that he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. 

Slowly, he got used to his new life. Every day, he went from school to classes with Kris, who seemed to be getting used to his "annoying presence", and they usually ended up bickering. They just didn't seem to be able to be together peacefully, although Tao had started to enjoy fighting with him, not that he would ever confess it. One evening, they were surprised to find their usual hidden table taken; the whole library seemed to be filled with panicky students worrying about their exams. Kris strode towards one of the central tables, filled with students, and they all moved aside to make room for him. That wasn't the case with Tao's approach. He had to squeeze himself between students until Kris just glanced at them and they moved aside. Tao chuckled. Sometimes, the hierarchical differences at this school where annoying, but most of the time, he couldn't help to be amused by them. What he had learnt on his couple of weeks at school was that it functioned like those he only thought were found in movies. The basketball team was like royalty. Yeah, Kyungsoo had told him about it, but he had just thought he had been exaggerating. Come on, who could honestly thing like that? Apparently, everyone. When the team walked by, crows parted, girls swooned and guys felt envy. Or at least that's what Tao had been told. Most of the team members, with a few exceptions, were nice guys and, despite being quite smug, and enjoying it, they didn't seem to give popularity too much thought. Both Kai and Sehun were in that group, together with Chanyeol, an extremely happy guy who had instantly got along with the group, Chen, whose smile and charm had earned him more than a couple of fans, and Lay, Kris' best friend. Kris was a completely different matter. Tao was completely sure deep inside he was a nice guy, and he couldn't seem to care less about popularity, but as the captain of the team he still got everything he wanted. He was the prince of the school. This last thought brought Tao back to reality. A small crowd had formed around them, mostly formed by screeching girls, who got louder every time Kris opened his mouth. This was getting on both of their nerves. Barely twenty shouts-filled minutes later, Kris called the lesson off, and Tao had never been more relieved on his life. He honestly preferred to fail his class than to stand those girls another minute. He went straight to the gym, despite still having half an hour before practice, just because there he felt in peace. The stillness of the place always made him feel better, but he still had all the noise those girls had made inside his head. He closed his eyes and laid back in his seat.

"Hey, Tao. Are you okay?" Minseok's soft voice made him open his eyes.

Woah, these days he could sleep anywhere. He stretched his sore limbs and smiled, feeling better than before.

"Yeah. I just needed somewhere to rest. Just silence," he paused for a second, enjoying it. He really liked Minseok. They were both quiet, and felt comfort in silence, so they never felt the need to fill their conversations with unnecessary noise.

In that moment, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo entered the gym. It was almost time for practice, but neither of them were on a hurry. 

"Is everything ok? Why are we all here?" Kyungsoo asked confusedly, looking around the bleachers they were sitting in. Tao was definitely better, but he still felt like talking to someone about what had happened. 

"Come on, spill it out," Baekhyun bumped Tao's shoulder lightly.

"We were at the library, with Kris, and this... girls appeared, shouting and squealing at everything," he stopped when he spotted his teammate's smile.

"I see you've met the fan club," Tao's eyes widened, and Minseok chuckled, "Just kidding. But they could be. They tend to follow Kris a lot. It was worst at the begging, they let him breath now. Or he just got used to it, not sure. But yeah, they can be hard to deal with sometimes. Try not to get on their wrong side."

They all smiled widely. Tao drew a breath trying to make sense to everything he had just said. God, people at this school kept getting freakier. He forced himself to take it lightly and smile.

"Well, at least Kris won't have any problem getting a girlfriend," he joked.

Kyungsoo's smile was still there, but now he was serious, and honest. Baekhyun and Minseok exchanged mischievous looks.

"What?" Tao had learnt that they all did that sort of stuff a lot. You know, the sneaky glances and secretive looks. He just had to ask.

"I'm... pretty sure he is not really interested in having a girlfriend," was Baekhyun's playful and nonchalant answer. 

Tao rolled his eyes, not sure what he meant, "What are you talking about?"

"Women, clearly," whispered Baekhyun, and he and Minseok started to crack up, but a severe look from Kyungsoo shut them up.

What did he mean? Tao considered asking again, but decided to let it be. It sure couldn't be that important. Down at the field, the doors busted open and the rest of the team came in, laughing and chatting as usual.

"Hey, we didn't tell you anything, ok? It's a secret, not something he wants people knowing," Minseok whispered slowly and continued laughing, leaving the bleachers with an unable-to-breath-because-laughing-so-hard Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, who smiled tightly.

Tao nodded, feeling he had missed half the conversation. Secret? What the hell was he talking about?


	4. Chapter 4

"For the thousandth time, it wouldn't be so difficult if you just fucking concentrated for more than two seconds!"

"I'm concentrating, you idiot! It's just hard, you know?"

"Who do you think you are calling an idiot, ninja? Show some respect"

Ok, this conversation was getting old. Kris finally sat down. They had been in the library for almost a full hour and hadn't made any progress, and honestly, he was getting tired. Well, not really. The truth was that Kris found the whole situation hilarious. He had taken a liking into bothering Tao, just for the sake of it. He wasn't sure why, but he liked spending his afternoons tutoring him. It was also extremely annoying, since Tao was always teasing him, standing up against him and pointing out his mistakes. What the hell? Not only was Kris older, but he was also fucking captain of the basketball team. Obviously he should be respected. But Tao didn't think so, and treated him like an equal, demanding the same treatment. At the beginning, it had made Kris furious, but now he was more intrigued than annoyed. And Tao looked kind of cute when he was mad. His jaw set firmly and his eyes glaring daggers. Oh god, what was he thinking about. He cleared his throat and looked around. Their well hidden table was now quiet, bathed by the sun, making him sleepy. Despite the fact that Kris liked seeing Tao get frustrated over school work, he still had to help him finish it, or else he would fail and be assigned a new tutor. Not that Kris cared. Not at all. 

Tao left to his practice a couple of minutes later, giving Kris some alone time to think. Practices had slowly fallen back into normal. They tried to talk about changing the schedules, but it had been impossible, so they had settled into sharing the space and ignoring each other. And Kris tried, he really had. He avoided looking to the other side of the field completely. 

Kris saw the ball fly, quickly, determinately, dangerously towards Tao's face.

Ten minutes into practice, he had decided to change their usual schedule. Instead of practicing first and then playing a little match, they would do the other way round. He didn't care that the other team was there. What could possibly go wrong? They started playing. Kris noticed what was about to happen before anyone else did. Irrational panic flooded his senses. His heart hammered in his chest, he had a bitter taste in his mouth and his muscles didn't answer him. He heard Tao's painful scream, everyone gasped. That was what he needed to be taken out of his trance. He ran as fast as he could towards the other side of the field, along with some of his teammates. He tried to put up his expected uninterested mask, but once he saw Tao lying on the floor, he was pretty sure he had failed miserably. As he approached, Tao finally got up, painfully clutching his face. Kris felt as if everything shifted again, this time back to normal. Why did he care so much about the Panda? His friends were already taking care of him, so he turned around and faced his team. With the steadiest voice he could possibly manage, he demanded: 

"Who did it?"

A hand was raised among the team members. Kris sighted. He couldn't say he didn't expect it.

"Apologize," was his brief command. The guy took a step closer and made a reverence, looking sincerely sorry and ashamed of his clumsiness. Luckily, Kris wouldn't have to scold him later.

Tao nodded, accepting the mistake, and both teams began heading back to their respective courts. Kris, now feeling and idiot for his interior overreaction, turned around and begun walking, eager to put the incident behind.

"This wouldn't have happened if they hadn't been playing," Tao's voice was tight, but loud and clear, and Kris felt himself stiffen. One part of his brain told him that the Panda had just been hurt, and that he was right, honestly, so he should just let it go. But as usual, the stupid part of his brain was faster to react.

"What?" he shouted through gritted teeth, turning around and stalking towards the wushu team. He didn't fail to see his friends resigned looks.

"You heard me. If you hadn't played while we were here, we wouldn't have had the incident. You always practice first and then play. Keep it that way!" 

"Who the hell do you think you are to tell me how should I give my class? I can do whatever the fuck I want." The ninja looked furious, his jaw was set and he had his hands pressed firmly against his tights. He had nice tights, Kris thought. Then he mentally slapped himself for being an idiot. Horrible timing. Tension had been building up, and just when it was about to explode, something caught Kris' eyes and made him go limp. Tao was bleeding. He hadn't noticed because his hand was hiding his face just a second ago, but now it was showing, a thin line coming out of his nose. The circles around his eyes looked even darker than usual. Having played basketball for years, Kris had his fair knowledge of broken noses. At least to know one when he saw it. It made something inside him stir. He was surprised, yeah, but there was something else. He never wanted to see Tao bleed again. Ever. The imperious need to keep him safe hit him like a truck. Noticing his stare, Tao brought his hand to his face. Kris's eyes were still fixed on his face, which changed from confusion to slight alarm to annoyance in a matter of seconds, but he heard Joonmyeon and Luhan, the ones closer to Tao, gasp at the sight of blood. They started fumbling, quite comically, around a completely calmed Tao. 

"Guys, it's fine. I've broken my nose before, it's not a big deal. It doesn't even hurt that much." Kris had to admit he was impressed. Tao was handling this as a true leader, trying to calm down his team members instead of freaking out because of his accident. Kris would find it hard to do that himself. The team called the practice off and decided to take Tao to the school infirmary. 

"This is not over, Wu. Don't you dare ever playing while we are here again. You idiot," he snarled the ending in Chinese, towards a still frozen Kris. He felt his heart pound on his chest, not necessarily from resentment, as it should be, but with sheer amazement that there could exist someone like Tao. He regained his senses just when the wushu team was about to leave the gym. Without caring about his own practice, much less about Lay's mocking comments, he dashed towards the team, grabbing Tao's arm and yanking him forward, with a quick "I'll take him to the infirmary," to the rest of the team. 

"But, Kris..." Joonmyeon attempted to stop him. He didn't have time for this.

"I said I'd take him, Joonmyeon," he looked at him until he nodded shortly and turned around, along with the startled group. 

"Stop playing and start practicing," he ordered his team, meeting Lay's amused squint across the gym.

He darted, practically dragging Tao along the corridors. For the first time since they had met each other, Tao was speechless, and Kris had to admit he was quite pleased of himself for accomplishing this. He had loosened up his grip on his arm, and now his hand was just lingering there, unnecessarily guiding Tao. After arriving at the infirmary, the doctor made Tao sit on the examination table with his back against the wall. Kris stood by the door, watching as the doctor cleaned the blood, gave him a couple of painkillers and some ice and told him to place it on his nose for a couple of minutes. He confirmed that it was indeed broken, but it was not serious and would only take a bandage to fix it. Then his phone rang, and he excused himself, leaving them alone. Tao's eyes were closed, and he was resting his head on the wall. Kris couldn't help but to stare at the long line of his neck, and his sharp jaw. He looked exhausted. Once again, the need to protect him assaulted him, so he just sighted and grunted with feigned roughness:

"Never talk to me like that again."

"What?" Tao opened his eyes slowly, lifting his head slightly.

Between them, they always spoke in Chinese, even when they weren't supposed to do so, as Tao had to perfect his Korean. It was easier for both of them, and Kris enjoyed it. He liked hearing Tao's confidence, the one he lacked when he second guessed himself speaking a foreign language. Not that he would ever tell anyone. Around their friends, they spoke in Korean, it would be impolite to do otherwise. 

"You heard me," he hardened his tone, despite having lost every bit of anger he had left, "Don't you dare to treat me like that. And by no means in front of my team," he had raised his voice, in spite of himself.

"I'll talk to you as I please. I don't owe you anything," Tao settled back and closed his eyes once again. 

"Are you an idiot?" Kris realized he was straight out shouting, but he was starting to get annoyed, "It's just respect to your superiors. Don't you understand or you just don't know about good manners?"

"Respect is earned, sir," was Tao's lazy reply, "I was just asking you something and you rejected it badly."

"You didn't ask it nicely, ninja," Kris felt a small smile tug at his lips.

Tao let out a shaky breath and pressed the ice pack harder against his nose. The pain killers hadn't worked yet, and he was probably in quite a lot of pain. He looked so vulnerable it made Kris' chest hurt. 

"Believe me, you don't want to have me as your enemy," he wasn't angry, just bitter.

"You don't want to have me as your enemy, believe me," Tao's sarcasm lost some of its effect because of his weariness, and Kris felt a jerk.

Just then the doctor came back, smiling apologetically and excusing himself from taking so long. Kris stormed out of the infirmary, before he had the chance to do something stupid. 

The following day was weirdly depressing. Everybody was talking about the accident, even those who generally ignored the wushu team. Everything even remotely related to the basketball team was commented. Thanks god the practice was private, or else they would have constant public. At first it was kind of exciting, having everyone focused on you, but after a while it got tiresome. And, in moments like this, Kris wished they would just shut up and live their own lives. Theirs weren't even that interesting.

That morning, he had nonchalantly asked Luhan about Tao's nose, and the boy had just sighted and told him to wait till he saw him, which wasn't reassuring at all. He felt extremely guilty about what had happened to him. He hadn't thrown the ball himself, but again, they shouldn't have been playing, and he knew it.

At lunch time, the whole team sat together, as usual, and they were soon surrounded by people, mostly girls. Honestly, couldn't they mind their own business? Kris had planned to approach Tao during that break, but with all those eyes on him he didn't feel like it. He wasn't sure why, but he liked to keep his conversations with Tao private, in the solitude of the library or at the gym. Given the fact that they rarely talked about anything personal, it was quite stupid. 

As soon as Tao approached their table at the library, he understood what Luhan had meant. He looked worst that he had the day before. A bandage covered his nose, but the skin surrounding it was a purplish color. At least it didn't look that swollen, but he sounded as if he couldn't breathe properly, and was in pain despite all the painkillers he had taken. Kris felt sick. He couldn't stand seeing him like that and knowing it was partially his fault. That lesson was quite good, both of them were too exhausted to fight, so it went by quietly.

"Hey, about yesterday... I'm sorry for... You know," Kris mumbled as they were about to part, blushing and hoping with all his heart that the Panda had missed it. From the shocked looked he got, his prayers hadn't been heard. Tao nodded, his mouth slightly opened, and then he smiled. Kris felt as if he had been slapped. He turned around quickly, feeling the warmth at the pit of his stomach. 

A few days later, Tao informed him that they wouldn't have classes together that day, as some kind of wushu exhibition would take place later. Luckily, he was once again able to practice with his team. He had had to sit and watch the practice for almost a week. As it was Wednesday, there wasn't basketball practice either, so Kris decided, not without hating himself for it, to go and watch it. The gym was somewhat full, not only by people from the school, but also by other teams, some of which had traveled a long way for the exhibition, Kris found out. He spotted his friends between the crowd. Kai, Sehun, Chanyeol, Chen, and even Lay were there supporting their friends, but he decided against sitting with them. Almost hidden, surrounded by unknown people, he felt safer. Soon the event started. Team after team, they all showed their abilities, and Kris had to admit it was kind of cool, but he wasn't really paying attention. Tao was by the side of the court, along with the rest of the team, his friends. They were watching, laughing and clapping. It wasn't a competition, they were all enjoying themselves. He had never seen Tao smile that much. He looked truly happy, his whole face lit up. Kris found himself smiling as well, without apparent reason. Then it was their turn. He hadn't actually seen them practice, as he avoided looking towards their side of the field as much as possible, and in all truth, they were way better than what he had expected. Finally, Tao walked to the center of the court. He was carrying a long stick, almost as tall as him, which the announcer called "gun shu". Tao started to move. Well, saying move was a huge understatement. He was flying, dancing and fighting, all at the same time. He looked like an angel in his black uniform, his muscles in perfect synchrony, his whole body moving from the floor to the sky in a matter of seconds, shining with small beads of sweat, that ran across his face. His long limbs tensed as he did a complicated-looking turn, wielding the gun shu, before landing gracefully and throwing himself into another set of kicks and turns, his face was screwed up in great concentration. His movements were strong, powerful and graceful, just like him. He was passionate about wushu, and his every movement showed so. All the hard work, all the training, everything could be seen. He looked glorious, powerful and gorgeous. His body was made for this, and Kris's eyes were made for looking at it. He couldn't take them away from him. And then it all made sense. All the teasing, the guilt, the fondness, the warmth. All those feelings. They could only mean one thing. How had he been so blind? He had never felt like that before, not with such intensity, but he knew what they meant. Around him, the crowd cheered, and Tao bowed, smiling, and left the court. Kris sat there, frozen. He was so screwed. He was in love with Tao.


	5. Chapter 5

He was spending way too much time at the library for someone not that interested in books. Tao sighted and looked outside the window dreamily. The day was beautiful, sun shining, and birds chirping, all those lovely things one was supposed to enjoy on holidays. Like that day. It was Labor Day, and truth be told, he was tired. He had been sitting with Kai, Sehun and Kyungsoo the whole evening, watching them do a group project for some class he still didn't understand. 

"So, I guess you spend a lot of time here lately," Kai started in a conversational way. The guy could hardly stand one minute without talking. The silence must be driving him crazy. The other boys dropped their pens and leaned back in their seats. Apparently, it had been enough work for a day. 

"Yeah, I do. Not my decision, though," Tao answered gesturing to the general direction where the imaginary Kris was, "I honestly still don't get the guy," he sounded upset, kind of desperate, but he just didn't know what to do anymore. They didn't seem to be able to have a single conversation without shouting. The biggest problem was, he actually didn't think he was so terrible. Sure, he was an egocentric idiot, didn't have any patience and liked bothering Tao, but... Forget that, the guy was a jerk. Just thinking about him made Tao roll his eyes. Kai, sensing his exasperation, burst out laughing,

"You must be the only person in this school to make that expression while thinking about Kris."

Tao frowned, starting to get annoyed, "Then I must be the only sane person at this school," he was joking. Kind of. Actually, no, he was being dead serious. 

Kai kept on laughing. Seriously, what was even that funny? Kyungsoo, on the other side, looked worried.

"Is he really treating you that bad?"

He didn't feel like answering, so he just went back to staring out of the window. It looked like he was quite a show, as Kai didn't seem to be able to stop laughing about his expressions. 

"Don't be so hard on him. He is just not used to people not treating him like a prince." They were close friends now, but sometimes Tao still startled when Sehun opened his mouth. 

"Yeah, that's right," Kai finally got himself together, "Everyone is nice with him and treats him respectfully. Most girls would kill for being where you are, having the chance to see Kris every day," he snickered. Well, not completely together. Once again, Tao couldn't help but rolling his eyes.

"Seriously, Tao," now it was Kyungsoo's turn, "Don't misjudge him. Kris is the kind of person you have to get to know well to realize they aren't what they seem."

"Yes," Kai and Sehun nodded vigorously. 

"Kris isn't the captain just because, he is top of the school and counselor of the basketball team. Once you really get to know him he is one of the most loyal guys in the world. Is just that you started with the wrong foot."

Tao sat there quietly. He knew what others thought about Kris, this wasn't the first time he had had this conversation with his friends, but he just couldn't believe their points of view were so different.

"Maybe you are right. It is possible that I have misjudged him. If you all like him so much there must be a reason. But he is also misjudging me."

"Don't let yourself be fooled by Kris' cover. He can be a helpless puppy when he doesn't know how to react to something. He just defends himself roughly, that's all," Kai's tone was both amused and fond. Tao was still unsure. That was until some memories flooded his head. He remembered Kris face a couple of weeks ago, the day after his accident. And the evening before that, when he had taken him to the infirmary. He looked so worried and pained, trying to cover it up with unkind words he obviously didn't meant. When he apologized, Tao had never seen someone so defenseless. It was as if Kris had been ripped open and set under a new light, and all of a sudden, he understood. 

"A tortoise hiding on its shell to avoid getting hurt," he whispered the Chinese phrase his mother used to say, finally understanding it's meaning, after all those years. He snapped from his deep thoughts when he noticed his friends' confused looks, and quickly gestured with his hands that it was nothing. They dropped the subject then, and continued with the project.

Tao's brain was a turmoil. It kept showing him pictures he wasn't sure he wanted to see. Kris tired, Kris hurt, Kris surprised, Kris laughing. Kris letting his guard down. His stomach twisted. He liked that Kris. The true one. The one he hated was the cold, mean one, the cover. What had hurt him so much he felt the need to keep it up?

"So, what are you planning on doing tomorrow?" Kai interrupted his suffocating thoughts. 

"What?"

Kai rolled his eyes, but he was grinning hugely, "Tomorrow. May 2nd. Your birthday, don't know if you remember."

Well, of course he did. What he didn't know was how they knew. He hadn't told anyone.

"How do you know?" he asked confusedly. He couldn't figure out how they had found out.

"It's a secret," and once again both Sehun and Kai begun practically giggling. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes fondly as they put their books out and started making their way out of the library.

"But seriously, what are you going to do?" Sehun asked, beaming.

"Nothing. I don't usually do anything special for my birthday. It's just another day." His friends' faces fell slightly, and Kai whined,

"But it's your birthday. And it's Friday. We can go out!" he bounced around excitedly, making complicated plans for the following day. Tao smiled. He really had awesome friends.

He wasn't one to particularly enjoy being the center of attention, so when he entered the classroom the following morning and spotted Kai with a ridiculous party hat, the first thing that went through his mind was escaping. That was, of course, until Kai saw him and dragged him towards the back of the class, ruffling his hair and gabbing with a faked emotional tone about how he had grown so much in the month they had known each other. What was the deal with him and birthdays? He was usually crazy, but today even more. Both Kyungsoo and Sehun wished him a happy birthday, and just when Kai seemed to be about to start singing, the teacher came in and saved Tao from further embarrassment. 

Lunch time went by in a blur. His friends greeted him and presented him with a couple of presents, and finally, to Kai's delight, they sang him "Happy Birthday". Tao could feel the eyes of everyone else on their group, but despite the fact that he preferred to avoid being looked at, he was so happy that he didn't care. He had never had close friends before, let alone friends who would care so much about him, to the point of making sure that he was enjoying his birthday. He got somewhat emotional and may or may not have cried a little.

He wasn't expecting much when, a couple of hours later, he headed to the library. Truth to be told, classes had gotten better. Sure, Kris was a jerk, but after what he had realized the evening before, he felt somewhat closer to him. Many of his gestures and actions now made sense, and most of Tao's frustration over not understanding him was gone. They had heated discussions a lot, but he could tell neither him nor Kris took them seriously. He now realized that he had been a little bit too overdramatic when he had talked to his friends.

He headed to their sun bathed spot. It was one of Tao's favorite places, one he shared with Kris only, and that made him kind of excited, although he wasn't sure why. Kris was waiting there, and when he raised his eyes from his book to look at him, Tao saw what he thought was a flash of a smile. Then he blinked and it was gone. Class went by as usual: some bickering here and there, some annoying each other, some studying. An hour later, Kris got up from his seat while Tao was still putting his books away. 

"Hey," Tao raised his eyes to find Kris standing awkwardly on the other side of the table, avoiding eye contact, looking just like when he had apologized after the accident, "Happy Birthday," Kris finally looked at him, and he knew he should thank him or something, but he could just stare, probably with his mouth open in a completely unattractive way. Why did he feel like that every time Kris did something nice for him? He tried to shake himself, and managed a slow nod. Just like that, Kris turned around and stalked out. What the hell? Only after he finished packing everything he noticed the chocolate cupcake with blue icing left in front of him.

Tao was wandering around school when he spotted him. It was Wednesday, second period of the day, and Tao had been sent to get some documents from the Principal's office. Kris was leaning against the wall outside his classroom, shoulders slumped, hands in his pockets, eyes closed and head leaned against the wall. He looked defeated. He had obviously been asked to leave the classroom. Teachers only did that as punishment. Tao mentally scolded himself. Here he had the proof that his first impressions where right. He was an idiot, believing that the Kris he had gotten to know this past few weeks was a nice person, getting attached to him. It hurt, somehow. He wondered how could his friends have told him that he was a good and honest person. He walked past him without sparing a second glance.

"Good thing that you don't have practice today, or Kris wouldn't be able to be there." Minseok commented at lunchtime. Kai and Sehun nodded, and then continued stuffing their mouths with food. God, how could they eat so much? Tao hated to admit it, but he had thought about what he had seen the whole morning. So, aiming for his most innocent face, he asked:

"Why wouldn't he?" He had gotten a note from Kris cancelling their studying session that evening, with no further explanation.

"Didn't you hear? He got detention," Luhan explained. Oh. It must have been something worse than what he had thought

"It was so unfair, though," Minseok interrupted, surprising Tao.

"What do you mean?"

"This poor kid, one of our classmates. He was being practically bullied by our teacher, just because he didn't know the answer to some stupid question," Luhan took a bite from his food. 

"And Kris, of course, had to be the knight in shiny armor. Long story short, he told the teacher to stop harassing the guy, and the teacher thought he was being disrespectful and deserved a punishment. What a jerk," Minseok finished.

Around them, most of their friends kept on chatting and laughing. But Tao remained silent. He didn't know what to feel. On one side, every day he understood less this school. A crazy, warm, kind of creepy Principal, royalty, fan clubs, and now this, abusive and idiotic teachers. But on the other, he felt so relieved that it almost knocked him over. It didn't make any sense, honestly, but now he was sure that Kris was only tough on the exterior, but was someone warm and kind inside. And he felt stupid. He had done what he hated the most: judged him wrongly without stopping to reconsider it. Both when they met and when he saw him outside the classroom he had been wrong. 

As he always did when he had spare time but not enough to go home, Tao went to the park. He liked to seat on a remote bench, almost completely hidden by bushes, with an enormous tree shadowing it. It was beautiful, and there, he could just sit back and think. And that's what he did. He thought about Kris. Every gesture, every look, every word. He couldn't understand how had he been so oblivious about everything for so long. They had known each other for more than a month now, and spoke daily. How had he missed the fact that he was just hiding his true colors? Day after day he got little clues about that. From their friends' comments to the little gift he had given him for his birthday, everything pointed to a warm, caring person. He groaned with frustration and dug the heels of his hands against his eyelids.

It had been one of the worst practices he had had so far. He was thankful that his teammates seemed to realize that and let him be, but he had been unfocused and lost, and generally an awful leader. He couldn't stop thinking, wondering, his mind reliving every moment, trying to get what his heart had understood so fast. He slowly dragged himself down the empty corridors. He was worn out. Suddenly, he heard steps, and soon he saw a short, scrawny kid running past him. He turned round the corner, and his steps started to fade.

"Kris! Kris! Wait a second, please!" Tao arrived just in time to see the kid reach Kris, who had just closed his locker and had started walking, but stopped as soon as he heard his name. When he was in front of him, the kid bowed deeply,

"Thank you so much! You didn't have to. Thank you!" he looked as if he was going to cry. From his hidden place, Tao saw Kris' face relax.

"Don't even mention it. The guy was mistreating you for no reason, someone had to do something about it," he patted the guy's shoulder, "Now, come on. It's pretty late, isn't it?" And he left with the crying boy. 

Tao leaned back against the wall. He was now a hundred percent sure he had been wrong all along.


	6. Chapter 6

He glanced at the clock above his head once again, tapping his fingers anxiously after seeing only a couple of minutes had passed. He should have arrived with the results already. Kris couldn't take the uncertainty any more. Tao really needed to past this exam, and they had been working hard the whole week. If he didn't do well, he would be assigned to someone else, and Kris would never let that happen. He groaned. How had it come to this? He had never expected to feel anything for the Panda, let alone this overwhelming feelings that seemed to have taken over his whole life. He had known he wasn't attracted to girls years ago, so it wasn't exactly a surprise when he felt attracted to Tao's body. What had surprised him was it being more than that. Sure, he was hot, but he hadn't fallen for his body. He was both strong and sweet, the only person with enough personality to dare to challenge him in a long time. And he cared. He cared about his team, about his friends. He even cared about Kris, despite him being a jerk to him most of the time. And Kris did hate himself for that. He just wanted to spend time with Tao, see him. Provoke some kind of feelings in him. Make him think about Kris. But apparently he was stupid enough to believe the only way he could do that was making him mad. God, how could he be so stupid? 

Finally, Tao burst into the library, holding some papers and grinning madly. Kris took a moment to take him in. He was honestly perfect. His face was a work of art, sharp and hard, but at the same time harmonious and gorgeous. His eyes shined, sincere and soft. And his body... No, Kris refused to think about it in a public place. He approached, still grinning, and practically shouted: 

"I did it, Kris! I passed," he looked at him in the eyes, and Kris felt something inside him twist. He smiled and, with the steadiest voice he could manage, he scoffed: 

"Well, it was expected. Because of me, of course." Tao gave him a bored look and rolled his eyes, but after glancing at his test, he smiled once again. 

"Thanks. I guess it was because of you, after all," he raised his eyes and smiled warmly. Kris had never seen something so glorious. He was so cute it made him want to cry. In that precise moment, he swore to himself that he would do anything in his power to keep that smile always there. He was done being a jerk. He used to like making him mad because his frown and pout were extremely adorable, but his smile was a million times better, if that was even possible. He had never seen him smile that way, and Kris could already feel himself becoming addicted to it, needing it desperately. He looked away, blushing slightly, but immediately looked back at Tao, not wanting to miss that smile. It was still there, and a soft, happy melody left his lips, as he stared at his test with glinting eyes. Kris had never wanted anything more than to kiss him, right there right then. He cleared his throat. 

"Sit down, we still have a lot of work to do." Tao nodded and sat beside him. He wished it was that easy. He couldn't take his mind away from his smile. 

Kris seemed completely unable to focus. No matter how hard he tried, his mind always wandered back to Tao's smile. Fuck. He was so gone.

"You have fallen again, haven't you, Wu?"

He slowly turned around, facing his best friend. The rest of the team was still practicing, and Kris felt a pang of anxiousness in his stomach. 

"What? What are you talking about?" Lay smirked as he gestured quietly to the other side of the field. 

"Zitao." 

Kris felt his whole face heat up, as his heart hammered against his ribs. 

"Wha-" he swallowed and tried to breathe "What do you mean?"

Lay smiled warmly at him, "I think he likes you too."

He felt as if air had been knocked out of him, and was pretty sure his face looked impossibly red. That was happening way too often. He threw his best friend the basketball he was holding and strode towards the rest of the team, Lay's quiet laughter behind him. 

Kris let the now cold water hit his face. Lay's words had gotten him thinking. He was the only person who knew about him being gay, although he suspected his friends were aware. What he couldn't understand was how the rest of the school wasn't. He was pretty obvious. Or at least he thought so. He needed to think, he needed peace, he needed Tao. He was absolutely sure about that. But he was also pretty sure that Tao would never pay attention to him. In the beginning, he could barely stand being near Kris, although his sour faces towards him had gotten a lot less usual lately. Despite the change in their relationship, it was still hard for them to talk about anything other than studying and their territorial rivalry. Moreover, he didn't even know if the Panda was attracted to guys or what. With a dramatic sight, he turned the shower off. It was pretty late, and everyone had left long ago. He wrapped a towel around his waist and started to dry his hair off with another, looking for his clothes. That's when he saw him. Standing a few feet away, staring at him wide eyed. Kris stopped on his tracks, feeling suddenly self-conscious. 

"It's late. What are you doing here?"

Tao looked away, blushing hard. He looked so freaking adorable.

"I... forgot something," he mumbled. Kris couldn't help but to roll his eyes, "Hey, you shouldn't be here either." Now he had annoyed him. Great. And he wasn't even trying. 

Then, several footsteps echoed in the locker room. They both looked around, until Kris heard not-so-quiet whispers. 

"Do you think Kris is still here?"

"I hope so, I didn't see him leave with the others."

"Maybe he is in the showers."

Then they screeched. Oh no. Not these girls. Not now. Not when Tao was around. Kris felt panic flood over him and he did the only thing he could do. He grabbed Tao's arm and got them in the janitor's locker. It was barely big enough for them to fit, and Tao ended up trapped between the wall and Kris's body. 

"What the fuck are you doing? Let me go!" Tao tried to free himself from his grip. Kris covered his mouth with one of his hands, while he asked him to be quiet with the other. Considering he was still wearing just a towel, in a reduced space with the guy he liked and with his hand over his mouth, it had been a terrible idea. He was suddenly completely aware of every single one of his cells. He felt Tao's breaths against his hand, looked at him in the eye. He was so screwed. After a few minutes, maybe longer than necessary, he dropped his hand.

"Where is Kris? Do you see him over there?"

"No, no one around here. He probably left with the others."

"Oh, no! I really wanted to see him."

They heard the girls leave, disappointed, and Kris let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Then he was being pushed out of the locker by a very angry looking Tao. Nice. 

"What the hell was that for?" he shouted. 

Kris laid on the floor, shocked, but after a couple of seconds he gained enough composure to get up without making a fool of himself. He averted his eyes from where he had been staring at Tao, and mumbled, feeling even more idiotic than usual. 

"Sorry. I panicked."

"And that's why you almost asphyxiated me inside a locker!?"

"I didn't want those girls to find me," he lowered his gaze, trying desperately to drop the subject. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Popularity. It must be horrible to have all those girls pursuing you." 

"It is. They are completely crazy," he could hear the whine in his tone. That was pathetic. 

"Well, that's the life of the school's superstar, isn't it?" Tao mocked him, "Having so many girls to choose from can't be easy, but breaking their hearts must be fun." Now his tone was empty, and bitter. 

Kris looked at him confusedly. What had he done to make Tao think about him that way? He looked at the ceiling without enthusiasm. 

"I'm not interested in none of those girls," he mumbled. 

Tao looked at him surprised. 

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't know you had a girlfriend. Well, I should have guessed it... After all, it's none of my business." Then he ignored Kris and started taking his stuff out of his locker. 

Kris was shocked. This couldn't be happening to him. The boy he liked now thought he was dating someone else. Worse than that, he thought he was dating a woman. He had to do something, but what? He was trying to come up with a way to explain it to him when he noticed Tao was about to leave. 

"I don't," he blurted. Tao turned around confusedly. 

"What?"

"I don't... Have... a girlfriend..."

"Oh. I see?" He was obviously surprised. And confused. After all, Kris didn't owe him any explanation. 

With a nod, Tao left the room, leaving a half dressed Kris standing there and wondering when had his life come to this. 

Once again Kris found himself thinking about Tao. He stopped pretending to read and stared openly at the space between shelves where he would soon appear. He could only expect Tao to let their weird conversation from the evening before go, but he knew he wasn't so lucky. His suspicions where confirmed when he burst into their space, looking anxious and troubled, but not exactly angry. That was quite an improvement. But Kris was ashamed. And kind of nervous. He avoided looking at him as he sat down on his usual spot.

That was an awkward class. Kris could feel Tao's eyes on him, and as much as he liked them, his stare was making him anxious. From the corner of his eye, he could see the Panda having a hard time concentrating, opening and closing his mouth several times, as if he wanted ask him something. Finally, just when Kris was beginning to think that he had let the incident go, he didn't seem to be able to hold himself anymore.

"Why did you tell me you didn't have a girlfriend?" 

Wow. He hadn't actually expected him to be so bold. Fine. He had this sort of mental speech prepared, just in case. But then again, just as he was about to tell him this beautifully complicated lie he had come up with, all the words he had wanted to say the night before came back to him. He bit his lower lip to prevent them from coming out. So, he did what he usually did in these situations. Close himself up. He was truly an idiot.

"Didn't you tell me it was none of your business?" He finally looked up and smiled after seeing Tao's unamused look. He was unfairly adorable. Then, he felt something stir inside him. What if the Panda was dating someone? He swallowed nervously. 

"Does the ninja have a girlfriend, then?" he inquired with the most casual tone he could manage.

Tao raised his head violently, staring at him, but soon averting his eyes, and stuttering a quiet "No."

Kris couldn't help but to let out a relieved laughter. Their sunny table seemed suddenly lighter, brighter. 

"Shut up, you don't have a girlfriend either," was Tao's offended response. 

"True, but I had a-" Wait. What the hell was he saying? He closed his mouth and looked away, breaking eye contact.

"You had a what?" The boy looked surprised. 

Kris slowly looked back at him, blushing slightly. 

"You shouldn't demand explanations from your superiors, Panda." Only after seeing his eyes widen he noticed what he had said. Fuck.

"The lesson is over," he stood up and begun to leave the place, mentally scolding himself. Soon he felt Tao's quick footsteps behind him.

"Hey! Why did you call me like that?" He asked confusedly.

Kris stopped walking, making him bump into his back. 

"It's nothing special. You just remind me of one." Tao laughed lightly, making him turn around and sending an electrical current through his body. 

"I like it," he was smiling.

Kris actually thought he couldn't take it any longer. This was the first time he heard him laugh, and it was too much. He felt as if his chest was going to explode, his eyes were wide open and he could barely feel his hands.

Then the smile was gone and he was able to breathe again. Tao swallowed, looking away.

"Hey, Kris. Tomorrow is the race, so we won't be having the class, right?"

He had totally forgotten about the race. 10 kilometers. Thousands of participants. One winner. Okay, actually it was just a charity school event, where students would run across a field on the outside of the city, close to the mountains. It was kind of a big deal, even among those who weren't into running, and everyone wanted to be there. Every few kilometers, there would be a resting place, with water, first aids kits, and guarding teachers. His mind had been busy lately, and he hadn't even remembered it, but now that he knew Tao was running, he had to go.

"Yes, sure," he smirked, "But you should know that I have won the race every year since I came into the school. So don't get your hopes up."

Tao rolled his eyes, mocking him, "Then I guess anyone can win it. It must be pretty easy."

"I don't think so. Your tiny body wouldn't even make it halfway." Two could play that game.

"Are you kidding me!? You are lighter than me, and barely a couple of centimeters taller!" 

"Enough to beat you," he smiled mockingly.

Tao was glaring, "Let's bet something, if you are so confident. If I win," he paused and narrowed his eyes at him, making Kris suppress a fond smile, "You won't shout at me in class anymore! If you win..."

"If I win, you will wear panda ears to school for a week." Color left Tao's face, and he opened and closed his mouth soundlessly.

"It think it'll be against the dress code," he stuttered.

Kris chuckled in response, "Fine. Just buy me an ice cream or something like that." 

Tao narrowed his eyes at him, still blushing slightly, turned around and walked back to the library. But Kris wanted to believe that the small smile he had spotted on his face as he turned around had actually been there.

After a small struggle to get rid of the squealing girls, or, as Lay liked to call them, "the plague", Kris finally spotted his friends. Well, actually, he spotted Tao, surrounded by Kai, Sehun and Kyungsoo. He couldn't help but to frown. The guys were really close to him, but nowadays he was kind of jealous of their relationship with Tao. They got to spend a lot of time with him, seeing as they were classmates, but also because they sat with the wushu team at lunchtime. The rest of the basketball team used to sit together, but now most of his friends had gotten closer to the other team as well, and took turns to sit with them. Kris was the only one who hadn't been invited to join them, and he felt a little bit rejected. Lay had told him straight out that he was an idiot. They hadn't asked because every time they even talked about it he looked as if he was going to murder someone. If he wanted to sit with them so much he should have just asked to. 

"Stop staring, Wu. It's creepy," Lay smiled next to him, making him jump slightly.

"Shut up." Now he was blushing hard. In public. Great.

The scene was... quite hilarious. His friends stood at the starting point, wearing ridiculous tracksuits, and shooting defying glances at each other. Tao locked eyes with him and he smiled confidently in return, feeling stupidly warm when the boy set his mouth into a line and looked away. 

The race started, and not long after Kris was way ahead of him. He actually liked running. It made him feel calm, and free. He did it every morning, when no one had woken up yet and the streets were peaceful. Now he wasn't even trying that hard. Soon he reached the 3 km stop, almost leading the race. He waited for more than twenty minutes, earning suspicious glances from several students, but there was still no sign of Tao. That was boring. Yeah, sure, the landscape was beautiful and he was doing something he liked, but without him it was just another race. And it didn't have any emotion if he won by so much. Besides that, he wasn't even interested in the prize, it was just that he was an extremely competitive person. That and the fact that he kept on thinking about how endearing Tao would look when he lost. 

Just when he was about to reach the 7 km stop, he felt his phone vibrate. The screen lit up with Lay's name, so he picked up.

"Where are you?" was his greeting.

"Around the 6th km, why? And what about you?"

"Just got to the 3 km stop," Kris rolled his eyes. His friend was probably listening to music, feeling the wind on his face, admiring the scenery. Feeling the moment, as he called it, "But that's not important. Look, Tao just came in. He was a couple of kilometers away, but he saw that a girl had fallen and hurt herself, and her friend couldn't help her, so he carried her back to the stop to get first aids," he was quiet for a couple of moments, "Just thought you should know."

"I'll call you back."

Kris just stood there with his phone on his hand, wondering what he should do. If he won like that, it wouldn't be fair. Tao was helping someone who needed it. He stomped down on the surge of jealousy that rose after knowing that this girl got to touch Tao. It was stupid, and selfish. He ended up deciding to wait for him. It was the least he could do. He sat at the edge of the marked road and watched the students run past him. Then he realized it would be the first time he lost. It wouldn't matter, as long as he lost with Tao. 


	7. Chapter 7

He had never actually thought he would use the basic first aids his mom had taught him years ago, once he had sprained his ankle. He hadn't needed them for five years, but there he was. 

Tao had been running at a good pace, saving energy for the final kilometers. He wasn't particularly fond of the activity, but he understood why people were. It was relaxing. And liberating. He had thought it was kind of ridiculous when he found out about the race, but after all, what else could he expect from that school? Huge building, crazy people, big events. When he was around the second mile, a girl appeared in front of him, shouting.

"Hey, wushu guy!" Wow, he hadn't even been three months at this school and he already had a nickname. Nice. "Yes, you. You look strong."

Tao slowed down, and the girl approached, looking desperate.

"Look, sorry to bother you, but I was with my friend, and we took sort of a shortcut to avoid the strong sun. The thing is, it was all muddy and with branches, and she ended up falling. She can't get up, and I'm not strong enough to help her. I think she twisted her ankle."

Without even thinking about it, Tao ran behind her, looking for the girl. They were pretty far back, and only halfway he remembered about his bet with Kris. He cursed himself, but now there was nothing he could do. The first thing he noticed after arriving to the place of the accident was the cause. There was small ravine, covered with grass, which made it invisible and difficult to avoid. The poor girl had been crying, but as soon as she saw Tao she cleaned her face. He pretended not to notice. Her ankle was indeed sprained. Badly, in fact. It was all swollen, and he could already see the hematomas that would get darker hours later. His mother had told him that the first thing he had to do was get ice, but clearly that was impossible. So, he jumped to the only step he could actually do. He quickly removed his shirt, ripped it, and bandaged her ankle as best as he could. Finally, after a quarter of hour, he finished and lifted his head, startling the girls, who apparently had been checking him out. The girls blushed slightly and he smiled. After that, he spent several minutes trying to talk the girl into letting him carry her to the stop. She was very stubborn, and his difficulty with the language didn't help, but it would be way faster than to wait for them to look for help, and obviously she couldn't walk, so her friend ended up convincing her. She was very light, and Tao didn't have any trouble setting her on his back. He grabbed the back of her knees, and turned his head slightly, telling her to hold onto his shoulders. She blushed hard and nodded. It took another quarter to get to the stop. Tao wouldn't admit it, but it had been hard, and both his legs and his back hurt. Besides that, he was sure he had already lost the bet, and that didn't help his mood. As soon as the teachers spotted them, they run to her aid. Tao stood beside her until they called the ambulance and assured him she would be fine. The girls thanked him, and, after saying goodbye, he went to get a water bottle. He was already tired, and he hadn't even finished half the race. 

"Hey, Tao! What happened?" Lay approached, looking at him worriedly. That's when Tao remembered he was still shirtless, and probably looked muddy and disheveled. 

He summed up the incident for Lay, dismissing it when he saw his friend's worried face. After a couple of minutes, they parted, and Tao returned to the race. He really liked Lay. He was warm and understanding, always worrying about the wellbeing of everyone. Actually, he was close to all his friends. His teammates were the best he could ask for. Luhan had helped him a lot getting used to the new culture, and he and Minseok always made sure everyone was feeling fine. Baekhyun made everyone's mood better as soon as he entered the room, and Joonmyeon was the mother of the group, scolding them when necessary, but also taking care of them. Kyungsoo was always there to help him around, and sometimes looked like the only completely sane person in the group. They all worked really hard, and he was proud of them. He also spent a lot of time with Kai and Sehun because they were his classmates, and they were both really great guys. Sometimes kind of self-centered, sure, but also fun and caring. Chanyeol and Chen, the same as Lay, had slowly got into their group. Chanyeol had instantly hit it off with Baekhyun, and together they could make Tao laugh until he cried, and Chen was a weird mixture between prankster and caretaker. They were all incredibly sweet, and they cared about Tao more than anyone had ever had. The only one he couldn't seem to completely understand and befriend was Kris. 

He gave himself time to feel miserable about life. He wasn't used to losing, and he hated it. Especially against Kris, his nemesis. He didn't actually remember when he had started thinking about him that way... Oh right, the very first day they met, when Kris had shouted at him for the stupid half of the court. They had both been idiots. He wasn't one to fight, in fact he tended to avoid them, but Kris brought those feelings up on him. Tao knew he ought to respect him, after all he was older, and his tutor, but deep inside him, he wished they could just be equals, friends, just like with the rest of the team. They were all really nice, normal people, with their egos a bit high because of all that "exclusiveness of the basketball team" nonsense, but they were fun to be around. The thought of inviting Kris to join them at lunchtime had crossed his mind several times, but every time he tried to the guy's face showed indifference and irritation, and Tao hated feeling that he was being even more annoying than usual. He already knew that he was a burden to Kris, that he was only tutoring him from the scholarship he had admitted needing. And besides that, why would he need a scholarship? Everyone at that school was freaking rich, it was one of the most exclusive and expensive highschools of Seul. Not everyone could get in, and the only reason he was even there was because of his own scholarship, that he had to maintain every single day, going to tutoring with Kris even when the language didn't help, his tutor's hate even less, and he was generally worn out.

He blinked, focusing once again on the race, and sighted. He was going really slow, but his thoughts didn't seem to shut up and let him concentrate. He just wished they could talk to each other, have a good time together. They had really similar personalities. Then, the memory of the time they spent together in the janitor's locker hit him full force. He could still feel Kris flushed against him, his hand touching him, preventing him from talking, his mouth so close, wet and warm. He had to stop to catch his breath, his face feeling incredibly hot. It had been so... real. All of a sudden, he had the uncontrollable need of catching up with Kris, seeing him, beating him, just for the sake of it. To feel he is there. He still had a slight chance of winning, something could have happened to him. Maybe he could reach him, see his face when he lost. This last thought was enough to make him smile and boost his energy. He started running as fast as he could, overtaking several students, until he felt his lungs burn with the lack of oxygen. But he couldn't stop, the only thought on his mind was Kris, he needed him. He didn't know, didn't understand what was wrong with him, what he felt towards Kris. Finally, his body couldn’t keep going and he had to slow down and walk, breathing hard. He was already near the 6th km, the next stop was less than a kilometer ahead.

And that's when he saw him. Sitting on the floor, knees up and hand on his face, staring down at his cellphone with apathy. In that precise moment, Tao finally understood him. He was able to see him as he really was, just a common guy, with big ego just like his friends, but different at the same time. Kris didn't care at all about any of it, he just went along with whatever the rest of the school expected from him. The guy that had blushed after calling him Panda the day before, the one that had run like a scared puppy from the girls chasing him, the one who smiled at him after passing his exam and always explained patiently in Chinese everything he didn't understand, and congratulated him smiling softly when he finally got it right. That was the real Kris. The true one. The one Tao really liked and cared for. He caught his breath as fast as he could and approached him smiling.

"Hey, would you have lunch with us tomorrow?"

Kris raised his head and took a moment to focus. Then, his eyes widened and he jumped to stand up.

"Wh-What are you doing here?" he stuttered.

"Running," he smiled, "I had some sort of... mishap, but it seems that I can still win our bet, right?"

Kris looked at him with his mouth slightly open, shocked.

"Come on. I need water. I'm dying and I just want to rest. It's just one more kilometer until the next stop," he grabbed Kris' sleeve and pulled him into walking besides him, smiling brightly. He was pretty sure it was Lay who had told him about what had happened, and he had stayed there waiting for him. Well, Tao wasn't that lucky. Maybe there was another reason why he had stopped running.

"Are you okay?" he asked with conversational tone.

"Fine." 

"Were you waiting for someone?" his nonchalant tone wasn't very convincing.

"No... no one in particular. I was just tired, it seems like I'm out of shape..." he sounded so nervous it made Tao laugh. He was such a crappy liar. And quite a case. But at the same time, he was so... cute. 

They got to the next stop in silence, and sat together after fetching a bottle of water.

"Will you?"

"What?" Kris raised his head confusedly, looking like a trapped puppy, as if trying to avoid questions because he knows his secret has been uncovered. Sweet Kris.

"Have lunch with us. Just like Kai, Lay, Sehun and the guys," Tao smiled. "If you want," he added after Kris' long silence, "I'm not forcing you or anything."

The question felt bigger. It wasn't just about lunch now, although Tao wasn't quite sure what was it about. He stared down at his water bottle, avoiding Kris' look.

"Sure," he sounded uncomfortable, making Tao's previous confidence slip away.

"Hey, we have to move on. We don't want to end up last, do we?" he mumbled with a frown on his tone.

Kris stood up right away, getting closer to him than what was strictly necessary, "Right. Afterwards, we can go and buy the ice-cream you owe me," he flashed a smile.

Tao was puzzled once again. First he acted cold and uninterested, and a second later he was intimate and playful. He was full of surprises. Not that he was complaining. He smiled back teasingly,

"First you have to beat me." And then he bolted as fast as he could, surprising Kris, who took a second before running behind him. Jogging lightheartedly, they overtook a lot of people, although it was obvious that they would never be even between the first hundred, let alone win. But, one of them had to win. They mocked each other every time one took the lead, and started high-fiving every student they left behind.

Finally, they entered the home stretch. Kris, having rested more than him, took the lead. Just a couple of meters before the finishing line, he stopped on his tracks, turned around, and ran towards Tao. He grabbed his arm and suddenly Tao found himself being carried as a sack of potatoes. Kris was holding him from his legs, and the only thing he could do besides screaming from the shock, was holding tightly to Kris shirt. The students surrounding them bursted out laughing, making him cover his face from embarrassment. Just like that Kris crossed the finish line. He placed Tao back on the floor, giving him the most sincere smile he had ever seen. He stood there, breathless, just looking at him, feeling his chest compress. From the corner of his eye, he caught the glimpse of Chen and Baekhyun approaching, but he didn't seem to be able to take his eyes away from Kris, who was staring down at him as well. His breath was shallow, and not precisely from running. He didn't actually pay any attention to his friends until freezing cold water hit his bare back. He squirmed and turned around, only to find the guys roaring with laughter. A moment later Minseok and Luhan joined them, ruffling his hair affectionately. He was kind of self-conscious, uncomfortable and annoyed, but then a low chuckle made him turn his attention back to Kris. He was smiling once again, sending a wave of warmth through his whole body. Tao lowered his head, feeling his eyes well up. The tightness inside his chest threatened to asphyxiate him, but at the same time his heart bet hard against his ribs, strong and alive. He felt his whole life had been leading up to this moment. He finally got it. He hadn't even considered it a possibility, but now he knew there was no turning back. A series of memories went through his mind. Every single day they had spent together. Every gesture. Every word. Every touch. He hadn't known how to label his feelings, but now he knew. He had fallen hard. He was crazy in love with Kris.


	8. Chapter 8

He was in the locker room, alone. Shirtless. His back muscles well defined, enticing, inviting. He turned around and smiled sweetly after spotting him.

"Hi Kris," Tao's smile widened. 

Kris walked towards him, feeling pulled by Tao, and leaned against the lockers.

"Haven't seen you all day," he murmured, as nonchalantly as he could. Tao snickered lowly, looking endeared. 

"Well, here I am. What happened?"

Kris removed himself from the lockers, stepping in front of Tao. He took a step closer, until he could feel the heat radiating from him. Tao didn't seem to care. Kris raised his eyes, taking in his gorgeous features, letting his eyes linger at his mouth. 

"I missed you, Panda," he raised his hand slowly, getting hold of his chin. They locked eyes and Tao blinked up at him, eyes shining, smile widening. He was so perfect. Kris lifted his other hand, slowly stroking the soft skin of Tao's hip. The boy shivered slightly, making Kris tighten his grip around him, bringing him closer. Tao let out a small chuckle, which ended up being a shaky breath. They were so close that Kris could almost taste him, sweet and warm. He felt himself lean closer, needing more of that taste. Their lips came into contact, sending an electric current through their bodies, making them close their eyes. Slowly, hesitantly, delicately, Kris begun moving his lips against Tao's. He could feel their texture, tender and soft, the one he had longed so many times. The one he had wanted to touch, kiss, own since the moment they met. On the other hand, they were sort of dry, and Kris couldn't leave them that way. His tongue traced his lower lip, and Tao let out a small gasp, kissing him back with eagerness and need. They became one. Kris could feel Tao's body react to every single touch, every single movement. He removed his hand from his hip, making his way towards his abdomen, caressing the soft skin, feeling the firm muscles against his fingertips. It was passionate, intense. Surreal. Really... dreamlike.

Kris felt his stomach drop. Then he was sitting up, trembling from the impact. He untangled himself from the warm sheets, feeling trapped, suffocated. It had all been a dream. The best one he had ever had. He glanced at the clock on his bedside. 3:00 am. Great. He sighted. It had felt so real. And he was... hard. If he didn't take care of it, he would be in pain in the morning. He brought his hands to his lips, feeling them dry and cold, nostalgic from Tao's. It hurt knowing it hadn't been real, it would never be. He would never get to have Tao that way. He hadn't felt so lonely in a long time, his empty house only a reminder that he had no one besides his friends. He ended up falling asleep once again after taking care of his... issue, waking up only when his alarm went off. Kris groaned and stretched, his huge bed cold, making him feel so tiny. He felt a void in his chest. He needed warmth. He needed Tao's warmth. He mentally slapped himself. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why was he being so dramatic? 

He had lived alone for almost six years now. It hadn't been his choice, of course. What 12 year-old boy would want to live all by himself in a foreign country? Well, he hadn't. He had been against the idea of moving away from China in the first place. It wasn't until years later that he kind of understood that his parents were only doing that to keep him safe. His father's business had gotten him many enemies, and he couldn't risk them hurting Kris. They had escaped. He was suddenly drawn away from his house, his school, his friends, his whole life, and placed in this huge, lonely house, in a country where he couldn't understand anything. He was sent to the best elementary school in the country. He always had the best everything. Everything but his parents. They were still working in China, leaving him with a supervisor who later on quitted, when Kris begun to get difficult. That had been the worst year of his life. Well, maybe the second worst. He had an awful time at school, as he didn't understand a word in Korean, but, as he already was pretty smart, he soon leant enough to get by. What he couldn't manage to get were friends. By the end of the year, he had informed his parents that that had been his last year of studies. They weren't happy, of course, but after all, there was nothing they could do, they were never around. And they didn't even care about him that much. 

One day, as he had been walking aimlessly around the park, he spotted a couple of guys playing basketball. He had always loved it, and used to play a lot back at home, in China, but since he had left he had been drained from his ambitions and motivations. He approached hesitantly, without wanting to interrupt. One of the boys playing saw him and asked if he wanted to play. He was also Chinese, and Kris felt as if finally something had been set right. Lay became his best friend instantly. They spent the whole summer together, and when school was about to start, Kris demanded his parents change him to his friend's middle school. They weren't in a position to refuse. He felt better. For a few hours a day, everything was right. He had his friend, he had mastered the language, and he was doing great at school. But then he was all alone again. When Lay suggested they entered their current high school, commenting on the awesome basketball team, it had all been perfect. At least for a while. 

After the race, his relationship with Tao had changed drastically. He seemed more comfortable around him, and honestly Kris couldn't be happier. He had accepted Tao's offer, and now both teams sat together at lunch. He could see that they were getting a lot of attention from the rest of the school, which made him feel even more exposed than usual, but it was a small price to pay when he could spend so much time with Tao, just talking to him or watching him eat. God, he was a creep. But the Panda was so adorable and kind it sometimes made him want to hug him and cover him with blankets and never let him go. Not creepy at all. Actually, sometimes he couldn't believe how many things had changed because of him. To begin with, Kris had never had so many mixed emotions in his life. He was usually quite a simple guy, but now one moment he was the happiest person on earth and the next he felt and oppressive loneliness. And the defining factor was Tao. 

There were also the tutoring lessons. Despite the fact that sometimes Kris couldn't help but to get annoyed and yell at him, Tao seemed to have learnt to deal with him, understanding his changing emotions or just being able to ignore them. There were hardly any fights, and now the lessons were a thing he actually enjoyed, and he believed Tao did too. Slowly, they were opening up to each other. Kris loved being able to see inside Tao's mind, to hear him talk about their friends, his team, classes, the crappy movie he had seen on TV the evening before, his mother, everything. Kris himself was still learning to open up, after all, it wasn't easy changing his ways after such a long time, but he trusted him, and slowly became more comfortable with sharing his life. Academically, Tao had improved a lot. Kris had known he was really intelligent since the moment he opened his mouth, and, after all, it wasn't easy to get into the school with a scholarship, even if you were awesome at sports. They worked hard, and their efforts showed. His weakest subject was actually English, as he had admitted languages bothered him, so it was understandable that his Korean still had flaws.

Constantly bathed with warm sunlight from a skylight, and surrounded by tall bookshelves, their table at the library had become their safe place, where they could talk freely and be themselves. Kris treasured every single moment they spent there. But one evening, as the midterm exams were approaching and everyone was doing last minute revision, they came into the library to find it occupied. Last time that had happened, the plague had made it impossible for them to study, and Kris abhorred having curious eyes on him when he was with Tao. It was stupid, and selfish, but their moments were theirs, not for everyone to see. So, he suggested a small coffee shop where he hid from the word when he needed time for himself. Tao accepted and not long after they arrived to the cozy room and begun their work for the upcoming exams. When Kris had suggested taking the evening off and resting a while before the exams, Tao had insisted that he needed to study as much as possible. Although now it didn't seem like it.

"Hey! Wake up," Kris snapped after a few minutes of looking at Tao doodling uninterestedly on his English book, "You'll never pass like that. Moreover, you won't be able to answer a single question."

"Sorry, okay? I can't. Hate this," he answered with a groan. 

"Silly Panda," Kris muttered annoyed, resting his head on his hand. Since the day he had accidentally revealed the nickname, it had become one of the things they shared, an habit. Although right now it was more of an insult. Tao frowned, and Kris couldn't fight the warmth that all that cuteness gave him. The weather was finally warmer, meaning that they were both wearing the summer uniform, and Kris had had quite a hard time trying to ignore the sight of Tao's muscles through his lighter shirt. And he had failed miserably. But Tao still needed to study, and they weren't progressing at all like this. Then he had an idea. 

"I know! Let's bet something!" Betting small things had become a thing they did after the race. They were both quite competitive guys, so usually they ended up forgetting about the price and just doing it for the sake of winning. The boy instantly lost his frown and smiled up at Kris across the table. 

"What are we betting?"

Kris scanned the place, smiling after he found what he was looking for, "I bet you one of those tasty and chocolaty cakes," he pointed to said cakes, that actually did look very tempting, "That you can't answer every single question from that page without a mistake."

"Of course," Tao yelped excitedly, grabbing his pencil and focusing intently on the book. 

Only a few minutes later, he passed the book back to Kris. To his surprise, everything was perfect. Not even one tiny error. 

"Now, the cake," Tao smiled smugly. 

"Fine. It was a fair victory," rolling his eyes, he got up to buy the cake.

He just didn't see the appeal of those things. As a kid, he had never been allowed to eat them, and after a while he had lost interest. Besides, he enjoyed sports, and sweets only made you slower and fatter. But when he placed the small piece in front of Tao, his whole face lit up. He looked incredibly hot and endearing at the same time, enjoying that piece of diabetes, that it made Kris want to try it. If possible, from Tao's lips. He looked away and fumbled for his fork, stealing a bite of cake and tasting it. He supposed it was alright, overly sweet and cloying, nothing special. He was sure it would have been way better from the Panda's lips. 

"Hey! What the fuck was that!?" he growled, glaring daggers at Kris, "That is my piece of cake! You said it yourself, I won fairly!"

"I bought it. I have the right," he replied smiling innocently. 

"Idiot," Tao was now staring at the cake mournfully. Come on! Kris had only taken a tiny little bite, he still had the rest of the piece for himself. 

Kris took his fork and snatched another bit of the cake. Then it all happened too fast. He felt Tao's hand grab his wrist, preventing him from eating his cake, and took the fork in his mouth. What basically left Kris feeding him cake without even knowing. He was about to have something. Tao turned scarlet upon noticing, and Kris dropped the fork, feeling his face heat up. Tao resumed eating his precious piece of calories, sneaking glances at Kris from the corner of his eye. He looked ten times more adorable, if that was even possible, and Kris felt his chest constrict with the sudden, unavoidable urge to kiss him. 

"You know, if you had asked me I would have given you some," his small voice interrupted his thoughts. 

Kris looked up at him. He was so honest, so innocent, his eyes filled with so many emotions. He had to answer, say something, anything, but he didn't find his voice. 

"I'm not particularly fond of sweet things. I just did it to bother you."

Great. He should have stayed quiet. Tao frowned deeply and muttered something that sounded quite similar to an insult. Kris hated himself. Why did he have to do that? Being so insincere and acting like an idiot every time they were getting closer to each other? Well, he wasn't completely angry. After all, he got to see Tao eating cake angrily, and that was priceless. 

"You are really well prepared for those exams. Why did you want to study today?" 

Tao choked on his cake, "Hmm. You know what they say," he laughed awkwardly, "you never know what you know until you revise it, right?" 

Kris frowned. It wasn't usual for Tao to behave like that. 

"Isn't it 'You don't know what you have until you lose it'?" 

"Yeah, right. Anyway, are we leaving?"

Kris rested his elbows on the table, bored, "Believe me. I have no rush to get home."

"Isn't your family waiting for you?" Tao blinked at him innocently. 

"Nope."

Tao looked both troubled and sympathetic, "You could come to my house..." he whispered without realizing it, opening his eyes wide and turning impossibly red once the words left his mouth. 

"What? Did you say something?" of course he had. Kris had heard him perfectly. But he seemed so caught off guard he ignored the joy the offer had given him and pretended not to hear. 

"No. Nothing, nothing!" the boy shouted, earning their table more than a few glances from the other customers. Tao hid his face in his arms, and Kris surprised himself giggling softly at the sight. Tao's head bolted back up, and he smiled shyly. Hesitantly, Kris got up from the table. 

"I believe we should leave. We have already caused quite a commotion." 

Tao got up, his smile still faintly there, and they left the place. That night, Kris didn't feel so lonely anymore. 


	9. Chapter 9

He was happy. It had been too long since Tao had been able to say that. But now he truly was. Sure, not everything was perfect, but he had learnt with time to be grateful for the good things in life and try to change the bad ones. So that's what he did. His new school was everything he had hoped for when applying, and now felt as a second home for him. The wushu team, his team, had had a lot to do with it. The guys weren't just his teammates, they were his friends, real, caring ones, the kind he had never had before. They were also dedicated and hard working.

After the first wushu exhibition, now a month ago, a couple of students had taken an interest in the sport. There were now ten members. Besides him and his friends, there were two boys from first year, JongHae and Daehyuk. The first one was shorter but pretty strong, and although neither of them had the slightest idea about how wushu worked, they were eager to learn. Hyungsoo, who was in his last year, had never trained seriously, but was pretty good with martial arts in general. Finally, Mineun, one of Baekhyun's classmates, was their best incorporation. She had trained for years, and when she found out about Tao's presence at school, she had been thrilled and entered the team. She was insanely good, and helped them all, specially the other new boys, improve their techniques.

The relationship with the basketball team had also improved, and now not only did they hardly argue about the field but also they had gained their respect. Sometimes, a member of the team would get to their practice early, just because they were impressed with Tao's abilities. The academic part of his life also seemed to be going well. He had had a hard time adjusting to the language and the subjects, but his teachers had been very helpful and understanding, and soon he was just as good as everyone else. Almost.

Of course, Kris had had a lot to do with his improvement. Tao had been so relieved when they started getting along. The way he had opened up after the race proved Tao's theory that he was just scared of showing his true self. Sometimes, when they were having lunch together or studying, he could see the real Kris, and he wanted to get rid of the facade forever. But he could still see clearly the line the guy had traced between them. He demanded respect. He barely shared information about his life outside the school. He didn't go to see him practice. I was silly, probably, but it hurt Tao's feelings. He liked Kris, he really did. He was in love with him. That realization had hit him hard. He hadn't expected to fall for anyone, never had. And even less for a guy. He had freaked out at first, but then he understood it was too late. Kris had mixed himself in almost every fiber of his life, in every thought, never mind how childish it sounded. Tao sometimes found himself thinking about him at random times, wondering about him, wanting to know more about the person behind the mask. That's why he had never felt happier than after hearing him call him Panda. Ninja, he hated it, but the way Panda had slipped from his mouth made him realize that Kris did think about him, did care. He hadn't known back then, but in that moment everything had changed. Since then that line had begun to disappear. Kris was sometimes hard to understand, with his constant mood swings, but Tao had learnt to just be patient and wait for him. And Kris caught on. And they began to talk. To really talk. 

The festival. It sounded so pretty and enjoyable. And theoretically, it was. Every team or club prepared something special to share with their friends and families one day a year. There were shows and food and fireworks. Pretty cool, right? But it was actually quite complicated. Tao had been working even harder than usual, trying to get everything ready. After not much discussion, the team had decided to do a movie like performance showing their skills. It would be dramatic, intriguing, perfect. They had worked endlessly and it was finally ready. Two days to go, everything was running smoothly. Except for one little detail. The gym. They had thought it would be just right for them. After all, it was dark and spacious. Then, Tao found out that other two teams also needed it. Okay, they would have less room, but Tao could share. But Kris couldn't. He had barely accepted the wushu team's presence, and they had shared the gym for two months. When a couple of boys from those teams appeared at the gym that evening, Kris had told them politely but firmly that the gym was already taken and that they would have to go somewhere else. Of course, as usual, they obeyed. Despite having learnt about the school's hierarchy quite a long time ago, it still amused Tao. He found it hard to believe that the same guy he spent his evenings with was considered a prince that had to be obeyed and worshiped at all times. As they were about to leave, Tao stopped them. 

"Just wait a second, okay? I'm sure we can work it out," he strode towards Kris, who was still preparing his team's game as if nothing had happened. 

"Hey, Kris." He turned around and smiled shyly at Tao. It made something inside him clench and his heart stammer. But now it wasn't the right time for this. 

"What's up, Panda?" Tao pushed down the wave of fondness that invaded him. 

"Why did you tell those boys to leave? You know perfectly well that there is plenty of space for the four of us here." 

Kris' smile fell and he folded his arms moodily, "No, there is not," Tao rolled his eyes. Why was he being so stubborn? "Hey, I already let you guys stay here. Don't push it, Tao."

Tao felt a surge of anger inside of him, "You- You let us?" Kris winced at his tone, hardening his look, "Who the hell do you think you are to decide if we can use the gym or not?" He had raised his voice, once again. They didn't seem to be able to have a single discussion without doing so, although Tao wasn't even that mad. 

"Well, someone has to, right?" His hands were pressed into tight fists, his whole posture looking tense, "And why are you here talking to me? If they had a problem with what I said, why didn't they come talk to me themselves?"

"Because apparently, I'm the only person in this freaking school who can talk some sense into you!"

Kris blinked down at him, taken aback. His posture relaxed a fraction, and with a different voice, filled with something Tao couldn't quite grasp and wide eyes, he replied:

"Yes. Yes you are."

He heard a chuckle and turned around to find all his friends gathered, looking annoyingly amused. Apparently, they were just a show for them. Great. The other boys were practically gaping, mouths open and eyes round, speechless. 

"Hey, guys! I'm talking to you."

Just then, a petite girl materialized in front of them. They had been so caught up in their fight they hadn't noticed her asking about how much space they needed for the festival. It looked like she was one of the girls in charge of organizing the whole event. Poor soul. If Tao had trouble reaching an agreement with just one person, he couldn't even thing about dealing with the whole school. They drew apart, looking apologetic. The girl smiled.

"That's better. So, could you please tell me how much space will each of you need? You know, to have everything clear from now on."

Kris coughed, "We'll use half the gym. You can share the other side."

"What!? What the fuck is wrong with you!? You don't even need that much space."

The guys had excitedly commented that they had prepared one of those games where a person throws a basketball aiming for the mark, hoping to make the person sitting on top of a water tank fall. The designated victim, Chen, wasn't exactly thrilled about it. Theoretically, he had been chosen for being relatively short, but Tao was pretty sure it was a just a small payback for all the pranks he had played on the rest of the team.

And just like that, they begun fighting again. Another girl joined the first one, talking nervously, demanding her attention. From the corner of his eye, Tao could see her getting desperate.

"Shut up!" she screamed, making them both withdraw. They hadn't noticed they were so close to each other. 

"I'm really, really sorry to bother you, but we don't have eno-" 

The first girl raised a finger, "Let me think," three pairs of eyes were fixed on her face, "You," she said, turning to the nervous girl, "Need more cakes to sale," she nodded, "and you," she turned to face Kris, "I'm not sure what your problem is. But let's do something. Tomorrow, you guys will bake the cakes," she fixed them with a look as they were about to protest, "The one who makes the best ones will decide what to do with the gym. Just let me know by the end of the day. Do you agree?" 

They both nodded and the girl left, followed closely by her friend. 

Tao turned around and smiled at the two boys, "Don't worry. We'll work it out," he realized it was only his ridiculous pride and eagerness to win making the decision, but he was convinced he would beat Kris. The guy didn't really look like he knew how to bake. 

After they left, the leaders turned to their teams expectantly. 

"No. Just. No."

"Sorry guys. Football practice."

"Yeah, me too."

"I have an exam next week I really need to revise for."

"You got yourselves into it. You work it out."

"Really, do you even know how to bake?"

"Ugh. I can't. Because... Yeah."

"Idiots."

"This is between you two. Don't drag us in."

He couldn't believe it. Just when they needed them the most, they turned their backs on them. The festival was only two days away and they had to prepare a dozen of cakes. And truth to be told, he wasn't exactly sure how to bake either. 

The following day, after practice, Tao dragged himself along the corridors towards the school's kitchen. It wasn't exactly how he wanted to spend his Friday evening. Not that he had anything better to do. After wandering around the school for a couple of minutes, he finally found it. Come on, this was getting ridiculous. When he had heard about the school's kitchen, he hadn't actually expected this. A huge room, filled with industrial appliances that cost more than his house, everything shiny and squeaky clean. He had at least expected to have cooking as a subject. It'd be useful. But no, it was only used by the cooking and the bakery clubs. And, of course, in cases like his. He sighed and put on one of the aprons by the door. He should have gotten used to all these exaggeratedly large installations by now. They had decided to work there, as they wouldn't need to buy anything and there would be more than enough room to work. Kris hadn't arrived from practice yet, so he took the chance to look around the place. Not long after, he found a shelf filled with books. Cooking books. He picked one called "Baking for Dummies", opened it and begun taking the ingredients for a basic chocolate chips velvet cake. He had seen him mother prepare it thousands of times, and was pretty sure he had the hang of it. 

Finally, Kris got into the room. Sulking. Tao still couldn't believe how he felt every time he saw him. It was both the worst and the best feeling on earth. Like drowning in a pool filled with chocolate or being stabbed by a rose. At least he thought that was pretty close. He felt warm all over, his vision sharpened and he couldn't breathe. Kris was so gorgeous, so perfect, it made his heart skip a beat. His smile could literally light up a whole world. Tao's world. And he looked way too endearing for someone who always tried to act tough. Getting to uncover little parts of his personality had become one of his favorite things. He loved spending time with him, just talking. It had hurt him knowing that things weren't good at home, that he felt alone. He had wanted to change that, forever.

"What?" Kris asked as he was putting his own apron. Tao shook his head. He hated not being able to talk to him. He hated these stupid fights they kept getting into. He hated not being angry at all with this stupid, stubborn guy whose pride had gotten them into all these trouble. 

Turns out, baking was quite more difficult than what they had thought. Ten minutes later, Tao faced a bowl of disgusting looking batter. If you could even call it that way. Kris didn't look any better. His face was covered with flour and his apron was filled with egg yolk. How had he even managed to get himself so dirty? 

"Fuck!" he had dropped an egg as he was about to crack it. So, there was the explanation. The guy was clumsy. Surprisingly so for someone so generally good at everything. Tao couldn't help but to burst out laughing, "Shut up," Kris mumbled moodily. He grabbed a handful of flour, throwing it towards Tao's direction. Kris' pout disappeared once he saw the shocked look on Tao's face, and instead he lowered his guard and laughed too.

"Oh. I've already told you you didn't want me as an enemy," Tao grinned, deciding the batter had a much more useful purpose than being baked. Not long after, there wasn't a spot around them not covered with food. It had been quite even. Kris' apron was covered with batter, the same as his face. And Tao was pretty sure the paste he had on his hair would take really long to get out. They both stood in the middle of the battle field, breathing heavily and beaming. Kris was trying to clean his face with a cloth. He was making everything worst, and Tao couldn't believe someone like him could even exist. 

"Here, let me help you," he approached him, and the next thing he knew Kris' arms were around his waist, preventing him from falling after slipping on the filthy floor. They were close. So close. Tao could feel his breath warm against his cheek. He lowered his gaze towards Kris' lips, the sudden urge to kiss him invading him. He felt him shift slightly, making him gain full consciousness of their position. Heat crept up his face, as Kris' eyes widened and he blushed. Tao tried to free himself as calmly as possible, failing miserably. Once again he almost ended up on the floor, but managed to keep his balance. When he looked up, Kris was staring at him with an amused look, his face still a little red. He made Tao ache.

"Uh... Thanks."

"Yeah, sure. Okay."

They stayed in silence for a whole minute, unsure of what to do. Tao really wanted to do it. To close the distance between them and kiss him like there was no tomorrow. And he thought Kris wanted that too. But at the same time... What if he had been misreading the signs all along? That would only make things awkward between them, and Tao really liked him and would hate to see them fall apart. Kris' phone rang, startling Kris and taking him out of his thoughts.

"Lay. Yeah. Really? Oh, thanks! Right, see you guys!" he hanged up, grinning at Tao, "All the guys are coming here to help. They felt sorry for abandoning us," he smirked.

Less than five minutes later, the kitchen was filled with noisy guys. They had decided that it was useless to keep the competition going. Instead, they would join forces to complete the task. Both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol ended up having quite a bit of experience in the kitchen, instructing everyone of what to do. Two hours later, a dozen cakes were in the oven, and the boys sat around waiting for them to finish baking. It was a really nice feeling. Having all his friends, sitting together on the dirty counters, joking around and eating the leftover goods. Having Kris besides him, his back relaxed against the wall and smiling fondly at the scene. 

"I think we're better off as a team, right?" Tao beamed, the homey feeling washing over him. He turned to look at Kris, to find him gazing intently at him.

"What's wrong? Is there something on my face?"

Kris' eyes opened wide, seemingly getting out of his trance, "N-No. Just. Sorry," he lowered his gaze. He looked so young and unguarded every time he did so.

Tao tilted his head, trying to figure him out, "You tend to stare a lot, don't you?" he let out a little breathlessly.

"Actually, just you..." He said it so lowly that if Tao hadn't been so close he would have missed it. He wanted to believe he had actually said it, he really did. His attempt to put his thoughts in order died the moment he felt a warm, soft hand land on his forearm. Every nerve of his body seemed to react to the touch. He raised his eyes to meet Kris', soft and fierce. His eyes on him made Tao's heart beat pick up and his breath become shallow. His mind was clouded, he couldn't seem to understand what was going on. Kris leaned forward, and Tao finally got it. He drew a breath, leaning forward too, feeling Kris' heat surround him. He could almost taste his lips, tender and warm, safe.

"Hey guys, I think we should clean up. The cakes are almost done and the school is about to close," a deep voice echoed.

No. This couldn't be happening. Not now. He blinked and drew apart from Kris, feeling cold immediately. Kris winced almost imperceptibly. They turned to their friends, who were gaping at them.

"Come on. Chanyeol is right, we need to clean," Kris jumped from the counter and begun piling the dishes. Not long after they were done, the cakes in the fridge ready to be delivered to the girl and kitchen squeaky clean again. As they were leaving, Tao caught Kris' eyes. He smiled warmly, and Tao couldn't keep his own bright smile from his face. He couldn't wait for the festival to begin. 

A/N: Hey everybody! We thought we'd come around to thank you so much for all the comments, subscriptions and upvotes. They made our day! We honestly thought nobody would even read it, and don't worry, we don't plan on abandoning it any time soon. So, keep reading and telling us what you think. If you wanna talk to us, we practically spend our day on Tumblr, so feel free to stop by. See you next Friday!


	10. Chapter 10

After much planning, one of his favorite days of the year arrived. Around him, a couple of his friends and teammates were practically sleepwalking, but early morning air, especially on mild Saturdays, always seemed to improve his mood. As Kris went through the different tents soon to be packed with people, he couldn't help but to smile. The school looked completely different. It was expected, as thousands of tents and stands stood everywhere. Several students were buzzing around, getting ready for the festival doors to open in a couple of hours. On the front yard, the food tents were already filling the air with sweet, cloying flavorings. Inside the school, most of the classrooms were occupied with the most varying and bizarre expositions, ranging from a quite promising karaoke set to a stand with puppets that looked like Kris had made them. And that was not really a good thing. But it was a nice gesture, he guessed. The huge backyard was perfect for the event. One side was occupied with a bouncy castle and the other was filled with several tables, set with the most varied board games. Right in the center, a stack of newly cut firewood waited for the event to finish that night. After the doors were closed, all the students gathered around it, counting the earned money they would later send off to charity, watching the fireworks show and sharing the day's events with their friends. It was Kris's absolutely favorite part of the day. He had been sort of melancholic after realizing it would be the last festival he would help preparing before his graduation, but just then a little, soft voice inside his head reminded him it would also be the first one with Tao. The tingles that realization left were enough to boost his mood up.

As he entered the gym, he took his time to take everything that was going on in. He hadn't really paid attention to what those boys from the day before were going to do. He didn't even care about the space itself. He just didn't want to share the place with anyone else but Tao. It seemed that one of them was going to do a trivia-like contest, while the other consisted just of paintings created by the students to sell. Most of his own team was already working, setting up the box that would later be filled with water and taking out the plushies they'd give out as prizes.

Finally, he got to see the team he really cared about. Tao's. But when he turned to their side, the only thing visible was a huge black curtain, covering the whole side. Besides a small opening that was apparently used as a door, a big, handmade sign, decorated with swords, announced the play's title. Inside the curtain, he could hear whispers and giggles as the guys were dressing up and rehearsing for their play.

After a couple of hours of hard work, everything was finally ready. The wushu team left the curtain, and... And Kris couldn't breathe. He couldn't pay attention to his friends dressed up as warriors, made up and everything. He could only see Tao. A very shirtless, attractive Tao. The memories from the evening before resurged, and no. He couldn't stand staying there anymore. Lately, he was having a hard time keeping all his feelings in check. First of all, he had had to run alongside a sweaty, gorgeous, smiling Tao for almost an hour. It had taken all his self-control not to grab him and kiss him right there. Then, the evening before they had been so fucking close. He couldn't think about it now, not when everyone was so close. He tried to compose himself before they were surrounded by visitors. As he returned to his place, he wasn't oblivious to Tao's confused expression. But there was no time to explain now.

Just like that, the doors were opened. Chen said a gloomy farewell to the group, before unwillingly climbing up and sitting on top of the box. His contrite expression didn't help getting his friends to stop mocking him. Yeah, he deserved every bit of it, after pulling prank after prank on them, but still Kris felt a little bit bad for him. Luckily, the day was warm, so at least he wouldn't be cold.

Barely ten minutes later, Chen was already completely drenched. Their game had become pretty popular. They were taking turns to guard it, and while they were free they roamed around the fair. When Kris, Sehun, and Kai's turns were over, they decided to go check out their friends' play. He couldn't remember anything. Maybe... There was a village? With... People who needed to be saved? He couldn't even remember what his friends' roles were. He could only remember Tao. How he talked with his endearing accent. How he moved. How he breathed. He had to have him. He needed it like air. So, he finally made up his mind. He would tell him about his feelings. How corny was that? But he knew he liked Tao. He was in love with him. And he was pretty sure Tao liked him back. Just the idea made his heart flutter embarrassingly. 

As time went by, the visitors started to lower, so both teams decided to take a one-hour break, just to wander around and visit the different stands. Kris walked down the different corridors alongside Tao, trying to avoid staring at him creepily often. But he couldn't help but to notice everyone else's eyes on him. Yeah, he knew Tao looked breathtaking in his outfit, long, black pants hanging low on his hips, bare torso and beautiful smile. If he could, Kris would stare at him every single moment of his life. Heat radiated from him, inviting Kris to lean in, to touch, to feel. His perfect muscles, the perfect abs that had enchanted him since the day they met, everything about him so inviting. But he didn't like to share it. At all. He wanted to cover him, to take him home just for himself. He looked so lovable, even when he and Kai were unceremoniously attacking one of the stands where the cake they had baked was. According to the girl they had talked to a couple of evenings ago, who was the tennis club manager, they were selling great. And actually they were pretty good, despite Kris don't necessarily liking overly sweet things. But Tao made everything so incredibly appealing. He didn't seem to ever get full, trying food after food at an amazing speed. 

It all begun with Joonmyeon's innocent question. But Kris just had to be that stupid. Sometimes he couldn't believe it himself. 

"So, how much do you think we earned?" the boy had commented as they were preparing to take the games down. The festival had already ended and everyone was getting ready to sit around the bonfire. They had decided it would be easier to just help each other out with both presentations, just to make everything easier. 

"Oh, I don't know," Tao started cheerfully, "but I think we were quite successful. I didn't expect so many people around here." 

"Well,” Kris huffed, still feeling a bit bugged by all those eyes on his Tao, "that's just because all the girls wanted to see you shirtless. Not that I blame them," although he actually did. 

Their friends got silent, until someone chuckled and everyone else ended up laughing too. Everyone except Tao. 

"You sound as if we hadn't prepared anything," he frowned at him, "And look who's talking. The only reason everyone even came to see you was to know what the awesome basketball team would do." 

"And to see Chen soaking," someone coughed behind him, earning some snickers and a hateful glare from the boy in question. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kris retorted, feeling just a bit exasperated, "Everyone loves those kind of games. It has nothing to do with it being ours." 

Tao rolled his eyes, looking quite fond for someone who was supposed to be in the middle of a discussion. Around them, a small, playful debate had formed between their friends. 

"Well, Tao's abs really made the play worth it." 

"Yeah, but the play is also pretty cool. See, there is this village..." 

"Yeah, yeah. I watched it. But our game is fine too. Entertaining" 

"Actually, I just played hoping to see Chen fall. No offence." 

"Don't worry. As soon as I'm, out of these clothes I'll get my revenge"

As they kept discussing about sales, Tao spotted a bag of leftover plushies sitting just by the game. 

"See? You didn't even get them taken," he said grabbing the bag, "I'm pretty sure it wasn't even a real game. Probably Chen didn't even get wet." 

Kris furrowed his eyebrows, smirking internally. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Chen interrupted, standing in front of Tao, "Look at me. I'm fucking drenched, what do you mean I didn't fall?" 

Tao patted his back as everyone laughed. 

"If you want, feel free to try it yourself," Kris offered innocently. 

Tao seemed torn. But Kris already knew what he would say. They were very much alike. Tao nodded, and his friends helped him getting up on his seat. Kyungsoo was asking him to reconsider it, as Chen was considerably smaller than him, and he could get easily hurt. Tao ignored him, proud preventing him from listening. 

Kris took the ball in his hands, turning it around boastfully, "You know, you can still turn down if you want," he smirked. 

Tao narrowed his eyes at him. "Just do it." 

And that was all he needed to hear. With every bit of leftover strength he had, Kris aimed and threw the ball. It hit the mark. And Tao fell. He fell so strongly from the impact that the machine fell behind him, breaking the glass container and spilling all the water. Shit. He should have thought about it. It was a game prepared for kids. Not for idiotic basketball players to mess around with. Panic flooded him the second of silence after the impact. He-he couldn't move. Everyone rushed towards Tao, who slowly came out from under the pile of broken glass and trash. Kris quickly scanned his body for injuries, spotting only a couple of shallow scratches. And he breathed out. Only it came out as a chuckle. Around him, his friends started mocking Tao slightly, mostly from relief. He was dripping wet, frowning and scowling. Kyungsoo handled him a towel he'd gotten for Chen, helping him get up. Tao pouted slightly, and the next thing Kris knew was that he was giggling hysterically. He felt as if his heart had stopped for a couple of minutes. It reminded him of the day when Tao had broken his nose, to the promise he had made himself. He would never see Tao get hurt again. And now he had. Because of him. He tried to even out his breath. 

"I told you it worked, Panda," he grabbed a toy that had gotten his attention earlier that evening, "Here, have this," he handed him a panda plushie, earning a warning glare from Kyungsoo. He should have listened to it. It wasn't until he felt something hit him softly he realized what an idiot he had been. The plushie laid at his feet as Tao left the gym.

"Seriously, Kris?" Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, "Well done." 

He stood on his spot, feeling his hands numb. 

"Hey, wait a second. Aren't you going after him?" he spluttered after seeing the other boy continued disarming their stage. 

"Why would I? I haven't done anything." 

And he was right, of course. But Kris couldn't- he just- He was an idiot. All of this just because he was jealous. And he didn't have any right over Tao. 

Lay approached him, a reproachfully look on his face, "You know you'll never get him like that, don't you?" Kris avoided his eyes, "You should go find him. He is wet and it's getting colder." 

And he was right. Temperature had dropped, as they were still on spring, and he wouldn't forgive himself if Tao got sick because of him. 

"But he is gonna hit me," he whimpered pathetically.

"Well, you deserve it. You need to get down from your high horse before you go get him."

Kris stared at the door. 

"Just... Do something with your feelings. It's getting on my nerves," He smiled as he left to get something to clean the mess they'd made.

"Shut up," Kris grumbled half heatedly, face burning.

He jogged towards the backyard, looking around, trying to find him. Finally, his eyes set on a shaky figure sat far from the starting bonfire. As he approached, he could see the Panda's gloomy look, big, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. Kris hated himself, knowing it was all because of his stupid behavior. Once he spotted him, Tao quickly wiped off his tears, hiding his face on the knees he was holding up. Kris approached him and slid besides him. 

"What do you want?" the boy asked tiredly. 

"Here," Kris took off his sweater, handling it to him and getting a puzzled look, "You are shirtless and soaked, you'll catch a cold." 

The boy shook his head, frowning slightly, but didn't flinch once Kris placed it on his shoulders. Kris got closer to him, needing to do something to keep him warm, to keep him safe. Tao didn't move away. Looking up at the sky, Kris felt a pang of nostalgia. 

"You know, they'll set off the fireworks soon. It kind of reminds me of China." 

Tao turned to look at him, swollen eyes wide open. He nodded slightly, a sad look in his face. Kris couldn't see him like that anymore. 

"Look, Panda, I'm so, so, so sorry. You could have hurt yourself badly, and I shouldn't have mocked you. But please, stop crying," he begged. 

"What are you talking about!? I wasn't crying!" 

"Yeah, right." 

Tao hugged his legs once again, burying his face between them. Why? Why did it have to be so complicate? Why couldn't he seem to talk to him, to make him feel better? A suddenly muffled, sorrowful sob came from the boy, who was shaking, trying to repress it. Kris felt his chest tight, he couldn't figure it out. Why was he still crying? Was he hurt because of him? 

"Tao, Tao. Are you hurt? Please, talk to me, why are you still crying? What can I do? Please." 

Silence enveloped them after that. Kris sighted and leaned back against the wall. Nothing could be heard besides an occasional sniffle sound and the cracking of the fire, further away. 

"Why do you keep hurting me?" a weak, thick voice asked besides him. He raised his head, eyes piercing, "Why do you hate me so much? What have I done to you?" He shouted, a desperate tone on his voice. Once again tears streamed down his face, and Tao wiped them away, sighting with frustration. 

Kris lowered his head. He didn't know. Why did he keep hurting him, when the only thing he wanted in the world was to keep him safe, forever? 

"I-I bother you to get your attention," he swallowed, looking back up at him. Tao turned around, bemusedly, and Kris took in his beautiful eyes, red and puffy, and his swollen lips, slightly open and flushed, tempting. He felt pulled towards them, needing them from the bottom of his heart. And then, they were kissing. Tao stiffened, breath becoming hitched. Kris sneaked a hand around his waist, pulling him closer, flushed against him. And then Tao kissed him back. This was the only way Kris had to tell him everything he wanted to, what his words would never be able to. The only way to answer his questions. The only way to make him stop crying. Something inside him loosened up in that moment, as he felt Tao's soft, sweet lips against his. It was everything he had thought it’d be and more. He wanted to stay like that forever, flushed against him, tasting him, feeling his warmth. But they couldn't, and heartbreakingly soon, they had to draw apart. They stayed close, breathing hard, foreheads joined together. Kris finally found his voice, a little bit shaky, but it would do. 

"Panda," he smiled, feeling the word tingle on his lips, "If I don't bother you, I don't have any reason to talk to you. I- I know it's not true, but... But I want to be with you. I wanted to talk to you, to make you feel something." 

Tao got away from him, and Kris felt his heart stop as he spotted the confusion on his face. What if he had been wrong? Maybe he had misread the signals. Maybe he wasn't even gay. Maybe he had rushed to conclusions, not thinking about the consequences of kissing him. Maybe he had already lost Tao. Panic flooded him, as he took away his eyes from him. 

"What are you trying to tell me, Kris?" he raised his head after hearing the boy's tone, slightly hopeful. His eyes shone, full and breathtaking. Soothing Kris, making every fear disappear. 

"I'm telling you that I like you. Silly Panda." he felt the weight of his words as soon as they left his lips. All his fears rushed back, "I-I'm sorry, Tao. I didn't mean to-"

He had his breath knocked out of him as he felt their lips together again. Despite having touched them only once before, they felt right, like they belonged together. Like Tao's lips were made for him. After just one second, they were gone, and Tao was carefully letting him go. Kris couldn't believe it. He felt that he was going to burst form... something. 

"I like you too, Kris. Like, a lot," he took a deep breath, as Kris tried to steady his heartbeat enough to hear him, "And I'm sorry too. I was also wrong, I shouldn't have provoked you. Sorry."

Hesitantly, Kris raised his hand to touch his face, his heart expanding when Tao leaned into the touch.

"It's fine. No need to apologize," he thumbed his lips softly, "Now, come on. You'll get ill." He got up, taking Tao's hand in his. Kris couldn't help but to smile at how perfectly they fitted together, at how perfectly everything was. Tao smiled too. On their way back to the gym, they could see their friends still cleaning up. Lay ran pass them, grinning madly after spotting his joint hands. Tao blushed, letting Kris' hand go. Kris immediately felt the loss of it, of its softness and warmth, but he smiled encouragingly at him. He hadn't planned on telling anyone what had happened unless Tao wanted him to, and he knew the boy would still be shy and that it'd take a while for him to be comfortable with it. Afterwards, everything felt dreamlike. They help their friends, who Kris spotted throwing sneaky glances at them, and then got dressed. They were one of the last teams to join the bonfire, so they both managed to stay at the back of the crowd, joining his hands quietly. They talked, they laughed, they ate. They watched the fireworks. Well, Tao watched the fireworks. Kris watched him. They talked a little more. Then everything was over, and their friends begun heading home. After everyone was gone, Kris told Tao he would walk him home. He couldn't let him go just yet.

When they held hands again, Kris felt as if an ache he didn't know he had had suddenly been soothed. They walked side to side, talking about everything. The day, their friends, the fireworks and the bonfire. About the money they'd raised and even about their stupid fight. Now it seemed a fond memory. A few blocks away from his house, Tao stopped on his tracks, looking suddenly troubled.

"I just want to make something clear," he gulped, "What are we? You know... now?" Kris wanted to hug him so badly. Just because he was freaking adorable, "I guess... a couple?"

"You are worried about the 'gay couple' thing," Kris smiled at him, making him open his eyes wide, face burning. Kris chuckled, patting his head consolingly, "You'll get used to it, Panda," he pecked his lips.

They kept walking until they reached Tao's house.

"I'll call you, then," he pointed at his cellphone, smiling brightly. Kris returned his smile and nodded.

"Don't make plans for tomorrow, okay?" he mocked him. Tao's smile widened. The boy was about to walk into his house when he turned around and kissed a surprised Kris.

"Goodnight!" he shouted as he got to the door, waving him goodbye.

And then, Kris knew that that had been the first of many happy days to come. Together.


	11. Chapter 11

He stared at his reflection on the mirror. It was hard to believe that, after everything that had happened that day, he still looked pretty much the same. Tao watched himself smile, the warm sensation he had felt for most of the evening still there. Everything had seemed so unreal, yet so perfectly right. It was actually quite amusing that they had gotten together after a stupid fight. It was so... them. 

After the bet, he had felt horrible. He wasn't particularly mad because he had fallen, nor because he had lost. It was mainly because Kris had laughed. They had spent the whole day together, every spare moment they had. And Tao had come to believe that Kris hadn't regretted their almost kiss from the evening before. But after that, all his doubts returned. What if Kris didn't actually want to be with him? What if all that time he had just been misreading everything? 

But apparently, he had not. As soon as their lips touched, Tao felt something settle inside his chest, easing a pain he didn't know he had. He was still slightly insecure about their relationship, seeing as it was the first time he dated someone, and that that someone was a guy. Back in China, he had gone out with a girl once. By the end of their date, Tao had kissed her. And he had felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. That had been his first and last date with the girl. Or with anyone else, for the matter. 

But with Kris, everything had been different right from the start. Since the moment they had set eyes on each other, the spark had been there. They had talked a lot, and he knew Kris. He understood him. He liked him. Really liked him. 

He startled when he heard his phone beeping, showing an incoming message. He skipped towards his bed, grabbing the phone. 

From: Kris

'Look.'

Tao opened the attached photo, feeling the warmth spread again after realizing it was a photo of himself, gaping at the fireworks that evening. It was a really beautiful photo.

To: Kris

'When did you take it?' 

From: Kris

'You were looking at the fireworks.'

Well, he already knew that. It made him feel kind of soft inside, but most of all it was embarrassing. What if anyone else saw it?

To: Kris

'Agg, erase it! It's embarrassing.'

From: Kris

'Don't think so, Panda.'

Tao suppressed a small laughter. As he was about to reply with a very convincing angry emoticon, another message appeared in front of him.

From: Kris

'Try to erase it tomorrow. Pick you up at 12, ok?'

His smile widened.

To: Kris

'Sure. Where're we going?'

From: Kris

'Lunch and walk around the city?'

To: Kris

'Perfect. I'll wait you here.'

From: Kris

'Goodnight, Panda.'

God, he was so corny. Not that he was complaining.

To: Kris

'Goodnight, Kris.'

He couldn't help but to grin at the screen, clutching the phone against his chest. That would be the very best day of his life. 

Or maybe not. 

He wasn't even fully awake when he felt it. The numb, persistent pain. His head felt heavy and clouded, and as soon as he took a deep breath a sting on his throat made him wince. No. Not today. Please. He cursed himself for staying outside, dripping wet, the night before. Although he didn't regret it. He groaned and finally opened his eyes, fumbling for his watch. It was still fairly early, and with another grumble he dropped back to bed. 

It wasn't until he felt a cold hand on his forehead that he realized he had fallen asleep. He jumped from his bed, startling his mom. He swallowed as the sudden movement made his headache worse, and his mother frowned. 

"Are you okay, honey? Come here, let me take your temperature." 

Tao sat back down. Knowing her, she wouldn't leave him alone until she knew he was fine. Luckily, he was barely warm, not even enough for it to be even considered a fever. 

"Why don't you stay in bed today?" she looked excessively worried over a cold , "I don't want you to get worse." 

"No!" his tone came out a little bit aggressive, and his mother raised and eyebrow. "I mean, I have somewhere to be. And it's just a cold. Don't worry." 

"Are you sure?" she insisted. Tao smiled reassuringly and nodded. 

She seemed to have sensed something was going on that morning. She smiled warmly, handling him a painkiller and wishing him good luck before leaving the house, letting him know she'd be running errands the whole day.

Feeling weirdly jittery, he begun to get ready for his date. With Kris. He was going on a date with Kris. He had kissed Kris the night before. And Kris had kissed him back. He still couldn't believe it. After he woke up, the day before had seemed unreal. A precious, sweet dream. It had taken him a couple of minutes to convince himself all that had actually happened. 

He took even longer than usual to get ready. He liked to take care of his appearance, to look attractive. But today it seemed impossible. He was paler than usual, his dark circles even darker. He finished getting ready and glanced one last time at the mirror. He looked good. Well, as good as someone with a cold could.

Five minutes before twelve, he grabbed his phone, wallet and house keys, stuffing them on his jacket's pockets. He sat on his kitchen table, fiddling anxiously. After what felt like hours, but was barely four minutes later, the bell rang. Tao rushed to the door, swinging it open. He was then face to face with a smiling, gorgeous-looking Kris. Tao beamed. But not even a second later, Kris' smile was gone, replaced by a worried frown. 

"Are you okay, Panda?" 

Oh, right. The cold. He nodded.

"Yeah, it's just a cold," he rolled his eyes fondly, closing the door behind him and finally taking a step forward. He grabbed the other boy's hand, squeezing it tightly. 

"Sure?" Kris held his other hand up against Tao's forehead. Then his eyes widened and his hand dropped, face turning and endearing shade of pink. Tao suppressed a chuckle as he turned around and begun walking, pulling Kris besides him. 

They had already walked a couple of blocks when he noticed his hand was still on Kris'. Blushing, he attempted to remove it, only to have the older boy tightening his grip. Tao looked up at him. 

"What? It's nice." Kris beamed. 

Yes, it was. He had expected the date to be awkward, honestly. But talking to Kris, being around him, holding his hand felt so incredibly natural. Like they were made for it.

A few minutes later, they had arrived to their destination. The pizza place. Tao felt his stomach grumble. After all, he was usually hungry, and he hadn't had breakfast yet. Kris just chuckled, pulling him inside. They managed to find a pretty isolated table at the back of the place. A surge of something very similar to happiness washed over him when they decided to order the same thing. Onion and cheese pizza. Sweet enough for Tao and spicy for Kris. It made him feel that it was an accurate representation of their relationship. They were different, but saw eye to eye on the important matters. Tao ended up eating most of the pizza by himself, just listening to the other boy talk. He could hear him talk for the rest of his life. It had been hard to get there, but once Kris had started to open up with him, it had been wonderful. They talked about the most random topics. He learnt about how Kris had met Lay, about his family. It was a sour topic for him, but he didn't seem to mind talking about it with Tao. He, on the other side, felt special. Kris trusted him. He also talked about his family. It hurt a bit. He hadn't told anyone anything about it, and it felt weird hearing himself say those things out loud. Kris' expression made his heart ache in the good way. He was just too warm and comforting. 

When they finished their meal, Tao suggested splitting up the bill. Kris gave him a fake hurt look, paying everything by himself. Tao frowned, pouting slightly. It was pretty amusing seeing Kris' reaction to his expression. His whole face relaxed and broke into a huge grin.

"If you keep making that face, I swear I'll want pay for every bill ever," he snickered.

Tao narrowed his eyes at him, smiling teasingly afterwards.

"Idiot. But thanks"

"You're welcome T-A-O," Kris pronounced every letter of his name teasingly, taking his hand and leading the way out of the place.

"And now... dessert?" 

Kris startled, widening his eyes at him, "What? Are you still hungry?"

Tao rolled his eyes, "I'm always hungry. Especially for desserts," he smiled wistfully.

Then, and idea crossed his mind. What if...? He looked back up at Kris, who was still staring at him, and attempted a cute pout. Once again, he rejoiced at the effect he had on Kris, dragging him towards an ice-cream stand. He ordered a chocolate one, rushing forward to pay before Kris could even attempt to take his wallet out. The older boy chuckled at his cheerful expression. He just loved chocolate, okay? Anything sweet, actually, but that was his main weakness. As they walked away from the stand, Tao realized Kris hadn't bought anything for himself. 

"Are you sure you don't want one? It's really good," he insisted. 

Kris pondered it for a moment, a mischievous glint crossing his eyes as he took a step forward, gingerly licking the ice-cream from Tao's upper lip away. The boy took a step backwards, partially because they were on a public place and someone could see them, but also because, once again, they were on a public place. He couldn't just grab Kris' shirt and kiss him senseless. And that small brush had made his whole body tingle with want. He was so gone. 

Kris smirked, as if reading his thoughts, and pulled him to keep walking. Tao was still smiling when they got to the cinema. They'd decided it was a good idea, it being a first date cliché and everything, so they stood outside, watching the billboards. 

"Should we watch that one?" Kris pointed towards a cheesy romcom, with way too much pink in the poster for it to be good. Tao practically laughed at him.

"Don't be an idiot. We're not girls." Kris smiled at the choice of words, quickly dismissing the choice.

They ended up queuing to see a much more promising-looking one. It was about samurais or something like that, and it looked bloody and violent enough to catch their attention. As Kris was fumbling for his wallet, Tao heard a couple of girls get in the line behind them. A while later, hushed whispers caught his attention.

"Look at his back! Oh my god."

"And he is really tall. He looks like a prince."

Tao glanced behind his shoulder, only to find the girls mesmerized by no other than Kris. His Kris. Jealousy ran through his body. He hated himself for it. He already knew the effect the other boy had on everyone, after all he had experienced it first hand at school. Besides that, Kris was on a date. With him. So logically, he had nothing to worry about. But he did. He frowned, looking straight forward. Finally, Kris finished getting their tickets, and turned around, smile waving at his partner's contrite expression.

"What's wrong?" 

Tao seemed to be taken out of a trance, "What? Oh, nothing." 

A muffled giggle was heard behind them, making Kris turn around, a snicker appearing on his face after noticing what the issue was. He took Tao's hand in his, squeezing slightly, reassuringly. From the corner of his eye, Tao spotter the girls' shocked looks, and couldn't help the low chuckle that left his lips. The other boy smiled down at him as they entered the theater. 

Actually, it ended up being a crappy movie, not that Tao cared about it. It was quite amusing the fact that nobody in the movie's production had the slightest idea about how martial arts worked. Did they honestly think it'd be that easy to cut someone's head off with a sword? And what the fuck with the characters named after food? He got it, not everyone could know Japanese. Hell, didn't know a word either. But it was pretty damn obvious. He mentioned it to Kris, who seemed more interested in the conversation than in the movie. Luckily for him, Tao couldn't seem to stop talking. It was a habit that drove everyone around him crazy, but he couldn't help it. He caught Kris' eyes on him several times, feeling a current go through him every time. Tension between them seemed to be growing bigger, asphyxiating. He tried paying attention to the movie, he really did. Despite being so bad, it was quite entertaining, and he was sure that if he was by himself he would be with his eyes glued to the screen. But he couldn't concentrate at all when Kris was just a few inches away, still clutching his hand, rubbing circles on it absentmindedly. When the lights were finally turned on, he was feeling quite dizzy. And it had nothing to do with his cold. Stretching his sore muscles slightly, he finally dared to look back at Kris, a smile tugging on his lips. 

"So, what are we doing now, Captain?" he teased, the older boy smiling at the nickname. 

"I don't know. To the park?" he took his hand once again, a new gesture that had become so familiar for them in such a short time. 

To his surprise, Kris led them to the hidden spot where Tao liked to meditate. They sat, face to face, on the small bench. He had always wondered how could two people talk to each other for hours without getting bored. Now he understood. Their attempt to play "Twenty Questions" led to them to talk about anything and everything.

Kris ran in the mornings.

Tao had been practicing wushu since he was five.

Kris spoke four languages.

Tao could barely speak two.

Kris wasn't sure about what career to choose. 

Tao didn't want to think about it.

Kris' parents owned and important company. He wasn't sure of what. And didn't actually care.

Tao's mom was a businesswoman, his dad did something related to numbers?

Yifan was Kris' real name. He didn't like it, so when he met Lay his friend begun calling him Kris and it stuck.

Taozi. That's what Tao liked to be called. His father called him like that. Thinking about him made him really homesick. 

He told Kris that when his parents had divorced he had moved in with his mother only because she needed him more, especially when she had to move to another country. But he missed his dad, despite talking to each other every day. It made his mom sad, and he hated seeing her like that, but he needed to feel close with his dad too. 

As the evening progressed, they decided to wander around the city. Tao hadn't had much time to get to know it, as he had been busy since the day he moved in. It seemed that they had more things in common than what he had initially believed. Both of them were drawn to a clothes store, and spent quite a long time looking around and trying things on. Of course, Tao had noticed that Kris looked unfairly good for their date, but he hadn't stopped to consider him someone interested in fashion. 

Not long after, Tao spotted a small coffee shop. The sun had begun to set, despite it being still quite early, and the cozy shop radiated warmth and comfort. He really adored those sort of places. Mainly because usually they meant pastries, but also because he felt a little bit at home. Eyeing his face, Kris pulled him towards a small table at the back of the place. Surprisingly, it was mainly deserted, despite it being Sunday. Without giving it too much thought, Tao ordered a chocolate frappe, frowning slightly when his partner order a black coffee. He wasn't particularly fond of them, as they were strong and sour. Kris chuckled when he told him so. 

"Of course you wouldn't like them. You only like extremely sweet stuff," he leaned a little bit closer above the table, making Tao's breath speed up, "Maybe that's why your lips are so sweet."

The boy felt himself blush, and sight inwardly, averting his look. How could he react like this to such corny comments? He just wanted to throw his arms around Kris and stay there forever. He distracted himself taking a sip from his newly arrived drink.

"Yours aren't bad either."

He raised his eyes after not getting any answer. Kris was staring at him, an affectionate look on his eyes. He couldn't take it any longer. His heart felt as if it would leave his chest any time soon, and he felt like melting or bursting in flames or everything at the same time. He looked back at his drink, avoiding the intensity of the stare. And that's when he felt something soft and cool against his burning cheek. His skin tingled where Kris' lips had touch it, and he looked back at the smug boy incredulously. Once he got over his momentary shock, he looked around, making sure nobody had seen them. Kris was still smiling when he turned back to him accusingly.

"What the hell, Kris?" he hissed. He wasn't really angry, more like slightly paranoid, "Don't do that in public! Someone could've seen us!" The other boy grinned, completely remorseless. Now Tao felt weird. Like, crazy in love weird. Like he finally had Kris, after all the doubts and tension and hurt but wasn't able to touch him and kiss him whenever he wanted just because of what random strangers would think of them. 

When they finished their orders, they decided to head back to Tao's house. He didn't want the day to end. It had been perfect in so many ways. But it was already pretty dark, and he wouldn't want his mom to forbid him to go out again just after their first date. First of many, he hoped. They laced their fingers on the walk back, not wanting to let go so soon. They slowed down to a stop when they got close to his house. They faced each other. Tao already missed him. He was so in love it kind of made him want to punch himself. But Kris' look made him think that maybe he wasn't the only one.

"Did you have a good time, my Panda?" his sole presence so close to him made him shiver.

"Of course!" he blurted, "I'd been waiting it for such a long time," he lowered his head, cheeks burning embarrassingly.

Then, he felt himself being pulled forwards, his chest coming into contact with Kris', whose arms embraced him warmly, protectively. 

"Believe me, I've waited more," Tao felt hot breath against his ear, making him shudder slightly.

The older boy pulled away, kissing his cheek and leaving a trace of small pecks along his jaw until he reached the corner of his mouth. He paused there, waiting for Tao's green light. A surprised sound left Kris' mouth when he lunched forward, grabbing his shirt's front and pulling him down for a kiss. The whole day Tao had had to restrain himself, to avoid doing just what he wanted to. And he couldn't take it any longer. Desperately, he licked and kissed and tasted the other's barely open lips, needing more of them, more of Kris. The sudden urge left him, leaving only the need. He brushed their lips together, feeling their texture, their warmth. Feeling so close to him. Only when his heart and lungs couldn't take it any longer he slowly separated their lips, joining their foreheads together. Breathing heavily, he could feel Kris' lips stretched into a smile against his skin, already missing them. 

When he felt his breath was as steady as it could get around Kris, he looked up at him sheepishly, "Sorry. I- hum- probably shouldn't have done that. You'll get ill too."

The other boy was now serious, although a small smile tugged the corner of his mouth. He pecked Tao's lips one, two, three times. It took all Tao's self-control not to kiss him back. 

"I don't care. At all," he licked his own lips, smiling back at him, "Sweet. As expected."

Tao giggled gleefully. Turning around, he opened the door, grinning, "See you tomorrow, Captain. Don't you dare get sick."

"See you tomorrow, Panda," Kris waved goodbye, smiling the most gorgeous smile Tao had ever seen.

Closing the door behind him, Tao slid against it, sitting down on the floor. He beamed, trying to convince himself that everything had been real. He wanted to keep every single moment of that day engraved on his memory forever. And knowing he would see Kris every day made everything so much better. 


	12. Chapter 12

He smiled down at his phone. 

From: Panda

'Last night I watched a really cool show on polar bears. So cute' 

Another one. 

From: Panda

'But it ended like at 4, so I'm literally dying here' 

Kris rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe that Tao could be so adorable without even realizing it. They had been going out for almost two weeks, and texting constantly about nothing in particular had become common. Kris, who usually had trouble revealing things from his personal life, found himself sharing them with his boyfriend without being aware of it. His boyfriend. Sometimes he'd find himself smiling alone at the thought, totally head over heels.

Although it had been hard to get used to it at the beginning. Not between them, but at school. They had reached a silent agreement about keeping their relationship secret. That way, people wouldn't bother them, and it'd be safer. But the downside was that Kris had to look at his gorgeous Panda the whole day without being able to do anything. Practices were practically a torture. Every time he turned around, there was Tao, covered in his really thin silky black excuse of a uniform, perfect, and, most importantly, his. And he just really wanted to pin him against the wall and take it off, to kiss him and touch him. That half an hour was both his best dream and his worst nightmare. Usually, it ended with Lay nudging him on the head, begging him to get himself together and stop being so obvious. And he tried, he really did. So far, his best friend was the only one that knew about them. Not that they didn't trust their other friends, but it was kind of awkward to tell them, and besides that, Kris was pretty sure they already knew. As casually as possible, they had started to sit side by side at lunch time. Nobody had seemed to notice it. At least, nobody but their friends. And of course, they'd spent three days teasing them about it and making relationship jokes that weren't actually jokes at all.

The only time they could be themselves freely was at the library. Kris thanked whoever was above that they had picked a hidden table. Neither of them had even thought about it at the time, but now it was really useful. Those couple of weeks, they had hardly done any studying at all. Generally, they sat down, opened their books, and then spent an hour talking and making out. Kris should have felt guilty, after all he was supposed to be tutoring him, but it was quite difficult when he liked it so much. When he liked Tao so much. He liked everything about him. All the feelings he'd had before they'd gotten together were so much stronger. And kissing Tao was hands down the best thing on the world. He wasn't even ashamed of saying it. As soon as their lips touched, his whole body felt like giving up, like his heart couldn't take it any longer. More often than not, it left them breathing hard against each other, wanting more, needing more. Always the same but different every time. 

Later that morning, as he was walking through the school's yard, a girl approached him. Kris knew that look in her eyes. He had had his fair share of it. She stopped in front of him. The girl was part of the plague, he had already seen her chasing him around. She looked a weird mixture of self-confidence and nervousness. Barely two minutes later, she had confessed her undying love for Kris. Well, that was awkward. He had been through this kind of situations several times, but he was still unsure of what his reaction should be. Besides, it was the first time since he and Tao had gotten together. So, as politely and carefully as he could, he turned her down. And then, of course, the fucking tears. Why did they always have to cry? It wasn't as if Kris was the only guy in the world, and they didn't even know the real him. 

"But why, Kris?" she bawled against her handkerchief. 

He shuffled his feet, "The thing is... I'm with someone else. Sorry." 

The girl stopped sobbing for a moment, just to resume barely a second later. Now that Kris came to think about it, she was actually the first person to hear those words directly from him. It was a weird feeling, saying the words aloud. Not a bad one, though.

"With- with someone else?" her high-pitched shriek took him out of his thoughts. He didn't want to come out as insensible, but he was getting tired of her. She kept rambling, "Who is she?"

Kris chuckled, trying his best to keep himself cool, "You don't need to know."

The girl grabbed his arm, shaking him desperately, "Yes, I do need to know! Is- is she pretty? Prettier than me? Cuter? Funnier? Please, Kris!"

As gently as he could, he removed his arm from her grip, patting her hand before turning around and returning to class, smiling inwardly at the thought that, actually, Tao was all that and so much more. 

Of course, by the end of the day every single person in the school knew that Kris freaking Wu was dating someone. Man, news did travel fast. Rumor had it that an international model had caught his eye, and that they had been seeing each other for almost three months. Kris couldn't help but to laugh at them. It wasn't the first time he had hear ridiculous rumors about himself, but this one was the best of all. Although, Tao could pass as an international model any day. With his gorgeous face and deep eyes. And his body... Well, the point being that Kris wasn't missing anything.

Several students approached him the following couple of days, requesting information about the mysterious girl. They weren't even looking in the right gender. His suspicions about their friends already knowing grew when they didn't bother to ask a single question. They just joked about it, sharing the twisted and complicated theories they had heard their classmates discussing. But Kris could see that Tao was beginning to feel hurt about them. When they were finally alone, that evening at the library, he begged Kris to stop the rumors. He looked as if he was about to cry from sheer desperation. He told Kris he was being selfish, letting the rumors spread just because it was easier for him, without taking into account how he felt about them. So he denied them. But just as he thought would happen, nobody even listened to him. As a matter of fact, they got even worst. Then, the whispers said that it was someone from school, and everyone seemed to accept that theory, which only made his life even harder than it already was. Now, he had eyes on him every single moment, what meant he had to be extra careful around Tao. Not that anyone was even considering him, what was the most stupid thing he had ever heard. But at least they were left alone on their tutoring lessons.

After the first couple of weeks, they had gotten back to studying for real. With exams coming up, they couldn't afford to miss a single class. Moreover, they had had to add extra classes, sometimes staying after practice until the school closed or even skipping lunch. And Kris could see how it was taking a toll on the boy's body. Tao looked paler than usual, dark circles deeper, but he was really worried about the exams and wouldn't even consider reducing the lessons. It didn't help that he was also pretty stressed out about wushu. They'd have an important competition, and they couldn't afford to lose. He went through most of his exams easily, but unfortunately, the one he was most worried about was the last one. English. When Tao had realized that both his exam and the competition would be on the same day, he had almost had a panic attack. So, Kris was worried. More than worried, actually. The night before the exam, they'd stayed up on the phone past midnight, revising just in case they'd missed something, although Kris assured him he would be the most prepared student in the whole school. Tao didn't sound convinced, though, and Kris knew he would stay up even later.

It was nerve wracking. He had already gone through this "waiting for Tao to get out of an extremely important exam he really needed to pass" thing a couple of times, but he still felt the weight of every second the clock ticked. Tao had even skipped lunch to get the results as soon as possible, and Kris hadn’t been able to take a bite. The only thing keeping him from actually freaking out was knowing how well prepared the Panda was. And that it’d be their last exam of the term and they could go back to their usual routine. So he took a deep breath, sat down, and waited.

When the boy finally burst in, a huge grin plastered on his face, he felt relief wash over him. Tao lunged himself at him, peppering his face with kisses, thanking him. Kris cackled, grabbing the panda's chin and guiding their lips together. When they finally came into contact, he felt his chest burst, heath expanding throughout his body. Tao traced the outline of his lips with his tongue, making his breath hitch and a shiver run through him. Pulling him closer, he deepened the kiss, groaning lowly when the boy nipped on his lower lip. It was fast, desperate at first. Needy. But then it got slower. And good. Really good. Flushed against each other, tasting the other's lips, once again he felt like they'd become one. He had missed that so much. He couldn't believe how addicted he had gotten to Tao in their short time together, but now he didn’t seem to be able to breath without him close. When they finally drew apart, panting, Kris felt his smile fall. The Panda didn't look healthy at all. He seemed like he could pass out any moment from pure exhaustion. But before he could say anything, the boy cussed at the clock, telling him he was already late for his team's final practice before the competition later that afternoon and running towards the gym after a quick kiss. He stared at his back as he left, a small frown on his face.

As it was a Wednesday, the whole basketball team would be attending the competition, wanting to cheer for their friends. On one side, he was glad they'd all decided to go and show their support. Their friends deserved it. But on the other, he felt that he would have to be hiding his own reactions, even in front of his team. The gym was packed, but for once their reputation was useful, as several students moved away to let them seat. He had to fight the urge to rush towards Tao as soon as he saw him, surrounded by his team. He looked so gorgeous. Apparently, he had a thing for Tao in his uniform, all black silk and muscles, so he had to swallow hard and breath deep to avoid wanting to do things not exactly appropriate when they were surrounded by people.

Despite the smile on his face, Kris could practically feel the exhaustion radiate from his body. He trusted in his abilities, but eyeing the other team, they looked pretty tough and, well, scary. The competition started and his friends cheered as the teams were introduced. Tao had explained that he'd be going up first, as usually the first round was between the teams' captains. Then, another three participants would take turns to fight. Baekhyun would be next, and then Mineun. And boy, that girl sure knew how to fight. The first time he had seen her inside the gym, she looked so sweet and delicate that he honestly thought she wouldn't last a week. Of course, as soon as he saw she practice that changed completely. He was pretty sure she'd win even against one of the toughest guys. Then Joonmyeon would go up, and he knew he'd been training hard, so he wasn't exactly preoccupied. The rest of the team would cheer from the side.

He shouldn't be worried. After all, Tao had mentioned that nowadays most of the dual events were choreographed, but as this was a competition, it mostly consisted of gracefully avoiding being hit and returning the punch with not much force. Basically, a show. It couldn't go wrong. But somehow, it didn't make him feel better. When the boy's name was announced, he grinned and shouted alongside his friends, although something felt odd in his stomach as he watched his boyfriend get up and walk towards the center of the gym warily. He should have insisted that he slept earlier the previous night. The exam had obviously left him both mentally and physically exhausted, not at all fit for a competition. He saluted the crowd and his rival before the judge motioned for them to start fighting. 

"What the hell is he doing?" Chanyeol stage-whispered, "He can do so much better! We've seen him, for god's sake!" he groaned exasperatedly, as Chen grunted in agreement. 

As soon as it had started, Tao had seemed completely off, nearly getting hit several times in just a few minutes, and without being able to hit his opponent a single time. He had actually fallen down a couple of times, getting back up as fast as possible, looking so weak it made him ache. 

Kris felt it even before it happened. The other boy jumped slightly, kicking towards Tao's direction. And it hit him. And he fell. The loud thump of his body against the floor made his heart skip a beat, struggling to get some air into his lungs. As the judge declared the other guy the winner, Tao finally reacted, allowing him to take a shaky breath. The side of his face and his eye were reddish from the impact, which had completely destabilized him. Luhan and Minseok rushed towards him, helping him up, but got brushed off as soon as the boy was on his feet. Tao stormed off from the gym, leaving his older team mates to ponder if they should follow. Joonmyeon motioned for them to stay there. Baekhyun would be next and he needed their support. Kris watched the whole scene before finally considering himself recovered from the shock enough to go check on his boyfriend, despite his teammates' incredulous looks. 

He ran along the corridors surrounding the gym, finally coming to a stop when he caught a slouched figure sat on the hallway towards the locker room. Shoulders slumped and head hanging low, Tao reminded him of the day they'd gotten together. He almost smiled at the memory. Almost. Because as soon as he approached, the boy startled, raising his head. He relaxed as soon as he spotted his boyfriend, but it was enough for Kris to see the nasty bruise forming on his eye. It was already deep red, and would soon get purplish. He winced at the thought of the pain he was going through. Sitting beside him, he sighted. Tao was avoiding his eyes, and Kris almost chuckled. They were very much alike, and he knew how he felt. The Panda was embarrassed. The guilt and shame were hurting him even more than what the kick had. He had lost at what he believed was the only thing he was good at, and in front of a huge crowd, moreover. Kris had been there. But he had also learnt from his own experience. They were leaders. They couldn't just sit around and mope. Their teams needed them. It hadn't even been his fault, he was exhausted and overwhelmed, but he knew that wasn't what he needed to hear right now.

"Taozi," the boy kept his head low, "You need to go back. Your team needs you."

"No, they don't," he mumbled, voice thick, "They'd be better off without me. I just ruined everything."

"No, you didn't. Come on."

"I don't want to. I-i made a foul of myself," his shoulders shook slightly as he sobbed, "I'm an idiot. An embarrassment for my team," he tightened the grip of his arms around his knees, burying his head on his chest.

"No, you are not," it hurt seeing him like that. Broken and doubting himself, "You are just prideful and a little stubborn," he pulled him towards his chest, rubbing his arm and kissing the top of his head. 

He still felt the tremble of his body as he tried to avoid crying, "Tao, look at me." The boy raised his head warily and he cupped his chin, "You are drained. You barely slept last night, remember? This isn't your fault. Okay?" Tao let out a shaky breath, nodding slightly. "But you do need to go back. They need you."

He looked back at him with a heartbroken look, "I left them when they needed me the most. They must hate me right now," his pout quivered.

Kris laughed slightly, "There's no way they hate you. Everyone loves you, believe me. Moreover, you can't solve anything just sitting here crying and feeling miserable," he could see his eyes getting a little bit brighter. Smiling, he teased, "Besides, I didn't fall for a coward, did I?"

Tao finally smiled back, shaking his head, and he knew he was ready. 

"Now, let me see," he removed the boy's ink-like hair from his eyes, kissing both his cheeks before placing a soft one on his swollen eye, making the Panda smile and bring their lips together for a short, sweet kiss. Then he got up, reaching out to grab Tao's hand and pull him up. 

"Ready?" the boy nodded warily. 

"Thanks." 

"Don't even mention it." 

Kris returned to his place, where he found his team staring intently at the court. Just as he sat down, everyone got up and cheered. Baekhyun had won. Tao appeared back inside the gym as he returned to the group, and the team begun both congratulating Baekhyun and welcoming Tao, who finally smiled at them. Mineun was up, and not even two minutes later she was announced the winner, leaving her rival looking pretty beaten up. 

From his spot on the public, he could practically sense Joonmyeon's nervousness. The boy was up next, and he looked paler than what Kris had ever seen him. But he also got to see their captain's reassuring smile. After a few words from him, Joonmyeon finally approached the center, facing his opponent. Despite some pretty nerve wracking moments where he seemed about to lose, a while later he was announced winner. On the field, the whole wushu team cheered, the same as their friends besides him. As their names were called towards the center to receive their medals, Kris could see his boyfriend's reluctance. Knowing him, he probably felt like he didn't deserve it, like they'd won despite of him, not because of him. And he hated it. Luckily, his team ended up convincing him, smiling brightly, assuring him that without his help they'd have never gotten that far. Blushing slightly but beaming nonetheless, he received his medal, making Kris smile at the sight. 

His friends decided to wait for them outside the locker room. When most of the team got out, they cheered, and in return were invited to Joonmyeon's place to celebrate. Noticing Tao's absence, Kris turned the invitation down, waiting for them to leave before getting into the room, where his boyfriend stood with his back to him.

"Congratulations," he greeted.

The sight of Tao turning around and grinning at him knocked the air out of him. Then the boy literally ran towards him, peppering his face with kisses and hugging him. Kris tightened his hold around him, spinning around the empty locker room. Breathless, he placed him on the floor, scowling slightly at the bruise on his eye. 

"We should really go get some ice." 

They laced their fingers as they walked together towards Tao's house. Had it not been for the boy holding the ice the nurse had given him against his face, Kris would have believed he was completely asleep. As they reached his house, he nudged his boyfriend slightly.

"Taozi? We're here." The boy opened his eyes droopily and smiled at him before burying his face on his neck, ice long forgotten. Kris' chest ached painfully, "You did great. Congratulations, Panda."

"What are you talking about? It was pathetic," he breathed out, making him suppress a shiver from the feeling, "Thanks Kris. Without you I'd probably still be hiding in the corridor."

Wrapping his arms around his back, he kissed the top of his panda's head, "It’s okay. You just needed a push."

After a full minute, when Tao's breath evened out, Kris realized he was probably falling asleep. Removing himself softly, he guided the boy towards his door.

"Sleep well, my Panda."


	13. Chapter 13 1/2

Finally, the hellish week was over. Tao had never been so relieved when his Friday morning classes ended and the whole group gathered together in the school cafeteria. He sat beside Kris, as usual, being careful not to touch him at all. But it was hard. It had been the main reason that week had sucked. In fact, it had made the previous one pretty unbearable too. He hadn't actually considered the implications of dating Mr. Popularity before doing so, and he wasn't too fond of them. Not that he regretted dating him. He was so happy being around him, that it made it hard to believe that they'd only been together for three weeks.

The only problem were the other students. When Kris had told him about the girl that had approached him, he hadn't given the subject too much thought, just to feel a little proud over the fact that Kris preferred him over all those girls. But his contentment didn't last long. The following morning, as he got into the school, he found his Kris surrounded by students, looking mostly irritated. When he could finally approach the group, he was able to hear what everyone was talking about. And he wasn't exactly pleased about it. His boyfriend was being ambushed with questions about his love life. They had already decided to keep quiet about it. It was none of their business. Locking eyes with Kris, he let him know he'd see him later, hoping everyone had calmed down by lunchtime.

How could he have been so naive? These people were really nosy, they wouldn't let the school's gossip of the century slide that easily. Their friends joked around, seemingly used to all the unwanted attention. But he wasn't. Kris was his. His boyfriend. And he was proud to call him so. Only that he couldn't. In fact, he couldn't even approach him. By the time he reached the library that evening, he had had enough. He snapped at Kris, even though he knew he hadn't done anything to provoke the rumors besides defending their relationship. He demanded him denying all the theories going around. Seriously? Kris dating a supermodel? Come on. But Kris also looked exhausted. They were both barely sleeping because of the upcoming exams, and this entire thing had only made their lives harder. So he felt guilty as soon as his request left his mouth. It didn't make it any better when Kris smiled sweetly at him, promising to do so. He was so freaking perfect. After that draining day, they finally got to kiss, and Tao remembered that he would go through this hell every day if it meant that afterwards he could have his boyfriend to himself. 

That weekend was perfect. As all the weekends were since they were together. They spent most of the day just lazing around in their bench in the park, occasionally making out. He had become addicted to Kris' lips so much that he couldn't go by a day without them. It kind of bothered him. Depending so much in someone else. He had always prided himself with being quite independent, but now he was acting like a lovesick teenager. And he was. He really did love Kris, although his brain told him it was a little bit soon to call it love. His heart didn't agree. 

Monday was another story. First of all, the dreaded exams begun. For three days, he wouldn't be able to do anything else but studying. He was one of the top students of his class, but if he wanted to keep his scholarship, he had to be even better. On the other side, as Kris denied the rumors, they got even worse. They suspected his girlfriend attended their school. Yeah, right. It would have been pretty amusing to see everyone looking for the possible girlfriend, mainly because he was quite sure by now Kris didn't actually like girls, if it hadn't meant they had even less time for themselves than before. 

Not only did they watch their every movement, but they were also quite creative. Kris glanced towards a girl in class while she was talking? His girlfriend. Kris handed a girl something she had dropped? They had been dating for a month. It wasn't as if Tao wanted their relationship uncovered, but it was quite annoying that nobody was even considering him. Was he so freaking ugly he wasn't worth for Your Highness? No, he wasn't. But at least it meant that they were left alone on the library. Where they had to study. Great. 

Besides everything, he was killing himself training for their upcoming wushu competition, which just happened to be the day of his last and most stressing exam. What a great week.

But now it was over. He had passed all his exams with high grades, earning the congratulations of several teachers, his team had won the competition despite his inutility, by now his eye barely looked bruised, and the rumors had lost strength, although they still were there. 

"So, where are we going today?" Chen spoke above their joined table's noise. 

"What?" he asked before taking a bite of his food. After practice, he had planned on spending time with Kris, who he had missed very very much. They'd even called their lesson off, as exams were over and they deserved a rest after all the studying. Besides, they wouldn't have any more important exams coming up, as the two months summer holidays were approaching and nobody, not even the teachers, were interested in school. Sure, neither of their teams would be completely free for the first month, as they'd still have to go to practices, but it was just an hour and then a whole free month. And he really needed those holidays. 

"Exams are over! A celebration is due," Minseok stated as a matter of fact. 

"Oh oh oh. Let's get pizza!" Baekhyun suggested excitedly. Everyone seemed to agree, and it was decided to get together after the basketball team's practice and go over there. 

So, at a quarter to five most of the wushu team sat on the benches, waiting for their friends to come over. And Tao was really admiring the view. It wasn't the first time he had stayed to wait for his boyfriend's practice to end, but was the first one he was actually allowed to be there. Kris looked so different in the court. He seemed more concentrated than usual, but at the same time less restricted. Happier. And way hotter. And just then Tao realized how much he had missed him, how much he had missed their time alone. Having to be around his friends the whole evening now seemed quite less attractive. 

When the practice finished, the basketball team went to the locker room to get changed, and soon enough the whole group was on its way to the pizza place. 

He moved towards the back of the group, casually strolling alongside his boyfriend, who smiled down at him sheepishly. Not barely ten minutes had passed when they were startled by a high pitched shout. 

"Let's go in there!" Kai bounced as he pointed towards a big establishment with a huge neon sign on top reading "Arcade". Tao hadn't even noticed its presence, although it was understandable, as he had barely been anywhere since he had arrived to the city. But he had never actually been to one of those places before, much less with friends, and it seemed extremely fun. So, despite his rumbling stomach complaining about the lack of food, he seconded the idea, much to his friend's delight. 

Once inside the huge building, everyone scattered around in groups of two of three. As soon as their friends got out of sight, Kris grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the cashier, where he bought an exaggerated amount of game coins.

Tao didn't remember laughing so much in his entire life. The games were awesome, but the sight itself was quite a show. From silly, luck based games to a really complicated choreography in Step, the group ran around trying every single game the place had to offer. A pretty intense match of Air Football between Chen and Minseok ended up with both boys swearing to beat each other in the racing cars, which led to the most fierce game of Hit the Crocodile Tao had ever seen. Kris and Lay were currently playing their third game of Shoot the Basketball, much to their team's amusement, as Baekhyun and Chanyeol bent over a classic pinball machine. It was safe to say that they were all having a great time. 

But Tao also became extremely tired. Tired of being around his boyfriend and not being able to touch him, to kiss him. He had already been through this whole issue before they got together, but now it seemed plainly unfair. And hard. Specially so when he lifted his eyes from the video game they were playing, ready to complain about the lack of concentration from Kris, only to find staring at him intently. 

"Why aren't you paying attention!?" he scolded halfheartedly. 

The boy smiled, not looking at all remorseful for making him lose the match, "Sorry. Got distracted."

Tao huffed. Of course. "What now?"

"You are right here. You can't just expect me to keep my head in the game."

Tao smiled at the lame wording, until the reality of his words hit him. His throat dried out, and something heavy settled on his stomach. Want. He needed him so much. 

"So cheesy," he turned back towards the arcade, fiddling with the controllers aimlessly. Sneaking a glance back at him, he could see Kris beaming happily. He was so screwed. 

Suddenly everyone remembered their demanding stomachs, so they left the place and made their way towards the pizza place. Needless to say, it was a chaos. The poor waitress seemed about to panic, trying to figure out what the twelve very hyper and very hungry teenagers wanted to eat. They ended up getting a bizarre amount of pizzas, even considering they were quite a big group. But they were all gone as soon as they arrived, leaving the staff literally gaping at them. Kris sat beside him, pouting slightly after losing against Chanyeol on the last round of a silly game they were too old to be playing. 

"Don't worry, FanFan," Kris had mentioned the nickname his baby cousin had given him, and he wouldn't let it slide away, "It's just a game." 

"Don't call me like that," his pout deepened, and now he looked straight up adorable. "And I'm way over it."

Tao chucked, "Yeah, I can see that," he leaned closer, seeing as nobody was actually paying any attention to them, "And I still like you best. Even if you're a sour loser."

Kris gave him a judging look. Well, maybe he wasn't exactly one to talk. He was just as bad as him. So, he looked at where Kris' hands rested on his tights, tense despite the cheerful atmosphere. Careful to keep his face as straight as possible, despite the huge grin threatening to get out, he sneaked a hand under the table and grabbed Kris', tracing soothing circles on the back. He relished in the way the boy tensed up at first, but relaxed completely instantly. 

"I'm pretty sure he was cheating. You would have totally won." Not in a million years. But the white lie was worth it when a small smile tugged on the corner of his boyfriend’s lips. Those lips he wanted so much. The ones he had missed the past week. Desperately fast brushes between them hadn't been enough. At all. But their friends were around, and despite they having agreed on keeping quiet about their relationship, it was hard at moments like this. So he forced himself to tear his eyes away from them, earning a quizzing look from the other boy. 

But despite everything, Tao was happy. He was with his friends, laughing and joking around, Kris' fingers laced with his under the table, warm and reassuring. He couldn't ask for anything else. Well, maybe for dessert. 

After a couple of hours lazing around, they decided to call the evening off. As they left the pizza place, Tao was surprised to find the sky completely darkened. His mother would probably freak out if he wasn't home soon. 

Suspiciously, his friends rushed their goodbyes, shooting him knowing looks. What the hell? Only Kris was left, and they made the way towards the bus stop in a comfortable silence. Tao felt a bit awkward around him. After that whole week barely having time for themselves, he missed his boyfriend so much it freaked him out. They had been going out for what, three weeks? And Tao had already become so addicted to him he couldn't tolerate a couple of days without contact. 

"I should've brought my motorbike," Kris whined a couple of blocks away from the stop, making him tilt his head to gape at his boyfriend. 

"You have a bike!?" he shrieked excitedly. 

"Yep. She's my baby."

Tao laughed lightly. It was amazing how every time he opened his mouth he became more and more endearing. More lovable. 

"I should ride with you sometime," he said lightly. 

"Someday. You'd be the first one to. Besides me, of course."

His eyes widened slightly, "Really? Nobody has?"

"Hell no! Nobody is allowed to even touch it. Not even Lay has," he shrieked, sounding slightly offended at the implications of someone else sitting on his baby.

"And you'll let me?" Tao smiled widely. 

"Not sure yet."

He stopped, turning around fully and staring at Kris with his mouth open. "What!? You won't let me!?" he screeched offendedly. 

"Maybe not." 

"Why the hell not!?"

"Well, you could scratch it or something. I don't know." Kris shrugged, as if it was the most usual thing on earth. 

"I wouldn't!" he took off towards the stop, cussing his idiot boyfriend under his breath. How dared him doubt him? 

After a short moment, Kris' quick footsteps ran after him, grabbing his arm as he reached him, frowning. 

"Wait. Are you mad at me?"

An idiot indeed. 

"No, I'm not," he yanked his arm from his grip. "Shut up!"

"I told you maybe!"

"No! You said 'maybe not'!"

Kris suppressed a smile before chuckling, "Same thing."

Tao's frown deepened as he resumed his angry walk, hearing Kris' soft laughter behind him. 

"You know that if you keep making that face I'll want to bother you every day, don't you?" he heard the boy shout. 

Stopping on his tracks, he dropped his head on his hands. God, how could he find such a cheesy comment so freaking endearing? Maybe he was the idiot in the relationship. He hated how easily Kris could tick him off, how easily he fell for these traps he had been dealing with since the day they met. He hated loving so much that his boyfriend thought he was cute. He hated being so freaking whipped. 

Kris finally reached him, sneaking a hand around his waist, making him thankful that the street was completely empty. 

"God, Tao. You are so cute."

The words tingled at his nape, dragging an involuntary shiver from his body. His resolve threatened to crumble, but he stood still and ignored the heat at the pit of his stomach. Scowling, he tried to pride himself off the boy's grip. His protest died on his throat when Kris turned him around, facing him, incredibly close. 

"What are you doing?" he let out, trying to control his erratic breathing, "Someone could see us." 

Kris's lips were so close, calling him, and he felt an impossible pull towards them. Need. Completely, pure want. 

Kris brought him even closer, until he was flushed against his chest, "Don't worry about it."

The boy sounded as desperate as he felt, and without being able to stop himself, he sneaked a hand behind Kris' head, joining their lips together, hard and fast. He hated how weak he was about Kris. How his anger vanished completely as soon as their lips brushed. How he didn't hate him at all. He felt his boyfriend smile against his lips. And he lost it. 

Tao knew they couldn't. It wasn't the right time for this. His mother was waiting for him. Most of all, the middle of a bus stop wasn't quite an appropriate place. But he needed him so much he felt it in his bones. Kris lips. Soft and warm. Close. Finally. So he dragged himself away harshly, earning an annoyed grunt, but before Kris could protest further, he grabbed his sleeve, pulling him towards a half hidden alley they had passed on their way towards the stop. 

As soon as Kris realized what his intentions were, he got pushed against the wall, lips on his once again. But not at all like before. They were harsh, demanding. A completely new feel to it compared to the sort of chaste kisses they'd shared up until then. And it made Tao crazy. He locked his hands on Kris' blonde hair, tugging him closer, completely aware of the other boy's hands running along his spine. A sharp pain on his lower lip made him gasp into the kiss, allowing Kris to sneak his tongue inside of his mouth, not without licking his swollen lip apologetically. Tao stilled, feeling the foraging sensation, pondering it. It was so new, so weird, the feeling of his boyfriend's tongue brushing against his, touching everything on its way. And then it was gone. 

"What are you doing?" Kris breathed against his lips, pulling away slightly. 

Tao took a minute to process the question. He was still pretty shocked, and his skin felt hot all over, "W-what?"

"You are supposed to kiss me back! Not withdraw!" he whined, and in other circumstances, Tao would've laughed at him. But now, he only blushed even harder, looking for the less embarrassing explanation for his lack of reaction. 

"I... Kind of..." he swallowed, "Don't know how?"

A smirk tugged on the corner of Kris' lips as he returned to his previous position, "Just relax and do as I do. You know. With your tongue."

Tao managed half a nod before they were kissing again. Slowly, he flicked his tongue with Kris', earning a low moan from the back of his boyfriends' throat. Experimentally, he brushed it against the roof of his mouth, almost smiling when the hands on his back fell limp. But a second later they were back at it, and Tao lost the ability to think any longer. His body acted on instinct, the kiss growing incredibly deeper and wet. And hot. So hot. The feeling of Kris' hands caressing the soft skin of his waist at the same time their tongues danced together would make him burst into flames every second now. When said hands begun to trail lower, he was sure his end had come. 

But then he realized they were still in that dirty alley, barely a few feet away from the street. That he needed to go home as soon as possible. And he freaked out. How far did Kris want to go? Hell, Tao wasn't even sure of how far he himself wanted to go. The pressure against his backside made him moan into Kris mouth, and he knew that he had to end it before it was too late to stop himself. Pushing slightly, he untangled himself from the kiss. 

His boyfriend blinked dazedly a couple of times, before setting his eyes on him and frowning, "What's wrong, Panda? Are you okay?"

Panting, he searched for an answer. Was he okay? How could he explain he was freaking scared and painfully turned on and that he couldn't deal with all of that right there right then? A cellphone beep saved him from stuttering any longer, and Kris took it out, groaning as he saw the message. 

"What?"

"Chanyeol," he passed him the phone, where a photo of that afternoon's game board showed Kris' embarrassing defeat. His own cellphone rang a second later, displaying the same photo on a group message. Apparently, Chanyeol wouldn't let Kris get over it so easily. 

A second message startled him as he was putting his phone away. His mother was already home and freaking out at his absence. Great. 

He cursed loudly before making his way out of the alley. His mom would kill him. Kris followed him closely. 

"I have to go home, Kris," he avoided his boyfriend's eyes, coming to a stop when he saw the bus approaching. 

"I'll walk you home."

"No! Don't worry. Your house is to the other side, you'd have to do twice the trip," he got into the bus, "But thanks. Talk to you later, okay?"

Kris smiled at him as he nodded and waved goodbye. 

The truth was that he didn't trust himself to spend fifteen minutes sat beside his boyfriend on a bus filled with people. His skin still tingled where they'd touched, and his swollen lips already ached from the loss of contact. 

He hated it. Both his heart and his body wanted more. More contact, more kisses, more Kris. But his brain had another idea. Sleepless later that night, he went through the whole thing again. Anxiety settled on his stomach, making him turn around uneasily. He was afraid. Freaking terrified. Of what, he wasn't sure. That evening's kiss had been the best thing to ever happen to him, but it had stirred doubts he had tried to ignore up until then. This whole being in a relationship thing was new to him. He wasn't sure if he was even supposed to like Kris so much so soon. He wasn't sure if it was normal to want so much, to need Kris with every fiber of his body. He wasn't sure if he was making things right. So, he had panicked. And now he missed Kris. His boyfriend. Their messages that evening had felt forced and weird, leaving Tao with an empty feeling. And he didn't like it at all. His swollen lips were only a reminder of what he missed so much, what he wanted to have forever. He groaned as he sat up, sleep finally forgotten. He sounded like a freaking girl, stupidly in love with her boyfriend. But he did love him a whole lot. And he knew just enough about relationships to know that trust and communication were the key. Finally those stupid shows his mother liked to watch made some sort of sense. Lying back down, he willed himself to sleep. 


	14. Chapter 13 2/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on, most chapters will have explicit content

Saturday. Finally. Late morning welcomed him with a bright day and a clouded mind. Tutoring lessons had been canceled, as some sort of after exams break, so he just had to go through practice before he could go back home and mope. With a frown, he bid his mom goodbye, concerned about the fact that lately she’d had to work on Saturdays. Usually, he would've been ecstatic, as he'd have been able to go out with Kris without making up lame excuses. Not that he planned on hiding their relationship from her forever, but he didn't feel like explaining the whole thing to her, especially since the last thing she'd heard about Kris were complains from way before they'd even become friends. 

He wandered through the house as he waited for the time to go to practice to arrive. As exams were over, he didn't even have homework to distract himself from his cliché teenager issues. His cellphone stared at him accusingly from his nightstand, telling him to get over himself and call Kris if he missed the boy so much. It wasn't as if they'd fought or anything. Tao was just being a freaking coward. 

Practice went as usual at the beginning. As it happened every time he was training, he was able to free himself from every thought. That was, at least, until the other team came into view. His heart thumped uncomfortably on his chest at the sight of his boyfriend, who smiled sheepishly at him, and he tried to focus back on his practice. Needless to say, he failed. Avoiding looking at the other side of the field was tiresome. And made him hurt. So he was utterly relieved when the hour finished and the whole team headed to the locker room. 

Only after he had changed back onto his regular clothes he decided to check his phone, throat tight when the screen displayed a message. 

From: Kris

'Wait for me after practice. Please.'

He wanted to see the boy so much. The past day had been living hell, and knowing it was all in his head was making everything worse. So he declined his team's invitation to hang out and sat outside the school, trying not to draw too much attention to himself. 

Practice ended and soon the rest of the team was out of the gym, his boyfriend nowhere to be found. He tapped his finger anxiously as he waited. Finally, Kris left the place, smiling when he spotted him. 

"You stayed! I didn't think you would," he stated softly when he got to his side. 

"Why wouldn't I?" 

Kris shuffled his feet uncomfortably, "I don't know... As you are mad at me…"

"No, I'm not," he shook his head. Although he wanted to take a step closer and wrap his arms around him, he was aware that they were still at school grounds, so he refrained himself, "I'm just..." he trailed off, "Not sure."

Kris let out a sad laugh, looking as miserable as Tao had ever seen him. He was probably doubting himself, wondering where he had messed up, what he had done wrong. When the truth was that nothing had happened. It was just his stupid self thinking about everything too much. He sighted, feigning a smile, although he felt like crying. 

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" Kris nodded, face paler than usual, so Tao grabbed his hand reassuringly. He was fine. They were going to be fine. 

The short walk to their usual coffee place was a silent one, but unlike the previous one, he could feel the tension between them, the nervousness in Kris' hands, his own heartbeat. 

"What's wrong, Taozi?" Kris asked as soon as they got their orders, making Tao choke on his drink. 

"N-nothing! I'm not mad at you! I'm just... Confused, I guess. That's all," he lowered his gaze. 

"Confused about what?"

Oh god. 

"Well, uhm. Last night... After... You know, the kiss. I just... I'm new to those things... I wasn't sure if we were going to fast or too slow or something... So I guess I got scared?" he gulped, waiting for Kris' reaction. When he didn't hear a word from the boy, he raised his eyes, feeling uneasy at his blank face. After a long minute of silence, in which Tao felt like dying several times, he finally spoke up. 

"Relationships are not equations, Taozi. There's no right way to do something. Nor wrong one. No rules. No manual to guide you along the way, no cheat sheet. Your heart is the guide. You just have to do what you feel is right, what works for you," he shrugged, looking at the gaping Tao intently, "And I would never, ever force you to do something you don't want. You know that, right?" Tao could see him waiting for an answer, face falling when he saw him flushing hard, avoiding his eyes. How could he be so perfect? And his. Kris was his. 

With sad eyes and a concerned frown, Kris gulped. "If this is about the kiss... I'm sorry. If it was too soon or you felt uncomfortable or- I didn't mean to- I'm so so-"

"Of course not, Kris!" he bolted from his seat, startling the boy and attracting the looks of several customers. 

Blushing, he flopped back down, burying his face on his arms and willing the earth to just swallow him.

"Of course not," he sighted, running a hand through his hair, "I liked it. Way too much. That's the problem."

Then he felt himself being dragged, blinking confusedly as they left the place. Soon he recovered enough to keep up with his boyfriend's quick pace and not long after he spotted their destination. As usual, their seat on the park was empty, and that's where Kris let his arm go, pushing him slightly to sit down. 

"Say it again."

"What?"

"Repeat what you told me a minute ago. Now," his stern look reminded Tao of all the times he had scolded him during lessons, and his rebellious streak made him straighten his back, staring right into his eyes. 

"It has nothing to do with the kiss. I liked it and I don't regret it. Happy?"

Kris smiled before pulling him up for a kiss. It was soft and sweet, and Tao felt like crying from relief. But it was over too soon, and he already missed it. 

"Very," Kris pecked his lips, and then frowned playfully, "But don't say stuff like that. Unless you want more?" he smirked. 

Tao stared back at him expressionless, repressing the urge to yell at him and tell him that yeah, he actually did. And a freaking lot. But with the little sanity he had left he rolled his eyes. 

"Whatever you say, FanFan. Maybe you are the one who wants more?"

Kris smiled before grabbing a handful of his shirt, pulling him closer once again, this time rougher, hotter. Tao grabbed his hair, pulling him impossibly close. 

Wait. Was that... Water? Another cold droplet hit his face. And another. He drew apart. Seriously? Just when things had begun? He glared at the clouds above them, running alongside Kris when a curtain of water begun to drop. Sheltering under a shop's roof, it hit him. His mother wouldn't be at home for a couple of hours. 

"Come to my house," he whispered to Kris, who turned to look at him wide eyed before nodding slowly. He smiled at the memory of the last time he had spoken those same words to the boy, shortly after falling for him. He took his hand once again, leading the way under the heavy rain. 

Dripping wet, they finally got home. Tao wondered how the hell he would explain such a mess to his mother, but right now, he didn't care. Because Kris was in his bedroom. And he was currently looking for towels, trying to forget the fact that his Kris was in his bedroom. 

Standing on the doorway, he eyed his unsuspicious boyfriend. He was so freaking handsome. The wet clothes stuck to his chest nicely, well defined muscles visible under the thin fabric, hipbones... He threw the towel to the elder's head, attempting to distract himself. Kris took it and smiled widely, making his stomach flutter. 

"I like your room."

"Thanks. I'm sure it's not nearly as big as yours but- What the hell are you doing!?" He shouted as his boyfriend lied on his bed, instantly wetting the cover. There was no way he was getting away with that with his mom. 

In one swift movement, Kris stood back up in front of him, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. With his face buried on his boyfriend's chest, Tao couldn't help but to feel perfectly content. The boy smelt incredibly, like rain and himself. The warmth radiating from Kris soon surrounded him, and he could feel his heartbeat through the thin layer of clothes. What reminded him that they were actually dripping wet, hugging, alone in the middle of his bedroom. All the feelings from the night before returned, and he tried to break the hug, only to be held even tighter. 

"Don't. It's cold," Kris mumbled into his hair, making him shiver. 

With every ounce of strength he had left, he said, "We should change clothes, then. I'll lend you som-"

Suddenly, Kris' warmth was gone, replaced instead by hot lips on his. Tao gasped in surprise at the sudden heat, even stronger than before. He grabbed the elder's neck to get steady, trying to catch up with his frantic rhythm. Kris' tongue was soon inside his mouth, brushing and touching and licking. And Tao wanted more. He kissed back with everything he had, earning a few moans that made him want to be closer. Much closer. With a firm grip on his waist, he was pushed until his back hit his room's wall. Kris broke the kiss, a string of saliva joining their lips. Smirking, he leaned down, liking Tao's lower lip. He bit back a whimper at the scene, knees threatening to buck. He leaned against the wall, unable to keep his eyes open when Kris got his hand under his soaking shirt, joining their lips again for a profound kiss, tongues dragging against each other as Tao tried to keep breathing. 

"I'll help you with yours," Kris murmured, voice incredibly low, finally taking the piece of clothing off and yanking it towards the other side of the room. Running his long fingers through his bare chest, he leaned down once again, breath tickling a breathless Tao's ear. 

"You are so gorgeous," he bit slightly, dragging a whimper from the boy, "I'm jealous."

His hands began dragging up and down, barely brushing, but enough to make Tao's brain shut off. He cried out in pleasure when a cold finger circled his nipple, pinching slightly. Kris chuckled, moving towards his neck, kissing and nibbling everything on its way. Tao tried to muffle his moans, overwhelmed by pleasure. Kris sucked and licked his neck, nails dragging along his sides before once again teasing his nipple. His other hand caressed his arm, helping him keep his balance. He felt cherished. Loved. Like he never had before. The need was too much, like he could die any minute now, so he yanked Kris away from his neck, kissing him hotly before taking the other's shirt off, dragging his nails on his back, earning a grunt that rumbled through him. Kris took him by the waist once again, flushing their bodies together, skin on skin. Locking lips together, he ran both hands rhythmically on his waist as the kiss grew deeper, Tao grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him closer. One of Kris' hands abandoned its place, resting between them on Tao's crotch. Feeling a slight pressure, the boy groaned into the kiss, eyes flying open. His previous confidence and resolution were replaced by utter, complete panic. And want. So much want. 

"Wha- what are you doing?" he tried to catch his breath. 

"You don't want it?" Kris asked, a hint of smile on his words. 

Locking eyes with his boyfriend, the fear vanished. He loved Kris. Kris loved him back. And he did want it. More than he had ever wanted anything in his life. 

Leaning back against the wall, he avoided his eyes, as Kris joined their lips together at the same time he unbuttoned his trousers. Tao whimpered into his mouth, hands trying to keep him up as a wave of white pressure ran through him the first time Kris brushed his clothed member. He felt his erection grow at every moment, as Kris' heat reached him through the thin layer of cloth, and he just needed more of that warmth. He wanted everything between them gone. Breaking the kiss, he reached for the older’s neck, licking and sucking on it. A surprised moan left the other's lips, his hand on Tao's dick tightening its hold. 

"Take it off. Now!" he bit at Kris' neck harshly, earning a scream from said boy, before he obeyed, lowering his trousers further and removing his underwear, taking Tao's soft member on his hand. The younger boy let out a shaky breath, leaning back against the wall when Kris begun running his hand along his length, slow and steady. He sunk his teeth into his lip when his thumb brushed over his head, gasping when Kris bit said lip slightly. 

"Don't. I want to hear you," he turned back to his neck, running his teeth lightly, slowly, in rhythm with his hand. 

Tao needed more. Harder. Rougher. Faster. 

"Fa-faster. Please Kris," his name left his lips breathlessly. He hated it. Begging. But he needed him so much. 

When Kris' pace picked up, he began moaning lowly, just for Kris to hear. His hands ran through Kris' back, shoulders, hair, anywhere he could get a hold from. The skin on his neck became sore, so he laced his fingers through his boyfriend's hair, pulling softly. 

"Do you like it, Panda?" Kris asked, lips abandoning his neck and hovering over his mouth. Tao focused his glazed over eyes on his, pulling him into a deep, wet kiss.

The pressure at the pit of his stomach became unbearable. His mind blank, an electric current running though his body. His knees weren't able to hold him any longer, so he leaned against Kris, every single hair of his body bristling. He screamed one last time into Kris' neck, going over the edge, coming so hard his vision blurred. 

He came down to the sound of his boyfriend's deep voice whispering into his ear, a warm hand running through his back. The other still around his cock, stroking lightly, covered in white. 

Shame and guilt rushed through him, stuttering to apologize. 

"Don't worry about it," Kris pecked his lips, "Was it good?" he asked sheepishly. 

Tao could only nod, leaning his back against the wall exhaustedly, trying to catch his breath. 

His boyfriend smiled sweetly at him before leaving the room, only to return a few moments later with a damp towel. After cleaning his own hands, he proceeded to run the cloth over Tao's body. Approaching him, he kissed his cheek, leaving a soft trail of kisses along his jaw. 

"You are so gorgeous, Panda," he whispered near his ear. 

Tao's brain still felt numb, so he raised his hand, caressing Kris' face a little bit shakily. Beaming at him, he joined their lips for a short, sweet kiss. Tao felt all the tension of the past few days slip away. He still didn't know much about how relationships worked, but he had Kris. They'd figure it out along the way. 

His brain told him something was off even before he heard the sound of the car pulling into the driveway. Because of the persistent haze he was still in, it took him a couple of moments to realize what was going on. And when he did, he panicked. Pushing a baffled Kris harshly, he ran towards his closet, yanking the doors open and tossing a shirt in his boyfriend's direction before grabbing one to himself. Turning around, he found the other boy staring at him at lost, so he rushed to his side, telling him to get dress with a loud whisper. Snapping out of it, Kris did as he was told, while Tao pulled his pants up and checked around the room for anything that could give away what they’d done. If he hadn't been so in a hurry, he would have laughed. Or probably cried. 

But he did end up laughing when Kris finally caught on on what was going on, his face draining of color when the distinct sound of the door being unlock was heard downstairs. 

"Honey! I'm home!"

"H-Hey mom! Be right down!" he chocked out. He was nervous, but Kris, on the other side, looked about to pass out. Tao chucked. What a great day to meet your in law. 

With a reassuring peck on the lips, he grabbed the panicking boy's hand and begun dragging him downstairs. 

"Sorry mom! I was getting changed, as I hadn't brought an umbrella and it rained an awful lot, you know?" He babbled, heart stopping as his mother entered the room without noticing them. 

"Look at this! It'll be hell to get those stains out from the parquet!" 

Tao rolled his eyes at the comment, despite being frozen in the middle of the staircase. After not hearing a response, she raised her eyes, doing a double take after spotting Kris. Quite comically, if he might add. 

"Who is he?" she inquired. 

"Kris. I mean... Yifan. Actually, Kris is fine." Said boy bowed deeply, making him beam involuntarily. Looking back at his mom, he saw her inspecting his boyfriend from head to toe. Her eyes paused at their joined hands, and Tao cussed himself for forgetting about them, dropping Kris' hand immediately. His neck felt sore, and red marks were bound to be there. His mother raised an eyebrow at him. Of course, she already knew about Kris' existence, although only as his tutor. She had never actually seen him. He shifted uncomfortably. 

"You are Chinese, right?" she squinted and Tao suppressed an annoyed groan. His boyfriend stuttered an agreement, and his mother finally smiled slightly. 

"Well, nice to meet you, Kris."

Once again, Kris bowed awkwardly. His boyfriend was too adorable for his own good. 

"Excuse me, but I was just leaving, right, Tao?" his voice sounded a little bit strained, and upon scanning him quickly, he spotted the problem. Their previous activities hadn't only had their effect on him, but on Kris too. And he hadn't been able to take care of it. Tao swallowed. 

"Yeah, right. Let me walk you to the door."

His mom smiled at them before turning back towards the kitchen as Tao dragged him through the front door, closing it behind his back. Letting out a shaky breath, he turned to face Kris, who was covering his red face with his hands. 

"That was the most embarrassing thing ever," he groaned. 

"Don't worry. I don't think she knows anything." A white lie couldn't hurt anyone, right? Because he knew for fact that his mother at least suspected what was going on. 

"I thought you said she would be home late."

Glancing around, Tao took in the closed night and the silent street. 

"It's already late, FanFan. Go home."

Removing the hands from the boy's face, he grabbed his chin, pulling him into a short kiss. 

"Thanks... About... Earlier," he mumbled, and Kris smiled into the kiss. 

"Don't even mention it."

After a too short minute, they broke apart. 

"See you on Monday, okay?" He told Kris. They wouldn't be able to see each other the following day, and it already hurt being apart, if only for just a day, "You can return my shirt then," he pulled playfully at the material and Kris smiled. 

Wishing him goodnight, he turned towards the door. As he was about to unlock it, he suddenly remembered. 

"Kris!" he called, making said boy turn around and stare at him. "About that favor... I'll return it, okay?"

Kris' jaw fell, eyes wide in shock.

Closing the door behind him, he smiled at how his awful day had turned up. He had Kris by his side. And maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t worry anymore. 


	15. Chapter 14 1/3

Something was wrong. He felt it as soon as he stepped into the school yard, scanning the crowd for his friends and boyfriend. While Kyungsoo, Sehun and Kai were chatting excitedly as usual, his Panda sat alone, shoulders slouched and eyes unfocused. 

Approaching them, Kris went over their conversation from the night before, looking for any clue as to what was wrong with him. Everything had been fine. Perfect, actually. Kris couldn't help the smile that graced his lips every time he thought about Saturday evening. Every time he thought of Tao's lips, touches, moans. His face lost in pleasure. It made something inside him swell. It hadn't been the first time he'd done that, but he wasn't used to it either. Usually, he'd been on the receiving end of those touches, but with Tao was different. He did it because he wanted to. He wanted to see his boyfriend twist in pleasure, he wanted to be close, closer than ever. He wanted to reassure him of their relationship. Let him know he'd wait for him if he wanted to. He wanted to show him how much he liked him. How much he loved him. 

Love. Just the thought of it freaked him out. Because of how it'd ended the last time. But, depressing thoughts aside, it was also thrilling. From liking to loving was a huge breach, and he knew he loved Tao. He had liked him for a long time, but now those feelings had evolved, gotten much stronger, deeper. He liked everything about him. The way he laughed. Talked. Walked. Breathed. The way he'd blush every time Kris said something cheesy. Every time he touched him. He liked Tao desperately much. He loved him desperately much. 

So, despite not knowing what was wrong with him, it hurt. It hurt as if it was happening to himself. The previous night's messages had ended abruptly, and he had only assumed the Panda had fallen asleep in front of his phone, but now he wasn't so sure. He pushed back the doubt that had crept into his mind, finally reaching them. His friends greeted him as usual, but Kyungsoo shook his head when he motioned towards his boyfriend, who remained oblivious to his presence. From the short distance between them, he could clearly see the more pronounced dark circles and the general worn out look of the boy, who was now frowning down at his phone. Kris was only noticed when he shook his hand in front of the device. Tao raised his head, attempting a smile at him. 

"Hey Kris. I didn't see you there." 

"Hi, Panda. Is everything okay?" he questioned, stopping his hand from caressing his cheek when he remembered they were at school. He sighed inwardly. 

Tao, on the other hand, nodded vigorously, "Yeah, everything is fine! Why are you asking?" 

He raised an eyebrow at the obviously fake response, but he dropped the subject, seeing as the other boy obviously didn't want to talk about it. 

"Anyway, here's your shirt," he smirked down at him, "Thanks." 

Tao took said piece of clothing, cheeks coloring slightly before lowering his gaze. "I forgot yours. Sorry."

"Don't worry," he lowered his voice, leaning closer, just for Tao to hear, "There'll be plenty more opportunities for you to return it, right?"

Hearing no response from the distracted boy, he straightened his back, scowling. He couldn't help but to wonder if he had done something wrong, said something wrong. It couldn't be about Saturday, right? Tao had also been happy about it, even comforting him after his embarrassment in front of his mother. The promise he'd made afterwards had had Kris sleepless for a fair share of the night, and the following day they'd texted as usual. He couldn't wrap his head around it. What had happened between their late night texts and that morning?

Lunchtime went by unusually quiet as Tao was still down. Kris tried to interrogate him as soon as he thought nobody was paying attention to them, but he always got the same answer. That he was fine. That nothing was wrong. That no, he wasn't angry with him. He was fine. Only that he wasn't. By early afternoon Kris was straight out worried. Seeing as they'd cancelled their lessons, they'd joined Joonmyeon and Chen in their walk around the city. No matter how much of a pain in the ass Chen was being, the Panda didn't even bat an eyelid at him, and when Tao ignored the shop displays in favor of his cellphone screen, Kris was sure something was definitely going on. The Panda and Joonmyeon went back for their practice not long after, as the remaining two wandered around for a while longer before also making their way back.

The atmosphere was odd as soon as they entered the gym. Scanning the place, he immediately spotted the problem. Tao was on his side of the field, absent-mindedly explaining a new movement. Most of his team was wearing a frown on their faces as they watched their usually cheerful leader looking so troubled. 

He spent that half of his practice sneaking glances at the other side of the field. It was obvious that by now the whole wushu team had noticed their leader's unusual mood, so they let him be. When he saw the other team about to leave the gym after practice, Kris took a chance to sprint towards his boyfriend, stopping him with a hand on his elbow. 

"Hey, Panda. Can you wait for me?" 

Tao turned around, once again attempting a smile, "Sorry Kris. I can't. Mom got angry when I got home late last Friday." 

Excuses. Kris felt the uneasy feeling stir on his stomach again. Tao took a step backwards, heading towards the locker room. 

"But I'll text you, okay?" he said before turning away from him. 

After a horrible practice in which he was barely able to catch a ball, Kris returned to his place. He turned on the lights as he walked through the empty house, a habit he'd picked when he was younger. Back then, every corner of the dark, lonely house felt dangerous, and that was the only thing that had help him get through it. He was no longer afraid, but the habit had stuck. After a quick shower, he made himself a couple of toasts, munching them quietly as he thought about that day's problem. Pulling his cellphone out, he was gladly surprised to find a message from his boyfriend, despite it only being about some online RPG they'd talked about the previous night. He ignored the text, opting instead for calling the Panda. When he picked up after a few rings, he was more than relieved to hear his voice less upset.

He ended up connecting online himself, feeling the weight lift of his shoulders when Tao's laughter bubbled through the phone. It felt as if he hadn't heard it in way too long, and he hated it. But now his boyfriend seemed to be feeling better, chatting and asking questions about the game. Kris decided that there would be time to ask him about that evening, but there was no point to it now that the boy was happy. After all, it was the only thing that mattered. 

He glanced at his clock, jumping slightly at the time. He hadn't realized they had spent so much time playing, and now it was really late.

"We should really go to sleep," he chuckled lightly, still amazed by the speed time went by when he talked to his boyfriend.

"What? Now? Just a bit longer. Please," he whined. It was really hard to say no to that.

"It's already midnight, and we've been playing since I got home. I'm tired," he tried to reason weakly. If Tao wanted him to stay, he would stay.

"A couple of minutes more! Come on!" he pleaded. Kris could imagine his pouting face, and just the thought of it made him smile. Now there was no way he was going to sleep.

"But aren't you tired?" he questioned. He was surprised Tao hadn't fallen asleep before, as lately he had been sleeping as much as he could.

"No. I don't want to sleep," his tone was back to miserable, and Kris leaned forward on his seat, suddenly alert.

"Are you okay?" he questioned, although he already knew the answer. 

"What? Uhm, sure. Why wouldn't I?"

"You sound weird." A long pause followed his statement, and he had begun to believe the Panda had fallen asleep when he heard a sigh. Needless to say, it didn't exactly stop him from worrying.

"I'm fine. Can you stay for a while?"

Kris nodded, despite knowing the other boy couldn't see him. And he stayed. He'd stay forever if the boy asked him to. 

A small yawn took him out of his thoughts an hour later. 

"Tired, Panda?" he smirked.

"Not at all. But I'm starving. Missed dinner and now there's nothing good at home," he whined. Kris raised an eyebrow, worries hitting him full force again. Missed dinner? Since when did his boyfriend skip the opportunity to eat? 

"Well... What do you want, then?"

Not even a heartbeat later the answer came through the phone, and he couldn't help but to smile.

"Hamburger!" Tao chirped excitedly.

"Now?" One in the morning didn't exactly sound like the time to be craving that sort of food. But, thinking about it, he hadn't really had dinner either, having completely forgotten about it while he talked to Tao. And now a hamburger sounded like a pretty good idea, "Okay. Let’s go get some."

"Now?!"

"Sure. Get ready, I'll pick you up in my bike."

Tao shrieked a quite unmanly shriek, and Kris almost hit himself for finding it so adorable. Was there something his boyfriend could do he didn't find at least endearing? He doubted it. After grabbing a coat and his keys, he made the ten minutes ride towards Tao's home. The boy left the house as soon as Kris texted that he was outside, closing the door behind him slowly and then skipping towards him. He greeted Kris, placing a short kiss on his mouth, and said boy felt relief wash over him. At least now he was completely sure that whatever was making his boyfriend so upset had nothing to do with him. Besides, they hadn't kissed since Saturday evening, and he had been missing his lips way too much. 

Tao begun to get on the motorbike, being extremely careful not to touch it at all. Chuckling, he remembered what he'd told him about scratching it or something. What an idiot. He should have imagined that he wouldn't forget about it. The truth was that, besides the fact that he really liked his bike, he could care less if it was Tao who scratched it. After all, he loved him much more. When they were settled, he passed his boyfriend the only helmet he had, making a mental note to buy another one if these trips were going to be a thing. 

Trying not to dwell on how freaking adorable and kind of sexy Tao looked with his helmet on, he started the engine. Tao wrapped his arms around him to keep himself from falling. But Kris felt that there was also another reason for it. Like if he needed it. Needed the warmth and the support. Needed Kris to be there, just as he had asked him to. And he would be.

Tao's grip on him got even tighter when he started the bike, making Kris smile at how endearing he found the silly gesture. 

The 24hs McDonald was nearly empty when they finally pulled up at the parking lot. After all, not many people craved greasy food at two in the morning. Kris chucked. His boyfriend was just that special. Hand in hand, they walked into the place, earning suspicious glances from both the guy behind the desk and the couple of elders by the far back table. Two teenagers alone in the middle of the night must have been a pretty unusual sight. The Panda's eyes immediately lit up while he scanned the menu on top of their heads. Kris had to suppress a fit of laughter at the incredulous, and kind of scared, look the employee shot his slim boyfriend when, after not too much consideration, he ordered a whole family meal. He paid for his own cheeseburger and soda, sitting by the counter to wait for the order to be ready. 

Not long after, he sat amusedly in front of his boyfriend, who was already on his second burger, three to go. The first one had practically disappeared right before his eyes. Tao had sighed happily, grabbed a couple of fries and started on the second one. He took a bite and moaned slightly, and it took all of Kris' will power not to kiss him right then. Instead, he took a bite of his much more modest meal. He tried to push back the thought that Tao must have been incredibly hungry, as he had actually skipped dinner that night. What inevitably returned him to the question of why was he so upset he had even stopped eating. 

Soon, Kris finished his meal and leaned on his hand, staring at his boyfriend intently. It was just hard to believe that he was his. Their one month anniversary would be the following day, and it had been his favorite month ever. Tao paused from where he was about to take another bite, returning his gaze. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he questioned, frowning slightly. 

A warm smile spread on Kris' face as he shook his head slightly, "You're just adorable when you eat."

The Panda blushed in return, muttering something about him being way too cheesy, but a smile tugged at the corner of his lips while he resumed eating. 

"Are you sure you don't want one of mine?" His frown deepened as he gestured towards his two remaining burgers, eyes still happy and content. 

"I'm fine. I don't actually like fast food that much. It's bad for you and not even that tasty."

Tao gaped at him, a deep pout grazing his face as Kris finished explaining. Kris suppressed a smile at how the younger boy was looking at him as if he had just kicked a puppy. After a minute, though, his face relaxed and he shrugged, taking a sip of his soda.

"Your loss," he took another happy bite, humming contently at the taste. Kris followed his every movement with his eyes, mesmerized with the look of pure joy on his face. Then he was leaning in, taking a bite from a very surprised Tao. He swallowed and smirked.

"But I can eat if it's you feeding me." Tao blushed slightly, smiling nonetheless. Rolling his eyes and muttering a soft "cheesy", he suddenly leaned closer, a hand reaching for his boyfriend's face. Running a finger through the corner of his lips, he cleaned a little bit of salsa that the burger had left there. Kris grinned amusedly, although the boy didn't seem to notice what he had done, as he resumed finishing his remaining burgers.

They'd been sitting around after finishing their meal for a couple of minutes when Tao mentioned that he felt like eating ice cream. Once again, Kris was left to think if the Panda ever got completely full. But, being the faithful servant that he was, they left the place once again, beginning the odyssey of finding an open ice-cream shop at three in the morning. Deeming the task impossible, they settled for some supermarket popsicles, and made their way towards the park.

Despite him being used to wandering around at night, Kris had never actually sat in the deserted park so late. Their bench was peaceful and safe, stars visible through the thin layer of leaves above them. The early morning was warm and damp, dew covering everything around them, making it look weirdly enchanting. 

Laying his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, Tao begun to eat his ice cream, and he followed suit. Without wanting to disturb the peace of their surroundings, they talked in hushed whispers. Kris listened to his Panda ramble about the game they'd played together that afternoon, just enjoying the way he was pressed to his side, his melodic voice lulling him to sleep. He was tired, yes, but Tao didn't seem eager to return home, despite having been awake for almost twenty hours. So, he was kind of relieved when he started to yawn, eyes drooping slightly. 

"Are you tired, Taozi? Want to go back?" 

The boy shook his head, a cute little pout grazing his lips. 

"I'm not tired. I don't want to sleep," he mumbled against his shoulder, and when Kris turned his head around to look at him, the miserable look he had worn the whole day was back on his eyes, making his stomach twist painfully. 

Tao yawned once again, burrowing himself deeper into the elder's side. 

"Why not?" He was obviously worn out, dark circles looking dangerously dark, skin unusually pale. 

"I don't want to dream," he sighed to himself. 

Kris tightened his grip around him, once again repeating the question. He was getting increasingly worried about him. He knew quite a lot about not wanting to sleep, and it made him sick knowing his boyfriend was going through something so distressing he felt like that.

"I'll dream about my dad," was the barely audible response.

Kris wasn't sure of what he had been expecting, but it was definitely not that. 

"Oh," he couldn't seem to find the connection between this and his sudden depression, "And what's wrong with that?" 

"Now, everything," Tao mumbled sadly. 

And then he got it. It was his dad. Although it didn't make a lot of sense. He knew the boy missed him terribly, but lately he had been better, seeing as apparently his father was a lot happier and Tao had settled to his routine of calling him every day.

"Did something happen?"

The Panda nodded slightly, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. "He called me last night," he begun, sleepiness slowly taking over him, "He met someone. He... really likes her. He's serious about her."

His sadness was evident in his tone, and Kris honestly didn't know how to make it go away. Wrapping his arms around him, he pressed a kiss to his warm temple. The boy pushed him back softly, staring right into Kris' eyes, his own watering slightly. 

"Am I being too selfish Kris? I love my dad, I should be happy that he is happy now, right? But I'm not," he rushed out, angrily wiping the few tears that had managed to leave his eyes, "What about my mom? I love her too. I don't want her to be alone. I don't want him dating that woman. Won't they get back together? Why can't everything be like it used to? They were happy before! Maybe," he paused, taking a shuddering breath, "Maybe they can be happy again, right? And then everything will be fine. We can go home or stay here or whatever. I don't care. But this ruins everything and I'm just a horrible son that can't be happy for him. Why is this happening, Kris?" he pressed his eyes together, visibly trying to stop himself from crying. He lay back on Kris' shoulder, who sat there, feeling utterly useless. Doing the only thing he could to help him, he wrapped his arms around him tightly, running his hands over his back. Tao hid his face on the crook of his neck, and soon an anguished sob ripped through him, his thin frame shaking as Kris felt hot tears dampen his shirt. Knowing words wouldn't be useful, he just stayed there, reassuring him that he wasn't alone. He was there for him. He'd always be. 

After Kris' lips had trailed his neck up and down several times, the sobs subsided and Tao pulled away, eyes swollen and cheeks flushed. Kris wiped away some stray tears, kissing his cheek softly and hugging him one more time before getting up. It was so late it was already early, and dawn would break soon. Wordlessly, he pulled the boy close to him, guiding him towards his parked bike. He wrapped his boyfriend's arms around himself, as so many emotions had worn him out and now he was barely able to keep his eyes open. 

Nudging him slightly when they got to the front of his house, Kris managed to wake his boyfriend enough for him to get down from the motorbike. His eyes still looked puffy, although he wasn't crying anymore, but it pained him seeing the boy like that, knowing there was nothing he could do to make him feel better. 

"Thanks Kris," he mumbled before attempting to turn away, his utterly broken tone hurting him even more than what seeing him crying had. 

He reached for him, grabbing his sleeve and tugging him closer, until they were flushed together, his face pressed to the Panda's soft, black hair. The boy clung to him, burying his face deeper on his chest. Kris pulled away just enough to capture his lips, the salty taste of tears tingling on his tongue. Tao returned it immediately, needy and fast. They broke apart a few seconds later, and he felt cold run through his spine, bringing his boyfriend close once again. It freaked him out how it physically pained him seeing him suffering like that. 

"You should go to sleep. You'll feel better," he mumbled, detaching himself from the grip they both needed so much. Tao's face fell once again, and it took him every ounce of self-control he had not to wrap him with a blanket and take him home. Forever. "Don't make that face..." he trailed off, mind rushing frenetically in search for something, anything he could do to make him feel better. "You'll dream about me tonight. I promise," he took a step closer once again, attaching his lips to the Panda's forehead. Tao nodded warily, reaching up to catch his lips shortly once again. 

"I will," his sheepish smile was replaced by a pout instantly. "But you have to stop."

Kris raised a brow, confused, although somewhat relieved, as despite his raspy voice the boy's tone was back to its usual playfulness. "What?"

"Being all..." he scrunched his nose, a smile playing on the corner of his lips, "Cute and corny. I don't think I can take it anymore," he pouted, a mischievous glint on his eyes, earning a grin from his boyfriend, who decided to play along. 

Huffing, he scowled, "Then you have to stop acting so adorable. I can't help it."

The Panda rolled his eyes, finally beaming. "There you go. Cheesy again," he turned around. Just before entering the house he stopped, smiling at the clearing sky before looking back at his boyfriend. "Happy monthiversary, FanFan."

He chuckled slightly when Kris scowled. Their anniversary was supposed to be the following day. Then it hit him that it already was the following day and he grinned, before frowning. "Hey, I was supposed to say it first," he whined childishly. 

Tao laughed under his breath, "Too slow. Bye Kris." Once again, he made it towards the door, before stopping and looking at Kris one last time. "You know... I think I like you a little bit more now." And with that, he finally entered the house, leaving his blushing boyfriend behind. Saying that he had trouble sleeping after such a silly comment would be an understatement. 

A/N: Hey guys! Chapter 14 already! This one turned up pretty long, so we decided to split it into three. So expect a bonus update around Tuesday or so. Also wow! 200 subs. Thank you so much to everyone who reads/comments/whatever. We really love hearing from you, so please, feel free to stop by our Tumblr, or comment here. See you soon!


	16. Chapter 14 2/3

The following morning, they both earned suspicious glances from their friends, seeing as they were barely able to stand on their feet. But Tao looked a lot better, despite his exhaustion, so Kris didn't actually mind at all. The morning dragged heavily, and even if they had called the tutoring lessons off, they ended up spending their evening in the library, comfortably leaned against each other. After all, it was there where everything had begun. 

Despite their drowsiness, they still had to go to their respective practices, so Kris shook his boyfriend softly, pecking him on the lips. The boy opened his eyes slowly, only to close them again instantly and nuzzle deeper into his boyfriend's neck, sighing contently. Kris had half a mind to let him sleep and close his eyes himself, but they both had their responsibilities, and he knew the Panda wouldn't like it if he missed the practice. He walked him towards the gym with a hand on his waist, seeing as the boy could barely stand on his feet. Thankfully, they didn't run into anyone who could question them about their contact, and he made a note to make sure the Panda slept well that night. Tao clung onto him when they were about to get into the gym, placing his hands on the elder's hips and resting his head on top of his shoulder. He mumbled something unintelligible and tightened his grip on Kris, letting him go a moment later. Kris' heart did a painful leap when he looked back at his boyfriend, who was smiling slightly as he rubbed his eyes. He looked freaking adorable, hair disheveled and clothes slightly disarranged, and when he finally stumbled towards his team, he didn't miss the sneaky glances his friends shot his way. 

Kris waited for his own practice sitting outside the school, hoping for the fresh air to dissipate his lingering drowsiness. He wasn't one to sleep a lot, but he was definitely used to more than a couple of hours per night. Although he didn't regret it spending the night with his boyfriend. He wanted to believe that he had actually made him feel better, if only a little bit. He wanted to be there for him, to be someone he could rely on. There wasn't a lot he could do to help him with his problems, but at least he had to try.

When he entered the gym, he was pleasantly surprised to find Tao looking not only much more awake, but also way happier than the past couple of days. He was back to his own self, laughing as he attempted to explain a new pose to the clueless first year boys and joking around with his friends. A smile crept up into his own face, and it only widened when he caught the Panda's eyes and said boy smiled brightly at him. 

Seeing him so lively again, Kris ended up deciding that their first monthiversary couldn't go by so uneventfully. All the anxiety, worries and doubts had been worth it, and that deserved a celebration. Tao still needed to sleep, so they settled for sitting around in their coffee shop. Kris smiled at his boyfriend as he took a sip from his drink and hummed slightly, his mood even better than that morning. He could see he was still upset over the fact that his father was with someone else, but he had told him, a little reluctantly, that he was trying to come around it. Around the fact that his parents would never get back together, that they had never actually been good for each other. He had let out a sad chuckle when he told Kris about their fights, about his mother crying and his father leaving the house. They were both better apart, he concluded. Even though it hurt. 

But hearing everything his boyfriend had gone through made Kris think about his own parents. He hadn't seen them in over a year, and their communication had been strictly practical. It was kinda sad that he had more of a relationship with their assistants that with them, but he had gotten used to it. Sort of. He laughed bitterly at himself when he realized that he was actually jealous of his boyfriend. At least he had memories about his parents that didn't involve them being on their cellphones and barely speaking neither to him nor to each other. 

"Are you doing something on Saturday?" He asked the boy as soon as they left the coffee place and headed to his house. Tao looked up at him, eyes bright, and swung their joint hands. 

"Nope. Why?"

"I'm taking you out to dinner. Somewhere fancy," Kris beamed, relishing in the way his boyfriend's cheeks turned a pretty pink. 

"Oh. You don't have to..."

Kris laughed lightly, running his thumb over the back of the Panda's hand, "I want to. I'll borrow a car from Chanyeol." Seeing Tao's quizzical look, he continued, "I only have the bike, and I'm not sure we could go to the restaurant on it. Besides, his father owns a car dealership, and he has more cars than I have clothes. So it's not a big deal."

The boy smiled up at him, "Whatever you say, FanFan."

He dropped him at home with a goodbye kiss and a recommendation of sleeping early that night. Walking back to his own house, he finally let go the worrisome thoughts he had had the past few days. Tao was better, he would eventually get to accept his father was with someone else, and he would always have him if he needed someone to be there for him. They had been together for a month and things were better every day. He had so much to be thankful for it was even overwhelming. 

Besides, the exam results had been posted that morning, and he couldn't have been happier. Not for himself, but for the Panda. He had worked so hard they were both ecstatic when he ended up being the first one of his class in almost every subject. Kris hadn't actually been worried about his own grades, seeing as he usually came out pretty good without really trying. But, just as his boyfriend, he didn't just need to pass. He needed to be the best. Only the top five students could apply for a scholarship at the university he was aiming for, and he really needed it. Well, in fact he really wanted it. His parents could probably pay tuition for him in any university in the world. But that was the thing. He was done depending on them. He couldn't exactly leave his house right now, but he was planning on getting a job as soon as he finished school. And having them paying for his education would be the exact opposite of that. He would be forced to study business administration or something of the sort to get ready to be the perfect business man he needed to be in order to take over his father's company. And honestly he'd rather spend his whole life living on the street that doing that for a living. 

But he wouldn't have to. He'd get that scholarship and get to choose what to do with his life. And when he figured out what it was, he’d make sure it was something that made him feel alive every day. 

Without further commotion, the week ended and summer holidays finally begun. Excitement buzzed in the air when both teams sat around their table at lunchtime, and Kris smiled inwardly at how much happier everyone seemed now compared to when they were apart. Their relationship had changed, so had the way people saw them. Kris had changed. And all because of the black haired boy sat beside him. 

Baekhyun had reiterated his annual invitation to his "beginning of summer" gathering that evening, and everyone accepted in the blink of an eye. It had been a tradition for as long as they had known each other, an important one, who made them feel close even when the whole "discrimination against the wushu team" had started. Kris had always thought it was highly stupid and inconsiderate, so he hadn't really paid attention to it. Luckily, neither had his closer friends. He wasn't even sure when it had started, but he was glad it was over. People really needed to get a life if they were so worried about who he was friends with. 

The host's house was almost as big as his own, but when Kris arrived most of his friends were in the living room, piled up in front of the huge television. When his Panda arrived, he was happy to see that he was extremely excited, laughing and joking around, and, as usual, eating. They soon set up a Mario Kart tournament, and then spend a good couple of hours swearing and yelling at each other over the stupid game. Chen ended up beating everyone, yet again, so they decided to order food and put on a movie no one really watched. 

When the evening was almost over and Kris found himself sitting beside Chanyeol, he took the chance to ask said boy for a car, beaming thankfully when he was handed a set of keys without further question. Not long after, Sehun got up from where he was sprawled on the floor, stretching a little before announcing that he and Kai were leaving, and offering Tao a ride. His boyfriend accepted, already a little groggily from the lack of sleep, and Kris had to remind himself not to get too jealous. After all, it was only logical that they drove him home, as he lived close by and everything. So he partially faked a smile and waved them goodbye, feeling a bit warmer when Tao shoot a bright smile his way. When he was about to get to his own home a while later, a message startled him. 

From: Panda

See you tomorrow, FanFan. Goodnight. 

Needless to say, he went to bed with the biggest smile ever. 

Saturday came by bright and warm, a perfect day. As usual, he went running and then returned to his house and wandered around. He was unusually antsy, trying on several outfits and fixing his hair repeatedly when the time to get ready for his date arrived. He wasn't even sure why, it wasn't even their first date or anything, but when he made his way to pick up the car at Chanyeol's, his hands shook a little. 

All that nervousness was gone when he parked in front of Tao's house, though. Because as soon as his boyfriend left the house, he got his breath taken away from him. The sight of his Panda in too tight black trousers and fitted white shirt made him swallow hard before turning back towards the steering wheel, face reddening at the thought of maybe canceling the reservation an driving him back to his place to spend the night. But the moment the boy entered the car and he took in his concerned face, the thought was out of his mind. 

"You need to introduce yourself to my mother," he stated, frown never leaving his face, "As my boyfriend, I mean."

Kris choke on air, spluttering a "What?!" when he regained enough control of himself. His boyfriend finally looked at him, chucking slightly at his reaction. 

"She started going on and on about why was I dressed like this and what have I been doing these couple of days and threatening me to keep me home. I don't know what weird ideas she's getting and it's freaking me out," he sighed. 

"Bu-but now?!" he shifted nervously on his seat. Having to see the woman again after that embarrassing day the previous week wasn't exactly on his plans for the night. "We have reservations!" he whined, holding on to the only argument he had left. 

"I already told her you were a guy," Tao mumbled, and it was enough to stop Kris from having a panic attack. 

"Oh. What did she say?"

"Nothing, really," he smiled a bit, "She didn't expect me to be... You know, to like guys. But it was okay, I guess." His cheeks were now a light shade of pink, and he sounded almost relieved. He had told Kris that he was nervous about telling her about them, although he was pretty sure she'd be supportive about it. Kris wasn't so sure about his own parents. "She asked if it was you and I said yes," the boy interrupted his thoughts, making him clutch the steering wheel to keep his hands from shaking again. 

"And?"

"She smiled," he turned to the sound of his amused boyfriend's voice, "She was still surprised, but I guess she liked you. She wants to meet you, though. So come on."

He got out of the car, leaving Kris to scramble out after him. 

"Wait!" he ran towards him, clutching his hand anxiously, "What should I say?"

Tao smiled upon taking in his freaked out expression, squeezing his hand reassuringly, "Just say hi and that you're my boyfriend. Ask to take me out. Don't worry, it's not a big deal."

But it was. A huge one, actually. He gulped as they approached the door, trying to push back the unsettling feeling on his stomach. 

They got into the house, making their way towards the living-room. Kris took a moment to take in his surroundings. After all, he hadn't had much chance to look around the previous time he'd been there. It was a really nice place, wooden floors matching wooden furniture, a chimney to the side and a deep red sofa in front of it, giving the room a sense of coziness. But a quick glance was everything he was able to get, because just in the middle of the room, sat in a huge dinner table, was his boyfriend's mother. 

Kris bowed awkwardly, Tao's hand still in his. He got a small smile sent his way, and the woman politely asked him to sit down. Doing so besides the Panda, he couldn't help to feel that he was in an interrogation room, a bright light about to be pointed out at his face. 

"Kris, right?" he nodded softly, attempting a smile and failing miserably. "I should've known Tao was dating someone. It's not usual for him to go out so much." He felt a little sight leave said boy's mouth, and with a quick side glance he didn't fail to notice his face was red, and he was fiddling with their intertwined hands under the table. Tao's mother scanned over his face, and he did his best to remain impassible under her scrutiny. Then she nodded and chuckled. "You have good taste, honey," she remarked, earning and indignant "Mom!" from his son and making Kris' face feel even warmer. 

"Tell me, Kris," he raised his eyes, meeting her intense gaze. Despite her smile and relaxed exterior, he was completely sure she wasn't someone you'd like to mess with, "How long have you two been going out?"

Well, at least it was an easy one, "A month."

She beamed, eyes still focused on his. "I hope you're being good to my baby," he nodded energetically, and her grin got wider, "So, where're you taking him tonight?" 

"To a restaurant downtown," he had relaxed a bit, although he still felt awkward. He wasn't even sure how he was supposed to address her. 

"You are graduating next year, right?" she changed the subject completely, leaving Kris to nod his head hesitantly, "So you're a whole year older than my Tao. More, actually. Hm, that's interesting." Tao tensed besides him, and once again he was nervous. But it was soon dismissed when she grinned mischievously, "And how are things going?"

"M-mom!" His boyfriend screeched, but she just brushed him off, laughing as she told him to stop being so uptight. 

Kris smiled as his boyfriend made an annoyed noise. He could see where some of the boy's expressions came from, and it made him feel warm despite of his persistent nerves. 

"You are being safe, right?" she stated. Both boys’ faces turned a deep shade of red, and Kris was sure he had actually stopped breathing. Forever. 

"That's it, we're leaving," Tao got up, dragging him out of his chair. He managed a half asserted bow, making both Tao and his mom hide similar smiles. 

"See you later! Have fun sweetie!" the woman said after them, but Tao was quick to get them out of the house and into their car. 


	17. Chapter 14 3/3

They sat in complete silence for a couple of minutes, still trying to process the whole conversation. When the lack of noise begun to get unbearable, Tao spoke. 

"Well, that was..."

"Horrible? Embarrassing? The most traumatizing fifteen minutes of my life?" Kris piped in, making his boyfriend glare at him before sighting. 

"Sorry about that. I didn't expect my mom to be so..." he let out a frustrated noise at the memory. Kris chucked. It hadn't actually been that bad. In fact, he was relieved to know his boyfriend’s mother was both aware and supportive of their relationship. Seeing the boy's head hung low, he reached out for his hand, messing with his long fingers as he talked. 

"Hey, it wasn't that bad," he received an incredulous look, "Seriously. I had to talk to her eventually, and better sooner than later, right? So don't worry about it."

The Panda finally smiled at him, shoulders relaxing a fraction against the seat, and he let go of his hand as Kris put on his seatbelt and turned the engine on. But after a few moments, a warm hand was placed above his over the clutch. He couldn't help but to smile widely, a renewed wave of enthusiasm hitting him. 

The trip to their destination was quite long, as he had picked a pretty exclusive place. It wasn't exactly downtown as he had told Tao's mother, but it was close, being in a more quiet and private area of the city. It was a really nice Japanese restaurant, known for having private rooms for each table. He was aware of his boyfriend's reluctance to be seen in public. He shared it. Their moments were theirs, not for everyone to see. 

So, he was really looking forward to being alone with the gorgeous boy sat beside him. As he got out of the car in the almost deserted parking lot, he didn't fail to notice the way the Panda's face lit up, making his chest expand at the sight. He was honestly the most perfect being ever, and more frequently that he'd like to admit, Kris found himself lost in him, mind wandering into the boy's every part, every aspect. 

Upon entering the restaurant, they were led to a small room with a kotatsu in the middle. Tao bounced up and down excitedly before finally taking his seat, and just like that, the meal begun. 

Exactly as he had expected, the Panda loved all sorts of food, and Japanese food was no exception. After he was done eating a meal intended for two on his own, Tao looked him in the eye and thanked him quietly. It wasn't just for the dinner. It was for being there for him the past month, and even before. For staying up all night because he didn't want to sleep. For talking to his mother and seeking her approval. For going through all that trouble to make sure they had a private table. It was a thank you for everything. And Kris knew it. So he smiled and held his hand. "My pleasure."

Kris was just about to unlock the car's door when warm arms hugged him from behind. After paying the bill, they had made their way towards the car. 

"Are you taking me home already?" Tao mumbled, resting his head on his shoulder. 

Kris nodded, surprised by the question, and chuckled softly. "Your mom told us to be home early. I don’t want to make her upset just when she is getting around the idea of us dating."

He turned around, coming face to face with his beaming boyfriend. 

"We still have some time," he said, before yanking the keys away from him, unlocking the car before pulling him towards the back door. 

"What for?" he asked, more than a tad confused. Tao smiled at him widely and took a step closer, until his back hit the cold door and the boy could whisper against his lips. 

"Payback."

Realization hit him as a smile made its way to his lips and warmth settled on his stomach. Tao pulled him away from the door, opening wide and telling him to get in. After closing the door behind him, though, the mischievous look left his face for a moment. 

"Can you see from outside?" he questioned, tone slightly worried. 

"If I told you yes, would you stop?" Kris smirked back. 

The Panda narrowed his eyes at him before throwing himself forward, into Kris' lips. He kissed hungrily, expertly. He had improved a lot, Kris thought lightheadedly as he gasped into the boy's mouth. But he regained control of himself soon enough, and then Tao was pulling away, pushing him harshly deeper into the seat, until his back was pressed against the door. Removing his shoes, he spread his legs for the younger boy to settle between them, and in that instant they were flushed together again, tongues dragging against each other, desperate for more contact. Tao's hands were tugging at his hair, fingertips running over Kris' neck as he rubbed the boy's back, gripping his waist tightly. Kris slid down until he was almost completely lay down on the seat, the weight of his boyfriend on top of him. He moaned into the kiss when Tao pressed himself more firmly against him and moved slightly, the friction between them sending a shooting wave of pleasure through Kris's spine. 

It only made electricity run through him harder when he felt the boy's smile against his lips, so he lowered his hands until he was able to grip the boys butt and create that friction again. It was now Tao's turn to moan as he sped up the kiss, nibbling and sucking at the other's lips. The lack of oxygen made them draw apart, joining their foreheads as gasps and grunts caused by their joined hips left their lips helplessly. 

Without ceasing his movement, Tao sneaked his hand beneath his boyfriend's shirt, caressing the soft skin there as he sped up the rhythm of his hips. Kris could just lay there weakly, too overwhelmed by all the attention the Panda was giving him to do anything more than gasp.

But then the friction was gone and Tao sat between his legs. His hand came to cup Kris' clothed member, making him moan rather loudly. Kris felt himself grow hotter and hotter with each stroke, as the boy kept a slow pace for a couple of minutes.

"Pull them down," he instructed when he was too warm and too bothered to handle it anymore.

Tao smiled up at him, unzipping the pants at a maddeningly slow pace. Kris pushed his hips upwards to help him remove them, pulling them up to his knees before stopping. The boy was staring at his pretty obvious erection still covered by his boxers when he propped himself up on his elbows. 

"You know, you'd get a better view if you got them off," he chuckled, voice trembling slightly in anticipation. A dirty look was thrown his way as the boy locked his fingers beneath the waistband of the boxers, pulling them down in one swift movement. 

"Already so hard?" he sneered when Kris member wasn't trapped by the piece of cloth anymore. 

"At least I'm not the only one," said boy pouted before lifting his foot, pressing it firmly against the younger's crotch, making him flutter his eyes closed and let out a surprised choked moan. It was by far the hottest thing he had ever seen. Tao pushed the foot out of him, glaring at the boy. 

"But it's fine if you are with me. Only with me, okay?" Kris beamed. 

Tao gaped at him before laughing softly. "Seriously? Now of all times you decide to get cheesy on me?" He leaned back down, placing a tender kiss on his lips. Trembling. The Panda was nervous and it only made the sparkle of love inside of Kris grow deeper. 

Pulling away, Tao wrapped his fingers around his member as he traced patterns on his thigh with the other hand. Kris shuddered as the coolness of his palm contrasted with his burning skin, but when the boy twisted his wrist a completely different kind of shudder ran through him. He gasped for air, not missing the small smile in his boyfriend's face. But it was soon replaced by a look of deep concentration as the boy leaned down, breathing over the head of his cock. Kris' breath hitched at the sensation and he closed his eyes as even sharper pleasure bolted through him. 

"W-what are you doing?" he breathed out, reopening his eyes to the best of his abilities to look at the boy, who was sporting a determined look. Leaning further down, he liked the head. One. Two. Three times. By then, Kris had lost all ability to keep himself up, his elbows giving up beneath him and his head thrown back. Hotness surrounded him as the boy's mouth closed around his head, tongue swirling inside it. Tao sucked slightly, making Kris scream out under him, before letting it go with an erotic pop that had Kris whimpering again. 

"Hey! You have to look at me while I do it!" he whined. When Kris finally managed to put himself together enough to open his eyes, he found his boyfriend completely red faced, lips moist and lightly swollen. Gorgeous. He nodded quickly and the boy leaned back down, taking most of his length into his mouth without hesitation. Kris's arched his back, hands fumbling to find somewhere to get a hold from. When neither the seat nor the window helped, he twined his fingers through the Panda's black hair. He tightened his grip to avoid bucking his hips against the heat of his mouth when Tao started bobbing his head up and down, moaning around his cock every time he touched the back of his throat and sending vibrations throughout his body. He removed himself and licked a wet strip along the underside of his length before pressing the tip of his tongue at the slit, driving Kris almost over the edge. But then he surrounded Kris again, and he felt the familiar tug at his lower stomach that told him he was close. Really close. 

"Panda," he croaked out, moaning when the boy looked up at him with his mouth still around his cock, with no intention of stopping. "Tao. I'm- I'm gonna-" Seeing no move from him to let go, he pulled at his hair. Hard. Tao whimpered and tightened his grip at his base. And it was all it took for Kris to go over the edge, body going limp from the intensity of his orgasm. 

As soon as he regained control of himself, he looked towards the Panda. He was staring down at his member's final spasms, face spluttered with semen. Kris felt his stomach drop, and he scrambled to sit down to the best of his capacities. 

"Shit! Sorry Tao!" he blurted out, not sure of how to fix the situation. Great. He had ruined the moment. 

The boy lifted a hand to his face, wrinkling his nose when it came down covered in white. "Gross," he mumbled, frowning back at Kris, "You should have told me you were going to take me out like that!" he scolded, the pout on his lips contrasting with the general state of his face. 

Kris ran a hand through his hair, "I know, I know. I'm so so-"

"You should've let me swallow. This is way grosser," he commented, face flushing slightly as he stared down at his hand. And Kris' jaw went slack. He seriously would prefer to swallow him? And why had the thought of it sent a little tingle down his body?

Snapping out of his trance, he reached into the front seat to grab a box of Kleenex, handling Tao a couple as he himself grabbed some to help him clean his face. The boy shut his eyes close as wiped it all away, and he looked so unfairly endearing he wanted to hug him and never let him go. He sighed, guilt and worry invading his senses. 

"I'm sorry Panda. I really am."

"It's okay."

"Really, please!"

"I said it was fine!" Tao bubbled with laughter at his concerned tone, making the knot that formed on the pit of his stomach dissolve in the blink of eye. Tao begun cleaning him from his own mess and chuckled, "It was just unexpected. That's it." he smiled warmly as he tossed the filthy paper to the side. "Better?" Tao leaned forward and placed a short kiss on his mouth, still smiling after pulling away. 

Kris smiled back. "A lot better," he mumbled against his lips as he pulled him in for a longer kiss. 

They lay back down without even bothering to fix themselves any further, energy completely drained. With his face buried on the boy's silky black hair and his arms wrapped around his thin frame, Kris couldn't have been happier. 

But, of course, his freaking phone just had to ring on that precise moment. He decided to ignore it, though. There was nothing more important that the moment he was having right then. 

"Aren't you gonna answer?" Tao asked from his place against his chest, warm breath tingling at his skin even through the shirt he was still wearing. 

"Nah. It isn't worth it."

"But it could be something important. You should pick up," the boy looked up at him and... How was he supposed to say no? But he wasn't sure if he could handle talking to someone else in that moment. So instead, he suggested listening to the voice mail. If it was important, he'd call back. Tao nodded happily and pressed himself deeper into his chest. God, sleepy Tao would be the death of him. 

He fiddled with his phone, and, after a few moments, Chanyeol's deep voice boomed through the car. 

"Hey Kris... Listen, you never told me why you wanted the car for. And I was just talking to Lay and he mentioned you were with Tao. So... Can I have my car back? Like... Right now? Are you there!? Pick up you fu-" 

The beep signaling the end of the message boomed through the car, silence surrounding them as they both lay frozen, completely shocked. That’s it. He’d have to kill Chanyeol for always interrupting them. Tao was the first one to react, face an unnatural shade of red as he sat down and arranged his clothes. 

"Fix yourself!" he shrieked a couple of octaves higher than usual before leaving the car and slamming the door shut. Kris realized his pants were still down and he rushed to pull them back up, a furious blush threatening to graze his face. Buttoning back the buttons of his shirts that had come open and putting his shoes back on, he followed after his boyfriend, beaming as he spotted him leaning against the front door, head in his hands. He pulled him into a hug, laughing after seeing he was now even redder than before. 

"Don't laugh! You idiot!" He went to the passenger door and Kris held it open for him, his angry exterior threatening to crumble completely as his lips twitched into a smile. "Hurry up. My mom is waiting for me and you need to get the car back to Chanyeol," he said as he got into the car. 

The parking lot was completely empty. Luckily, nobody had seen them. Kris made his way towards his side, catching a glimpse of his boyfriend's full blown smile. Getting into the car, he intertwined their fingers. 

"As you wish, my Prince," he stated, and he began the drive back home with the most beautiful sound ever: his boyfriend's laughter. 


	18. Chapter 15

Painfully, he still remembers it. Like it was yesterday, actually. The day his life had changed forever. The day his parents decided to get divorced.

Almost exactly a year ago, the previous summer, one of their fights wasn't like the ones before. There was no yelling. No swearing. No threatening. Nothing. But it still made fifteen year old Tao want to lie on his bed and cry forever. Because they didn't look at each other's eyes. Because there had been no hesitation in the conversation. Because despite the fact that they had tried to keep their voices down, Tao had heard it. The word he dreaded the most. The word that made him feel that distinctive pain of knowing something had been broken beyond repair. Divorce. 

Sixteen year old Tao still had a hard time coming around the idea that the two people he loved the most didn't love each other. That his mother had had little trouble putting a sea between them. That his father was with someone else. 

After hearing the news of his dad's new relationship over the phone, he had felt nothing. Emptiness. The cold feeling of his somewhat childish hope dying. The hope that one day his father would show up at his door in Korea, that his mother would hug him and they'd get back together. The hope that they'd be a family again. It all had been crashed by one single phone call. He had lain sleepless that night, head empty and heart full. He didn't even feel like crying anymore. Love fades away. That's what his mother had told him after the divorce. Love fades away. 

But he was better now. And all because of one person. An angel that made everything better. It hadn't been a coincidence, him moving away and meeting the angel. It seemed some kind of miracle. He had dragged himself through life for so long, pretending to like being alone, pretending to be fine after their parents separation, pretending to be excited about moving to Korea. Pretending. He didn't have to pretend with the angel, though. The angel made him feel better as soon as he stepped into his life. Cured him from his sadness. Loneliness. Boredom. Emptiness. Fear. Saved him from falling. And brought happiness. Utter, complete happiness. His Kris. Holding his hand. Brushing his lips. Hearing his voice. Feeling his warmth, his touches. His smile. Voice. Having a reason to check his phone every morning, a reason to stay awake late at night. To meet new, amazing people. To have someone holding him when he was about to fall. Someone who could make him feel better just being there, not a word said. 

They hadn't been long together. But Tao could already feel every thought drawn towards Kris. It was true, no matter how silly and kind of obsessive it may sound. Looking back, life seemed gloomy in comparison. Like a constant yet imperceptible pain had always been there, dulled by time. He felt so alive now. He was happy. So happy it scared the shit out of him. Even pain felt rawer, but now he knew he wasn't alone, he had his mom and his friends. And Kris. 

Love fades away. He didn't get it. How could love fade away? He had accepted it at the moment, that love was something that never lasted and you just had to deal with it. But he refused to do so now. He knew better than it. He knew his love for Kris grew stronger and stronger every day, every moment together. The boy made sure that he felt like that every day. Kris wasn't one of big events. He was quiet and reserved, jealous of their relationship. And Tao wouldn't have it any other way. 

It was the everyday things he cherished the most. Waking up every day to a good morning message, falling asleep with a goodnight one. Feeling down after finishing his dessert and having his boyfriend place his own in front of him, saying he didn't really want it with a shrug and a shy smile. Getting frustrated over an assignment and having a hand pointing out his mistake, someone sitting beside him until he got it right and then looking so extremely proud of him it made his heart swell. Complaining about back pain after practice and having a warm hand rubbing gently at the spot. Commenting nobody was online and having Kris connecting to the RPG to play with him. Having someone who'd stay up all night with him on the phone just because he didn't want to sleep. Someone who'd hear him blabber about wushu for hours despite not being the least bit interested about it. Someone who knew what cake to ask the waitress for even before Tao opened his mouth. Feeling the jealousy on his eyes whenever he wasn't the one to take Tao home. Knowing when he needed a hug. Or a kiss. Being there when no one was. When no one had ever been.

The angel could do so much better, though. Tao didn't deserve him, didn't know who to thank for the miracle that he was. And he was planning on being selfish. He wouldn't let the angel go, for once he'd put his own happiness first and pray every day for his angel to feel at least a bit of his joy. 

Their first week on holiday went by pretty calmed. He came to the conclusion he'd do anything for his boyfriend when he started waking up at ungodly hours every day, even if he'd rather stay in bed until midday. They'd have breakfast together, sometimes at their small coffee shop, sometimes sprawled in the grass in the park, and then spend the rest of the morning sitting somewhere, chatting and trying to escape from the suffocating wave of heat that had hit the city. Despite it being hard to breathe and even harder to move, heat did have its advantages. For one, Kris wore tank tops. What meant arms. Glorious arms. Tao would lightly trace a finger up and down their lines, dragging his fingertip along heated skin, from Kris' tattoo on his shoulder to his wrist. Kris didn't seem to mind. Sometimes he wore sunglasses, too. Those days were plain out torture for Tao. The whole blonde-glistening-hair, sunglasses and tank top look was too much for him to handle. It made him slightly dazed. His boyfriend was unfairly perfect.

But that blissful time together couldn't last the whole day, as much as Tao wanted it to, as around midday all their friends got together to have lunch. Whether at one of their enormous houses or at a restaurant, they always ended up getting way more food than necessary and then spending the rest of the lunch cracking jokes at each other. Seeing them all like that was definitely one of Tao's favorite moments of the day. After that, the whole group made their way towards the school. Due to the inter schools basketball tournament starting right after the summer, the team had decided to increase their practice time, so now they occupied their side of the gym from three to seven. It usually meant that Tao ended up spending his evenings at home, by himself, playing that stupid RPG game Kai and Chanyeol had gotten him addicted to. He didn't even like it that much, but he was alone and on holidays, it wasn't as if he had a lot to do anyway.

During that week, only one thing had changed in their relationship. One that had been messing up with his head for a couple of weeks now. After the first handjob he had ever received, his relationship with Kris had gotten more and more physical. He hadn't known what to expect, his only previous experience being with his hand, but once he had ripped through the uncertainty, it had been so incredibly mind blowing he had felt the need, the pure want to return the favor, to make Kris feel as good as he had.

He knew that the boy didn't want to make him feel pressured, so when the time came Tao decided to take the matter in his hands. Literally. What he didn't actually expect was to want to take Kris on his mouth. To want to taste him. He loved being able to drag those sounds from the other's mouth, to be the only one able to hear them. They had helped easing his previous concerns regarding his lack of experience. And knowing they were somewhere relatively public somehow increased his excitement. After that their touches had been simply different. Wandering hands ran along heated skin without asking for permission. Flushed together, hips rutting against each other, wanting more. More contact. More skin. More. 

And well, it had gotten Tao thinking. Because he was, in fact, a very normal teenage boy with a hot boyfriend. No problem. Only that there was a problem. He didn't actually know anything. A few touches and mindless kissing didn't make him an expert or anything. To be honest, he had only realized he liked penises a couple of months ago. Well, he wasn't even sure about that. He had never been interested in women. Nor in men, for the matter. Just in Kris. He was... Krissexual? The thing was that the only thing he knew was that he wanted to have sex with Kris. Who wouldn't, right? But he was scared. Freaking terrified. He trusted Kris blindly, knew the boy would never hurt him. But he had also been investigating online, and everything indicated it was really painful. And Tao didn't want that. Despite having talked about sex with Kris in more than one occasion, they had been purely hypothetical scenarios. And he wanted to change that. Maybe. He just needed that one last push.

Said push came one evening at the library. They had resumed their lessons, just for half an hour, as to finish their summer assignments as soon as possible and be completely free for the rest of the summer. They already had plans for it. Tao had been invited, along with his friends and, most importantly, Kris, to spend two weeks at Chanyeol's house in the mountain. After the initial shock of realizing all his friends were rich enough to have summer houses in the mountain, Tao spent an entire weekend coaxing his mom into letting him go. After much begging and promises to behave, he had been allowed to go, on the condition that his homework was done before the trip. So Tao would have liked to be able to say they spent that half hour completely dedicated to their books, but he'd be blatantly lying. Because every time he got an answer right, he got a kiss. What turned out to be a really good teaching method, but not so effective on keeping him focused. 

One of those evenings, Tao had been struggling with a Physics problem for a good ten minutes when after a few presses of his calculator he was finally able to solve it. Jumping out of his seat, he made a little victory dance, flushing deep red as he realized what he was doing. Turning to look at Kris, he half expected the boy to be cackling at him. But what he saw instead was a warm smile, one of those that made Tao's heart swell and knees weaken. Pulling him forward softly, he felt his boyfriend's lips on him, soft and addictive. When Kris pulled away after a too short moment, Tao needed more. He attached their lips together again, tugging insistently at Kris' shirt, bringing him impossibly closer. Despite the quite awkward position they were sitting in, the kiss lost its initial innocence, turning deeper every passing second. Tao almost whined when the elder broke the kiss, only to be interrupted by Kris telling him to sit on his knees. 

"What?" he shot the boy an incredulous look, "No way, I'm too heavy." 

Kris chuckled at him, "Believe me, it won't be a problem. Now get up." 

Tao did so albeit hesitantly, still unsure about the whole matter. Kris grabbed his hand, yanking him forward, and making him lose his balance and land swiftly on the boy's lap. Tao squirmed to free himself, but a firm arm wrapped around his waist was holding him back. 

"Hey, stay still," Kris managed while still trying to keep an almost hysterical Tao from falling. 

"Let me go! This is so freaking gay!" 

Kris laughed at him, placing a hand over his mouth, effectively keeping him from moving, "Keep quiet. We are still at the library, remember, Panda?" he flashed a coy smile, "Now, come on. Face me."

Tao wanted to slap the damn smile from his face. Moreover, he wanted to slap himself for finding it so incredibly perfect he lost all ability to protest. He somehow managed to turn around without getting up, instead ending up in a tangle of limbs. But barely a moment later, he was facing Kris, whose smile was now completely smug. Tao hated him. 

He didn't have much time to dwell on that last thought, though, as soon their lips joined again, a much more needy pace making them both gasp into the other's mouth. As he had been doing for the past few weeks, Tao thanked the skies above him for their table at the library. Being one of the last ones by the far wall opposite to the entrance, it was completely hidden from curious eyes, and not even the elderly librarian went that far to look for anything. The thought ran briefly through his mind as the kiss got more frantic, Kris' hands running along his spine, while he searched for leverage grabbing at the boy's neck, fingers tangled at his nape. Then Tao held onto Kris' hair, his other hand coming to trace the outline of his clavicle, run his fingertips along his shoulder, under the hem of his t-shirt. When Kris' hands begun to trail lower before settling on his behind, Tao was already quite bothered. The movement only brought them closer, creating a maddening friction between their bodies. Already hard members brushed against each other beneath the clothes, making both boys moan rather loudly into the kiss. Tao couldn't bring himself to care. 

Clinging to his boyfriend's neck and licking on the other's lower lip, he lunged forward once again, repeating the friction and making Kris pant harshly into his mouth. Smiling into the kiss, Tao repeated the movement, and then again and again, rolling his hips and sending a wave of pleasure over his body. The air around them became too hot, making it hard to breathe, and Tao became more desperate. Their bodies were burning against each other, and the friction they were getting was just not enough anymore. 

One of Kris' hands left its place at Tao's backside, instead coming to rest at his lower stomach, the contact making Tao shudder and suck at his bottom lip. When he felt said hand push him away, avoiding their members to touch, Tao whined into Kris' mouth, tightening his grip on his hair. Although, the overwhelming feeling of frustration didn't last long, as the hand begun to trail lower, leaving nothing but heat behind, until it settled on Tao's crotch. The boy gasped, eyes flying open as he broke the kiss to lock eyes with his boyfriend, who simply smiled at him before undoing his short's zipper and button in one swift movement. He begun to run his hand along Tao's length, still covered by his already slightly wet boxers. Tao, head thrown back, groaned at the back of his throat, mouth coming to form a silent 'o' as Kris fastened his pace. The older boy surged forward, capturing his lips once again and biting slightly, swallowing his boyfriend's moans. Tao caught up quickly enough, hand leaving Kris' neck before tracing along his chest until he too got to the waist of his shorts, repeating the elder's moves although a little bit more clumsily. Kris stilled at the touch, staring at him wide-eyed. Tao smiled at him before stroking him firmly, dragging a shuddering breath from the boy. A moment later, though, Kris' hand was back at it, quickly getting the cloth between them out of the way, taking him into his hand. Another wave of pleasure, a thousand times more powerful than the previous one, hit Tao full force, making him press his reddening face to his boyfriend's shoulder. 

"I-I don-n't think w-we should. S-someone could walk on us," he struggled to stutter into Kris' ear, words getting caught at his throat every time the boy flicked his wrist. 

Kris kept moving, tilting his head to the side as to be able to whisper in his ear, voice deep and rough, "I don't think we can stop now, Panda," he gasped when Tao's hand twitched above his clothed member, "Nobody'll see us. There's no one around," he gave a firm tug at Tao's dick, making said boy whimper before burying his face deeper into the crook of his neck. Yeah, there was no way they were stopping now. 

Without changing his position, Tao managed to sneak his hand into the elder's boxers, taking his member and earning a muffled groan. Feeling his face burn, he drew apart from his shoulder, joining their mouths for a heated kiss. He moved slowly, careful but firm. Kris shifted his pace until they were in perfect synchrony, the slow dragging of their tongues muffling their frequent moans. Tao was completely aware of Kris' arm draped around his waist, his own held on tightly onto his neck, as his skin burnt at the touch, liquid fire running through his veins. He could barely hear any other sound but for his blood pulsing at his ears and their tongues' constant movement. When his lungs burnt from the lack of oxygen, he drew apart, losing all sense of rhythm. He was close, he felt it at the pit of his stomach. And Kris was too, judging by the way he was panting hard against his cheek. It was the only thing that kept Tao going. 

Merely a moment later, the heat inside him grew unbearable, whole body shaking from the force of his orgasm. Unsuccessfully silencing a cry, he came hard, slumping against Kris' body. He almost whimpered when he felt the boy's hand still running along his now over sensitive member, but he gathered his thoughts long enough to keep his hand moving on Kris. The boy whined and shook slightly under his touch, and when he took a deep breath, Tao rushed to kiss him, effectively muffling the high moan that left him as he finished.

Leaving his lips once again, he tried to steady his erratic breathing, taking in Kris' scent, feeling his warm semen run along his hand, his wrist. Feeling his heartbeat back to normal, he looked up at Kris, placing a short kiss on the corner of his mouth and sending him a lopsided smile. 

"Maybe I should work harder on my homework next time."

Kris rolled his eyes, laughter a bit rough still, and leaned down to kiss his properly. 

Sighing contently, he stretched his arms and looked around, noticing the quite indiscreet mess they'd made. Still feeling tingly from the intensity of it all, he got up on shaky legs, reaching for his bag and roaming though it until he found a small packet of tissues. He handled one back to Kris and got one for himself, as they tried to get at least visibly clean, paying special attention to where their clothes had gotten a bit stained. 

After helping Kris fix his clothes and getting some help with his own, Tao sat back down at his place on the table. 

He began to put his books away, seeing as it was almost time for Kris to get to his practice. But from the corner of his eye, he could see the boy staring intently at him. After a few seconds and feeling awkwardness climb up to him, he turned around. 

"What?"

"Nothing," Kris mumbled, breaking eye contact. 

"Then why were you staring at me?"

"I just like looking at you, that's all."

Tao turned back around, feeling heat creep up to his cheeks. He could still feel his boyfriend's eyes on him, making his heart pound proudly on his chest. It made him want to run away, away from Kris' stare, away from his feelings. But even more, it made him want Kris. More than ever. It was not a strictly physical want. He needed Kris, he needed Kris to need him. To want him. To love looking at him. To touch him, kiss him, being closer to him. More. 

And that's when it dawned on him. He felt as if a switch had been turned on his mind, and he was finally able to see everything. He wanted it. He wanted Kris. With all he had to give. 

The hand holding his calculator went limp, dropping it thunderously and making Kris jump from his seat, staring at him with furrowed eyebrows. Tao turned, scanning his face before thinking about how he wanted to start such a conversation. 

"When are we going to fuck?" he blurted. Well, that wasn't quite like he wanted it to be. Maybe too straightforward? He shifted as Kris choke on air, feeling somewhat antsy. 

"What!?" Kris finally managed to splutter, looking a bit taken aback. 

Tao squared his shoulders, squeezing every last ounce of courage he had, when in reality he wanted earth to swallow him whole. "When are we going to have sex?" his voice sounded composed and not at all as freaked out as he felt. But Kris was staring at him flabbergasted, mouth slightly opened. Come on. Was it that weird that he was asking about it? Doubt crept on him, that maybe... No. If Kris had touched him like that all those times it was because he wanted it too. They both needed it. 

"Why would you ask that now?" Kris mumbled. Maybe not. Tao felt his stomach drop to his feet, blood rushing from his face and panic pulsing through him.

"You... don't want to?" His throat suddenly felt like sand paper, as he tried to take a shallow breath, "I-I tho-"

"I do, I do!" Kris rushed up, seemingly snapping from his trance, "Just... Whenever you want." He smiled sheepishly, and relief washed over Tao so hard he almost lost his balance, muttering a quiet "okay" as he resumed putting his books away again, heart fluttering on his chest. 

He got up, reaching a hand out for Kris'. "I'll walk you to the gym. Luhan and Minseok are at the football field and I said I'd meet them there." 

Kris took his hand, intertwining their fingers as they slowly made their way towards the gym. It hadn't been the ideal way to ask about it, but at least now Kris knew he was ready. At least he hoped so. 

That evening, he went home feeling lighter than what he had all week. Yeah, he was still scared as hell, but he was also ready. He knew he wanted to do it, he knew he wanted it to be with Kris. It felt right. 


	19. Chapter 16

It wasn't as if they’d set a specific date in advanced. At least, not purposely. But, as he watched Tao sitting on his bed, late-evening sunlight giving him an ethereal gleam, it just felt right. They hadn't wasted much time. Barely a couple of days before was it that Tao had brought up the subject, now being the first Sunday after that. Sunday. Kris had always hated Sundays. But when his boyfriend had suggested it, being the only day neither of them had practice, it had suddenly become a day to look forward. A day to expect. Because that Sunday, they were going to have sex. 

Striding forward and almost shaking from repressed excitement, he emptied the bag he was holding on the bed, proceeding to sit in front of a gaping Tao. 

"What is this?" he asked, grabbing the small bottle and turning it around in his hands. Kris suppressed a chuckle. 

"Lube. And condoms. I'd run out of them," he nodded to himself, "Now we're all set." 

"I know what they are," the boy mumbled gruffly, "I was asking… just because. Never mind." 

It was only when he saw the bottle being placed back on the bed when Kris raised his eyes, feeling a pang of anxiety settle on his stomach as he stared as his completely red-faced boyfriend, who was now eerily quiet. "Is there something wrong?"

"No! No. Everything is fine. It's just... Weird."

It was kind of weird, actually. Not a bad weird, though. One that made him shake with excitement, with possibilities. It wasn't as if Kris hadn't thought about having sex with the Panda before. In fact, he'd been thinking about it for quite a long time. Not to say since the moment he had set eyes on him. But he also knew that Tao was a virgin. That despite his sometimes confident shell, he was pretty scared. So when he had been the one to bring the topic up, Kris had known he was ready. The contrast between that Tao and the blushing one sitting now in front of him was quite remarkable. But it was part of his charm, he guessed. It was both extremely frustrating and endearing. And kinda hot. 

Tao had told his mom he'd spend the night at Kai's, along with Sehun and Kyungsoo. He'd felt bad about lying to her, but the boy was completely sure she'd freak out if she find out his true whereabouts. Luckily, she had granted her permission with no further question. So now here they were, with the whole night for them to have.

"This..." Tao took the lube bottle back in his hands, "Doesn't look very hygienic."

The comment wasn't exactly what he’d been expecting, and that chuckle finally ripped through his throat. "Hygienic?" he reached for the bottle, "Well, it should be. It's a pretty good brand. My favorite, I guess."

"Favorite. Right," the boy shook his head slightly, taking in a deep breath and squaring his shoulders. "Whatever you say, Mr. Expert," he stated, voice laced with obviously fake arrogance.

Kris grinned, opening and closing the bottle, making sure it was easy enough to open it when the time came. He didn't miss the way his boyfriend's eyes were following his hand's movements. "So, tell me, if you're so confident. Do you know whether you want to top or bottom?" 

Tao's head shoot up to look at him, only to avert his eyes a moment after. Color grazed his cheeks once again, and he fiddled with the bedcovers, "I..." he mumbled, "I haven't really thought about it... I thought that maybe you liked one better?"

Kris' features softened, reaching to place both the lube and the condoms on the nearest bedside table. "No, not really. I've done both and I'm fine with either."

"Then..." Tao swallowed, hands wreathing together, "Let me bottom, okay?" he ran a hand through his hair, attempting to hide his face from the embarrassment.

"Whatever you want, Taozi," Kris smiled sweetly and leaned in, placing a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips, smiling still as they separated. Tao slowly smiled back.

A bit hesitantly, the Panda raised his hand until the pads of his fingers were caressing Kris' face, sending a barely perceptible shudder through his body. The elder closed his eyes, taking in the sensation of trembling fingertips gradually becoming more confident. Tao began to place short, barely there, kisses on his lips, the tender skin aching for more contact. And Kris suddenly felt hot. And bothered. And kind of annoyed at the effect those little brushes had on him. He opened his eyes, a little bit dazedly, and looked up at his boyfriend, who was kneeling in front of him. It still took his breath away, how gorgeous he was. How perfect. How he was all his. Kris didn't deserve him, his heart was too pure and Kris had more flaws that he could even count. But when they were together, he couldn't seem to care. 

Reaching up, he placed his hands on Tao's cheek, relishing in the way it flushed a light pink as the boy leaned into the touch. Kris kissed him properly then. He explored his boyfriend's mouth, tongues molding against each other, bringing them closer every passing second. Tao took a shaky breath when one of Kris' hands was placed on his waist, but Kris followed his lips as he tugged at the hem of the boy's shirt. 

Slowly, he began to lift it, allowing his fingers to graze over the heated skin of his boyfriend's waist. Tao squirmed, deepening the kiss impossibly, only breaking it for a moment to allow Kris to finally remove the shirt. But when Kris looked back at him, he was only slightly surprised to find the boy with an anxious expression, hands fiddling once again. 

He sighed, smiling a bit to himself. "Relax."

Tao snapped back to reality, face heating up as he babbled a panicked "what are you talking about?" before turning completely red once again. 

"I said relax, Taozi!" he finally chuckled, hand running through the Panda's hair soothingly. Said boy blinked at him, before frowning and swatting his hand away harshly. 

"Don't treat me like a baby," he pouted, and Kris couldn't help the surprised laughter that escaped his lips after a brief moment of shock. As Tao continued to sulk, he took the time to look at him, taking in his gorgeous features and now slightly disheveled hair. He knew the boy just needed a push, a little something to will him to finally make that step. And maybe he had just the right thing. A smirk pulled the corner of his mouth.

"Then, prove you're not one," he challenged. He could see it had worked, the boy's eyes turning calculative, competitive. And pretty hot. 

In a sudden blur of movement, Tao managed to push Kris on his back, holding him down by his shoulders. Kris tried to break free, despite knowing it was a lost cause. No matter how much he hated it, his boyfriend was way stronger than him. He wasn't exactly fond of feeling weak, but the endless amount of time he spent working out at home, whenever he wasn't playing that stupid game, of course, really had its perks. One of them, Kris' favorite, if he had to choose, was the responsible of him not being able to take his eyes off of the boy's shoulders, even when he should have been trying to get out from their grip. But those were really amazing shoulders, shut up. 

Tao broke his train of thought when he leaned down, capturing his lips for a hungry, addictive kiss. He kissed him breathless for a few moments, tongues hard and insisting. Pressing against his body, he dragged Kris' lower lip between his teeth, eliciting a breathy whimper from the elder. Now fully smiling for the first time in what seemed too long, the Panda left one of his shoulders, partially supporting his weight on the other as not to crush his boyfriend, as the other ran through Kris’ side, before settling at his waist. Kris couldn't help but to hiss when the icy-cold skin of the boy’s hand made contact with burning one as his hand sneaked into the shirt he was already too hot to be wearing. Smile widening, Tao deepened the kiss, hand trailing up as the fabric of the shirt crumpled against his wrist. Kris lifted himself, allowing the boy to finally take the garment off, chucking it to the other side of his room. 

But he couldn't be bothered to check where it had landed, because the second his shirt was off, his boyfriend's hand sneaked between their bodies, fingers leaving nothing but heat as they graced the skin on his stomach. Tao kissed the corner of his mouth, proceeding then to leave a trail of kisses following the line of his jaw, nibbling when he reached the spot just below his ear. He continued on his neck, now sucking harder, earning a couple of breathy moans from the back of his throat. 

Kris was already feeling quite light headed when the hand caressing between his ribs moved, brushing against his nipple and dragging a low groan out of him. He was trembling, nerves raw and breath shallow. But as Tao pressed harder against him, trying to keep him still, their growing erections rubbed against each other, making a wave of pleasure run through their bodies. Tao let out a loud moan, controlling facade threatening to fall off. 

Kris smirked, mind clearing enough for him to speak, although it sounded husky even to his own ears. "Already so hard, Panda?" he mocked, remembering the words the boy had sneered at him. Without waiting for an answer, he took the chance to free his arms from Tao's hold, where they'd been wrenching the sheets besides him. He took hold of the boy's hips, pushing them down harshly and recreating the friction. Tao panted against his lips, eyes fluttering closed. Kris grinned at the sight, letting a breathy chuckle escape his lips. The Panda opened his eyes, glaring daggers at him before burying his head on the crook of his boyfriend's neck and biting. Hard. Kris let out a cry, back arching from the bed, making their members brush again. 

Tao went back to his neck, licking and nibbling the sore spot. His hand returned to his nipple, pinching it just enough to earn a whimper, before he lowered his head, flicking his tongue over it. Kris groaned in surprise, head falling backwards against the bed as his boyfriend continued mouthing and licking and sucking at his chest. Kris was still grinding their hips together, but with every passing moment he grew more and more tired of lying helplessly without being able to do anything.

Seeing the boy distracted at the moment, he took the chance to wrap his hands around his waist, turning them over in one swift movement. Tao blinked up at him, seemingly confused as to why he was now on his back. 

Kris smirked and leaned down, breath brushing the boy's mouth, making him shiver slightly. "I'm done with your games," he fake scolded, raising his hand to Tao's face. "Now it's my turn."

He joined their lips once again for a short kiss, kneeling in front of the boy when they separated. Holding him from the ankles, he pulled him closer. 

"We'll end up falling," he commented realizing just how close they'd gotten to the end of the mattress. Tao, nodded pensively, supporting himself on his elbows. He didn't have much time to dwell on the silly comment, though, as soon Kris began to unbutton his pants, grabbing a hold of both his jeans and his boxers and yanking them off and out of the bed. 

"Wait!" Tao scrambled to sit up, eyes slightly panicked, "I can't be the only one naked!"

Kris stopped him from getting up with a hand on his chest and a gentle kiss. "Just wait a second. There's something I want to try."

Tao looked at him half quizzically and half worriedly until he saw the boy moving further into the end of the bed, feet dangling off the edge. Kris took Tao's pretty hard member in his hand, giving it a couple of experimental strokes. When Tao threw his head back, body lifting marginally from the bed, a tiny moan escaped the elder's lips. He was so unbelievably sexy the sight was driving him insane. Leaning until he was facing Tao's length, he pumped it a few more times, before reaching down and placing a kiss at the head.

Tao's eyes flew open as he panted harshly, "K-Kris!"

"What's up, Panda?" he answered looking back at him innocently before leaning back down and placing another kiss.

Tao threw his head back in surrender. "Don't play!" he scolded weakly. 

Kris smiled, still leisurely stroking Tao. "I'm sorry. I can't help it if you look like this." He was pretty sure the Panda would be shooting him a hatred glare if he wasn't so lost in pleasure.

He closed his mouth around the head, earning a yell from the writhing boy beneath him, and begun sucking as he licked the skin. 

Tao was going crazy, squirming instinctively and moaning, gasping Kris' name once in a while. Kris smiled around the member, slowly starting to go down, taking as much as he could into his mouth. When the tip hit the back of his throat, he swallowed around it, making the boy cry out once again, so he started to bob his head up and down, groaning to ease the annoying gags he had every time it hit the back of his throat. The vibrations created by this were enough to overwhelm Tao, who unconsciously began thrusting up and into Kris' throat. The elder let him do so for a couple of moments, but when his throat started to sting, he lifted his head, placing a hand on his boyfriend's hips to keep him steady. 

"Relax," he hovered above the tip, smiling gently, "Stay still. I can't do my job if you keep moving," he looked up, flashing a grin at the boy. 

Licking a stripe from the base of his cock to the tip, he took it in his mouth once again, the bitter taste of precome invading his taste buds. He could feel Tao holding himself from thrusting up, so he let go of his hip, choosing instead to trace random patterns on the boy's thigh. Feeling he was close, he brought his other hand to his balls, massaging them softly. Tao mumbled incessantly, groaning and moaning loudly. Repeating Kris' name. 

"K-kris! I-I can't anymore," he breathed out.

Kris continued thumbing the velvety testicles until the warm liquid invaded his mouth and Tao spasmed. With a few more strokes, he incorporated, swallowing, and liked his lips. Wide eyes welcomed him when he looked up.

"You didn't have to swallow," he mumbled, blinking as he broke eye contact, cheeks burning. 

"I've been waiting for this way too long not to swallow it," Kris smiled sweetly, climbing over the boy before putting his hands on his hips. Tao turned his head, avoiding his eyes, and he looked so freaking cute it made Kris want to cry. But instead, he kissed his cheek. Tao's eyes flickered, and a second later he was pushing until they were sitting up, facing each other. The Panda scrambled with Kris' pants, trying to pull them open, yanking them off the bed. Kris let him do as he pleased. It always amazed him how much it turned him on to watch Tao like this. The boy stared at Kris' crotch, whose very obvious erection was starting to hurt. Barely grazing the member with his fingers, Tao bit his lips pensively and Kris stiffened a groan. If he kept going like that, he'd come untouched. 

Getting hold of Kris' boxer's elastic, he finally pulled the last garment off, earning a relieved sigh. His fingers begun to slide along the length, thumb circling the head, and Kris wouldn't be able to hold it much longer. He reached for the bedside table, grabbing the lube and a condom for later and placing both items on the bed. 

"Lie down," he instructed the wide-eyed boy, whose eyes widened even further when Kris poured quite a lot of the substance in his long fingers. He nodded numbly, placing himself in the middle of the bed before getting on his back. 

Kris shifted towards him, settling in between his legs. Spreading them further apart, he placed a kiss on the inside of Tao's thigh, smiling when the boy shivered at the contact. He still found hard to believe that this was actually happening. The Panda looked so gorgeous. Just perfect.

Deeming the lube warm enough, he made his way towards Tao's ass, carefully circling his hole. The boy whimpered at the touch, and, when Kris looked up, he found him with his eyes closed, breathing heavily.

"Ready?" he waited for the quick nods before slowly introducing one finger into Tao, pausing when the boy's breath hitched. "Relax," he repeated, hand caressing his hip as to distract him. 

Tao breathed in deeply before nodding once, muscles relaxing slightly. Kris pushed his finger deeper, massaging the walls, trying to ease any possible discomfort the boy was feeling. When Tao groaned, trying to push his hips into Kris, he got the hint, and carefully introduced his second finger. The boy arched off of the bed, a tiny cry leaving his lips. After pushing them in and out a couple of times, the incredible tightness inside Tao easing of a bit, he began to scissor his fingers, turning them and stretching the muscle as much as possible. Tao opened his eyes, asking for more. Kris leaned over him, joining their mouths together as he sped up the rhythm of his fingers. He could feel the boy's erection rubbing against him, his moans against his tongue. Then he introduced his third finger, burying it to the knuckle in one steady movement, barely allowing Tao to get used to it. The boy griped the sheets, the bed header, anything trying to get a hold of himself, before gripping Kris' shoulders, digging his nails slightly. Kris sucked at his tongue, biting his lower lip as he stretched him, searching for the spot that'd make his boyfriend cry out in pleasure. But then he turned his wrist, reaching further into Tao, and the boy left his mouth, a loud moan breaking through his throat. And Kris knew he'd found it.

"A-again," he stuttered, and he didn't have to ask twice before Kris begun thrusting into that spot. Over and over again. Tao screamed, incessant moans and pleads leaving his mouth, as he pushed himself into the fingers. Deeming it enough, Kris ceased his movement, scrambling to kneel back in between the boy's legs and quickly removing his fingers, earning a loud wail and a glare from his boyfriend. 

He couldn't help but to laugh, placing a kiss at Tao's hip and biting slightly. The boy whined and Kris smiled up at him. "Already so desperate?"

Tao frowned at him, "Stop playing and just fuck me."

Kris would've laughed at him, but the truth was that if he kept looking at him and hearing him and feeling him around his fingers, it wouldn't take long for him to finish even before they'd done anything. So he grabbed the condom and began to open it, but a hand on his stopped him. Tao was staring at him intently, before yanking it of his hand and proceeding to open it with his teeth. Kris gaped, trying to burn the image into his mind and keep it there forever. But when the boy paused, latex in hand and cheeks burning, Kris realized he was utterly clueless as to what to do then. Smiling sweetly, he took it back.

"Let me show you."

He gave his member a couple of strokes, looking back at Tao to find him looking at him intently. Smiling, he continued, "So you just put it at the tip and slide it the rest of the way," he did so before looking back up, "Then you press the tip," he showed, sliding his hand to remove the bubble, "to get rid of the air. And that's it."

Tao was still looking directly at him, a concentrated look on his face, and nodded. Laughing quietly, Kris commented, "It's not rocket science, you know."

Tao raised his eyes annoyed before lowering them again and, knowing him, Kris knew he was aware that it was true, but he'd never admit it. He was just too stubborn to do so. Kris smiled, raising his hand to the Panda's cheek and pecking his lips. "Ready?"

Tao smiled back, lying down once again.

Kris positioned himself at his entrance, looking back at his boyfriend before he slowly started to push in. Tao squirmed, clutching the sheets as the elder kept moving forward. He arched of the bed, face contorted in pain. Kris leaned down, running his hands along his chest, tracing his muscles, attempting to distract him. And then he was all the way in and Tao was breathing hard under him. He stopped his movement, waiting for the Panda to ask him to move. He sneaked a hand between them, making his way to the boy's nipple and pinching slightly, dragging a whine out of his mouth. Leaning down, he took it in his mouth, licking it until Tao began moaning, and taking it between his teeth before letting it go, pleased when he noticed it was reddish.

"S-Stop playing. Now," the boy snarled. Kris chuckled before licking his other nipple until Tao panted a breathy "Move."

Kris smiled, removing himself almost completely before giving a little thrust in, maddeningly slowly at first, before settling into a rhythm. He dragged a scream from Tao every time he hit the end, and he wanted to keep this moment forever. Tao around him, so tight and so hot and so his. Squirming, moaning, pleading. Kris needed him so much. Looking down at him, he found the boy gripping the sheets, desperate for support. His hand left its place at his hip and reached up, long fingers curling around Tao's when they met.

"It's okay. Everything is fine," he gripped his hand tightly. Tao opened his eyes to look at him, eyes almost completely black and lips parted, continuous moans escaping them. 

He nodded quickly. "Kiss me," he asked. Kris smiled before leaning down and pressing their lips together, molding against each other. Tao wrapped his other hand around Kris' back, making their bare chests rub against each other with every thrust, Tao's erection earning its much needed friction. The boy begun to push his hips up and down, speeding the rhythm up and making both of them moan in the other's mouth. 

Kris increased his speed, feeling his boyfriend's nails dig into his back, leaving pricking marks. Then that tightness, the one he knew too well, the one who told him he was close, settled on his stomach. So he concentrated on looking for Tao's prostate, changing the angle slightly with every thrust, needing to find it, to make Tao scream. The boy's whole body tightened as he moaned into his mouth when he found it. So he thrust in with all his strength, making the boy scream as he kept hitting that sweet spot, each time harder and closer.

Tao broke the kiss, desperately looking for air, moans rumbling on his throat. 

"There K-Kris! Faster. Please," he begged.

Hearing him begging was almost enough to make Kris finish, but instead he did as the boy asked him, every time thrusting deeper, harder into him, until the bed was rocking with every push and Tao was arching off it into Kris. Lowering his free hand, he reached for Tao's member, pumping it in time with his thrusts. Tao tightened around him, gripping his hand harder, and it was too much for Kris. He finished against the latex of the condom, slumping into Tao, mind clouding at the force of his orgasm. He was fast to get back up and remove himself from the boy, who sobbed at the emptiness, before a couple of firm strokes drove him over the edge too, coming over Kris' hand and both their chests. 

Kris rolled over, settling besides Tao. Still holding his hand, he tried to steady his erratic breathing, heart beating hard and fast against his chest, completely worn out. When he was back to normal, Kris climbed out of bed, giving a squeeze to the boy's hand before letting it go, making his way to the bathroom. He threw the used condom in the trash and washed his hands, staring at the grinning face that looked back at him in the mirror. He grabbed a couple of towels, wetting them before going back to his bedroom. 

Tao still laid there, completely motionless, staring at the ceiling. 

"Is something wrong?" he asked. Anxiety ran through Kris' veins like poison. What if he had hurt the boy, despite all the preparation? What if he was in pain? What if he hadn't liked it? Well, he was pretty sure that was not it. He sat beside him, hand hesitantly reaching out to touch him. The Panda turned to look at him. And smiled. 

"Why hadn't we done that before?" he exclaimed, lifting himself a little. 

And Kris felt all his worries fly out the window, his lips mirroring the smile his boyfriend was wearing. "Did you like it, Taozi?" he asked, bringing his hand to remove the hair stuck to the boy's sweaty forehead. He nodded enthusiastically before taking one of Kris' towels, beginning to clean himself. Kris helped him, running it through his body.

"I'm glad, Tao," he whispered, pecking his cheek, "Now, should we sleep?" he felt drowsiness taking over, too exhausted to even think. The Panda nodded again before discarding the towels to the side with the rest of their clothes. Kris settled underneath the sheets, making room for Tao to snuggle into him and covering them both with the covers. Tao buried his head on his boyfriend's chest.

"Hey, Kris?" he asked, voice laced with sleep.

"Hmn?" 

"Why is it that I like you more every day?" he asked, lips brushing against Kris' chest, who bit his lip to keep his heart from leaving his chest.

"I don't know. Maybe because I'm so handsome," he smiled, trying to keep the happiness that was making it hard to breathe out of his voice.

"Ugh, shut up," he cuddled deeper into Kris. "Sleep."

"I like you too," Kris whispered after a few heartbeats, breathing deeply into the already sleeping boy's black hair, arms keeping him incredibly close, "Goodnight. I hope you like me forever." 

A/N: We're so, so sorry. It's just my OTP and I almost cried several times and I don't know what's wrong with me. So, here's Tao's first time! Did you guys like it? We were almost as nervous as him. But there's still a lot coming up! So please keep subscribing and reading and commenting. We loved last chapter's comments, they really made our day. Sorry I don't answer to every one, but I'm pretty bad at this communication thing. Oh, and we started two new fics, a Sexing (here is the prologue, we'll post the rest soon) and a KrisBaekYeol we've been meaning to write for quite a long time. As usual, here is our Tumblr, feel free to stop by if you want to talk. See you next Friday!


	20. Chapter 17

Warmth. Even before he was awake enough to fully register what was going on, he felt it. Softness. Skin against his. Peace. 

Slowly, Tao managed to open his eyes. Blinking groggily for a few moments, his eyes finally settled on the sleeping figure of his Kris, arms draped loosely over Tao's waist and naked shoulder pillowing his head. He smiled impossibly wide at the sight. It was the most beautiful thing in the world, and Tao thought he never wanted to wake up in another way. 

He laid there for a while, listening to Kris' steady breath, to his heartbeat. Tao raised his hand, taking the boy's hair out of his face and sucking in a breath at the sight. He felt his chest expand almost painfully from happiness, from love. A blush crept up his face as he recalled the previous night, memories fresh and clear. It had been perfect. Completely, utterly perfect. Kris had made him feel so safe, so wanted, so needed. So loved. 

Moving around a little, careful not to wake up his sleeping boyfriend, he checked for pain. He was a little bit sore, and his whole body ached, but at the same time it didn't exactly hurt. And it wasn’t even close to the level of pain he'd been expecting. Giddily, he thought that the more they practiced, less it'd hurt. And he wanted to start practicing as soon as possible.

His stomach grumbled loudly, interrupting the silence of the room and making him notice that he was actually really hungry. He usually was at mornings, seeing as eight hours without food were too much for him, but he wasn't planning on moving. Besides being awfully comfortable in his current position, he wanted to be the first thing his boyfriend saw when he opened his eyes. So he ignored the demands of his stomach and buried himself deeper into Kris' chest, closing his eyes and sighing contently. 

Not long after, the hand resting on his hip moved, brushing softly Tao's back. Looking up, he was greeted with a soft, breathtaking smile. 

"Good morning." 

"Good morning, FanFan," he smiled back, wrapping his arms around the boy in a weird kind of hug. 

"Did you sleep well?" Kris asked after a moment, voice low and laced with sleep, running a hand through the boy's raven hair. Tao nodded, smile widening, before settling back into his chest. 

They stayed like that for a while, enjoying the silence and the peacefulness of the late morning, the feeling of having the other close. 

After running his hand up and down Tao's spine several times, Kris suddenly stopped. 

"You are hungry, right?"

Tao looked up at him, a fake pout grazing his lips, "Starving."

Chuckling lightly, Kris let him go, scrambling off the bed in search of their clothes. As Kris closed the bathroom door behind him, Tao began getting dressed. He was now hurting a little more, although it was nothing he couldn't handle. 

A few minutes later, after Kris had left the bathroom, Tao stood in front of the mirror. He could see every mark, every bruise on his body, could remember how he'd gained each and every one of them. And he wanted to see Kris. To see his marks, the ones he'd made the night before, the ones that showed Kris was his. 

Stepping out of the bathroom, he found the room empty, noises coming from what he supposed was the kitchen indicating his boyfriend's whereabouts. Now, finding where said kitchen was a whole new deal. Because, just as all his other friends' houses, Kris' house was enormous. But there was also something off with it. It felt empty, way too big for a person to live there completely alone. He sighed, wondering what it would feel like to be able to live there with Kris, to wake up every morning wrapped in his arms, to go to bed with him every night. 

After a few twists and turns, seeing as Tao wasn't the most orientated person, he finally came into the kitchen. And Kris was in fact there, standing by the counter surrounded by several ingredients. Inspecting them, he chirped excitedly. 

"Pancakes!"

His boyfriend jumped slightly, surprised by his sudden appearance, but the bemused look he was sporting was soon replaced by a gentle beam at the look of sheer excitement on Tao's face. Stepping forward, he approached Kris, placing a short kiss on his lips and smiling back as they separated. 

After a couple of burnt pancakes that broke Tao's heart, he ended up taking up the job of flipping them, leaving his boyfriend to prepare the second batch of batter as they chatted. Tao's stomach was grumbling painfully now, and as soon as they settled the plates on the table, he dug in. It wasn't until his second plate he noticed the look Kris was shooting him. The one he had grown so accustomed to. His favorite one. 

"You are staring again," he observed after taking a sip from his chocolate milk and sighing contently. Pancakes were his favourite breakfast, and Kris' were the best he'd ever had. 

Kris chuckled before turning back to his barely eaten first plate. "Sorry. Just thinking about how good you looked while eating," he shrugged. 

Tao felt his cheeks heat up slightly as he narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend. He was partially annoyed at himself for still finding those comments so endearing, but also at his boyfriend for being so damn corny all the time. "Cheesy," he mumbled, going back to his pancakes. 

Kris laughed at him, smiling when Tao threw him an exasperated look. But suddenly, his laughter stopped and his face became serious.

"Is everything okay? Are you in pain?"

Tao almost choked on his food at the sudden change in the conversation, but managed to shake his head before swallowing. Looking up to the concern on Kris' features, he smiled shyly, face heating up again.

"I'm fine. Really."

Kris relaxed on his seat, hand reaching out for Tao's. "I'm glad," he smiled as he played with his fingers, and Tao could have cried over how perfect this was. Over how perfect Kris was. "Because I can't wait to do it again," he smirked, tone light and playful. Letting go of his hand, Tao crossed his arms, rolling his eyes. "Corny or pervert. You can't have both," he faked a frown.

Kris grinned before locking eyes with him, a clear challenge on his tone, "Are you telling me you don't want to?" he pouted, and Tao hated him. He really did. He wanted to practice wushu with his stupid, cute, arrogant face. 

"Shut up and eat," he mumbled, going back to his food in a pathetic attempt to hide his rising blush.

"Sure. But remember, Panda: practice makes perfect. And even better with a good teacher," he sneered, obviously trying to provoke Tao. 

But he knew better than to fall for it. Two could play that game. So, putting on his best confident facade, as he'd gotten so used to lately, he shot back, "Right. And is Mr. Expert going to be my teacher or what?" 

"Who else, if not me?" he chuckled.

"Oh. So many teachers..." Tao replied innocently, smile widening when Kris' face fell, smile replaced by a frown. 

"Don't play with me, Tao," Kris leaned forward, small smile back on his face.

"Of course teacher FanFan," he teased.

"You think you are an expert after just one time, Taozi?" Kris rolled his eyes fondly.

Tao tried to fight down the blush, to come up with a witty comeback. But the question had settled and a doubt had stirred inside him, making him feel sick and tired and unsure. Was Kris actually an expert? How many people had he slept with before? How many of them better, more experienced, less awkward than him? He hadn't intended to ask it out loud, but he found himself saying the words before he could stop himself.

"How many people have you slept with, Kris?" he asked, tone calm and dread rushing over him.

Kris seemed taken aback at the question, smile wearing off and leaning back on his chair. "I-I don't actually know. I don't keep a record, Taozi," he took a sip of his coffee. 

It could only mean one thing. A lot. And Tao hated it. He felt jealousy settle on his stomach, making it hard to swallow when he turned back to his food. It didn't matter now. Kris was with him and Tao didn't have the right to be jealous of them. But he was. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw Kris beam at him. "You were the best one, though."

Tao looked up, an odd flutter on his chest. Relief. He shouldn't have felt like that, but he did. 

Although, he wasn't completely settled. There was still something creeping up inside of him. Something he'd wondered even before they'd started dating, even before they'd become friends. 

"Did you have other boyfriends? Or, you know, girlfriends?" he asked, unable to meet the boy's eyes. 

The silence that followed his question didn't help to ease his doubts, if only to make him feel more antsy and insecure. Still, when a low "yes" left Kris' lips, Tao's head snapped up, eyes widening. 

"How many?" he asked breathlessly. 

Kris placed his cup back on the table, looking unusually uncomfortable. "Why all these questions now?" 

"I'm curious," Tao lied, nervous tension keeping him on the edge of his seat, "So?"

Kris cleared his throat, taking a shuddering breath. Tao didn't know what to think anymore. "Counting you?" Tao nodded, "Two."

Oh. Just another person. One. It wasn't so bad. He had basically been ready for Kris to admit he had dated the whole city. Although, it was still worrisome. It wasn't normal for Kris to act like that for a simple question. Tao knew very well he wasn't one to get uncomfortably talking about sex, so that was not it. Then why was Kris still avoiding his eyes? 

"A guy?"

Kris nodded. 

"May I ask?" Tao pressured. 

The answer he got, cold and quick and so unlike Kris ended up messing with him. "I'd rather not."

And Tao tried really hard not to feel offended. But Kris had basically told him to shut up. And was also hiding something. 

"Then, may I know why not?" he tried to swallow down his annoyance. 

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

A loud bang startled him, making him look up to a standing Kris, hands fisted on the table, "I said I don't want to talk about it!" he shouted, "Is it so hard to get?" 

Anger. Deception. Humiliation. A lot of emotions swirled inside Tao before he finally let his fork drop, standing up to be face to face with his boyfriend. Pressing his hands to the table, he tried to keep breathing, not to let the harsh words get to him. 

"Why Kris? What are you trying to hide?" He was met with a cold silence that had something inside him exploding. "Don't I have the right to know?! You know, as your fucking actual boyfriend?" he shouted, throat tightening painfully. 

And Kris finally looked at him. And Tao felt as if someone had punched the air right out of him. Because the cold eyes that glared at him weren't his Kris'. They weren't the gentle ones who'd greeted him that morning. The warm ones that made Tao’s day better just by looking at them. They belonged to the boy he'd first met, the one who didn't like Tao at all and was mean to him. The angry ones. The ones he hated. 

"Can we talk about this later?" Kris snapped, knuckles white from the tightness of his fists. 

"No," he stated as calmly as he could.

Kris stared at him disbelievingly, glare intensifying a moment later. Tao felt his chest begin to hurt, and he needed to get away. Away from the kitchen, away from the house. Away from Kris. Turning around, he made his way to Kris' room, mechanically putting his things inside his backpack. Kris stood by the door, arms folded and brows furrowed. Tao ignored him as he walked out of the door, praying that he was able to find the front door before the tears that were prickling his eyes managed to fall.

"Don't be so childish, Tao!" Kris shouted behind him, and he only fastened his pace. He needed to get out. Now. Yanking the front door open, he heard the boy shout his name one more time before he slammed the door shut. 

And he ran. Vision blurring and chest aching, he ran home. Fumbling with his keys until he was able to get the door opened, he checked for his mom's presence before breaking down on a sob. But not a single tear managed to fall. He was so angry. He felt it pounding on his veins, keeping him from thinking straight. 

Tao buried under his sheets, pressing his hands to his eyes and willing himself to just stop thinking. Because his head hurt and his chest hurt but his heart hurt even more. After what seemed like an eternity, it became quiet inside his head. He didn't know when he'd managed to fall asleep, but was soon woken up by the sound of his mom arriving home from work. He reached for his phone, feeling pain rise up again when he didn't find a single call, a single message from Kris. He did have to delete several notifications from most of his friends, from Luhan to Chanyeol. He then realized he'd missed practice, but he couldn't care less. The physical pain was still there, a not so welcomed reminder of what they'd done the night before. He didn't want to think about it. He wouldn't.

His mother entered his room not long after, confused after seeing his bag by the door and not finding him anywhere. Tao told her he was fine, he'd just caught a cold. He didn't believe it himself. She left him alone after telling him to call if he needed her, and Tao was thankful for it. He didn't feel like pretending not to be dying from heartbreak. At least not for now. Sleep soon overtook him again. He woke at noon after a night filled with nightmares and misery. Anger had subsided, also had sorrowfulness. He was just sad. Emptily sad. He felt his heart pound when once again there was nothing more than messages from his friends waiting for him. The last one, Kyungsoo's, made him curse under his breath.

From: Kyungsoo

Tao are you ok? You missed lunch again.

He texted back a quick "See you at practice" before dragging himself out of bed and making his way to the bathroom. His eyes looked a bit red and puffy, despite him not remembering crying at all. He spent his time on the shower trying to block his thoughts out. Because every time he stopped doing so, those cold, unknown eyes were staring right through him again. Now he didn't even care about the stupid ex-boyfriend, he was just so hurt about how Kris had reacted. About how he didn't trust him.

Doubts dragged him into a hole of self-pity as he slowly walked towards the school. He knew he'd have to see Kris, dreaded it. But he couldn't just leave his team on their own just because he wasn't okay. His stomach grumbled, reminding him he hadn't eaten much since the previous day's pancakes. A couple of meals and some fruit weren’t nearly as much as what he usually ate. He fished for the cereal bar he'd grabbed on his way out, nibbling at it, hungry enough to eat it despite the coppery taste on his mouth. 

After reaching the gym, he couldn't stop himself from looking around, noticing Kris on his side surrounded by the rest of his team. But, seeing as the boy wasn't paying him any attention, he strode directly towards his team, heart heavy once again. He briefly apologized for missing the previous day's practice, relieved none of them asked him why. He felt sick every time his eyes wandered to the other side, and although he realized he wasn't paying the attention he should have to the practice, he couldn't do anything about it. Apparently, he just needed JongHae to snap him out of that pitiful state.

"Sunbae?" A soft voice interrupted his depressing train of thoughts. Looking down, he found JongHae's concerned gaze inspecting him. Despite being only a year younger than him, the boy both looked and acted younger, his baby face making it impossible for Tao to get annoyed with him even when he had to spend almost every practice trying to keep the boy from killing himself because of a bad fall. Besides, he and his friend were awfully formal with him, even when he had practically ordered them to call him Tao. Everyone in Korea was like that. They were weird. "Are you okay?" he asked, and Tao came back to earth, noticing he'd been staring absentmindedly to the other side of the court as he was explaining the boy a new movement.

"Yes! Yes. Sorry."

"I see you a bit absentminded..." the boy said. 

Tao shook his head quickly and then smiled, frowning as it felt weird in his face. His heart fell a little after realizing it was the first time in many months he hadn't smiled for a whole day. Kris usually made sure of it. "I'm fine," he lied, but the boy bought it and smiled happily, turning his attention back to him as he begun to explain the movement from the top. 

After the longest hour of his life, he finally made his way to the locker room, completely exhausted, both physically and mentally. Sitting beside him silently, Minseok handed him a water bottle. Tao drained it in one go, suddenly dying of thirst. His friend stared at him a little wide-eyed. "Are you okay? You seem distracted," he asked.

Was it so freaking obvious? Did he have a sign on his forehead that read 'I'm tired and sad and starving a little and completely heartbroken'? But instead of saying all that, he smiled shortly. "I'm fine. Really," lying about being fine was getting easier every time, and Tao wasn't sure he liked it. 

"Why weren't you here yesterday? And why didn't you have lunch with us? We missed you. It was weird seeing Kris sitting on his own. He looked kind of out of place," he commented lightly, laughing a little. But Tao didn't and Minseok didn't miss it. "We're going to the karaoke. Wanna come?"

Tao really didn't. He wanted to go back home and wrap himself in his blanket, wallowing in self-pity. And cry a little. Maybe. But instead, he said "Sure."

It was fun, he guessed. He wasn't really paying attention. Between trying to look happy enough to keep his friends from worrying and avoiding his own thoughts, he didn't have much spare time to actually enjoy himself. Not that he would have, anyway. He went to bed that day feeling completely drained, soothing sleep saving him from the pain before he had the chance to be alone with his thoughts. He was just glad that awful day was over.

But a day became two and then three. And then it was Friday and he still hadn't heard from Kris. Hadn't seen him. He had stopped attending their friends' daily lunches, hadn't showed up at their park in the morning. Actually, the whole basketball team had been missing the lunches, as they had been practicing even more. And Tao hadn't expected him to show up those mornings, although he hoped he would. Hope. It was slowly vanishing and Tao didn't know what to do, didn't know how to stop it. He missed Kris deeply. He missed everything about him. His smiles, words, touches. The way he was always there for him. It hurt. What hurt the most was noticing how dependent he'd become. He had noticed before, sure, but now he could see every empty moment in his life with Kris' shape on it. And he hated it. He hated himself. But it wasn't up to Tao to fix things between them. He still didn't understand Kris' behavior the last time they'd talked, and the boy hadn't tried to explain himself. And hope was vanishing. Fast.

The endless monotony his life had turned into after just a couple of days was broken that same evening after practice, when he did found a message on his phone. Although it wasn't the one he'd been expecting to see.

From: Yixing

Wait for me after practice, please? (´ ▽ `)ﾉ

After spending more time that he should have wondering why the hell had he texted that cute face, it hit him. Lay wanted to talk with him. Lay as in Kris' best friend Lay. And he really didn't want to talk about it. But he had to, he guessed. He owed it at least to his friend. And it might be important. Or Kris might have wanted to break up with him and had gotten Lay to break the news for him. Just the thought of it made him sick, despite realizing Kris would never do that and he was just being paranoid. They wouldn't break up because of a fight he didn't even understand, right?

He stood awkwardly in the park. Seeing as it was summer and the sun was still pretty much up at seven, they'd decided to meet there, although Tao didn't think it was a good idea anymore. Besides really not wanting to see his friend, the park brought memories, and lately memories weren't his friends. 

He smiled a little when the boy arrived a few minutes later, happily eating an ice cream and waving his hand frantically after spotting Tao.

"Little Panda!" he greeted. Tao scrunched his nose at the nickname. He'd told him several times he didn't really like it, but his friend didn't pay attention to it. Still, Tao only liked it when it came from Kris' mouth. And he missed it really much. He ignored the name and waved back, sitting beside Lay when his friend did so.

"You don't look too well," Lay commented kindly, and Tao sighed inwardly. Yeah, he knew it. He hadn't been sleeping well lately, nor was he as hungry as usual. And it was taking a toll on his body. But he really, really didn't want to discuss it with Lay. 'Especially not if he is here to break up with me in behalf of Kris,' he thought bitterly.

"What did you need to see me for?" he cut out. 

"Oh, ok. Straight to the point, as usual," Lay grinned, "I just wanted to ask you something."

Tao raised his eyebrows, not expecting the conversation to go like that. At least, he didn't seem to be about to break up with him. But he also smiled shyly. He'd gotten to know the boy pretty well those past months, and was pretty excited to see what he was going to come up with.

"I need you to talk with Kris," he stated calmly, taking a bit of his ice cream and beaming appreciatively. 

Tao choke on air. "What?!" he managed to splutter.

"You know. A message or something?" he said casually.

Tao felt blood rushing to his cheeks, "Why would I do that?"

Lay sighed before taking another bit of his ice cream, "Because Yifan's been calling me about you not talking to him every night for four nights in a row and I can't take a fifth one. Mean it," he sent a pointed look his way.

Tao tried to defend himself, but Lay didn't give him the chance to, "Look, I don't know what you guys argued about, and I don't really care, but he's not happy and you obviously aren't either so it’s been enough. Besides, it's not only affecting you two anymore but also me and the rest of the team. Let’s just say Kris hasn't been at the top of his game lately. So figure something out and lets go back to normal," his tone was firm and serious, despite the caring smile still on his face. 

"Why should I call him?! I'm not going to!" he shouted, frustration slowly building up. 

"Oh, was it his fault? Should have guessed it. He's not the best one dealing with his feelings," Lay chuckled.

Jealousy ran through Tao like acid. Lay had known Kris for so long, was so permanently knit in his life, he felt he'd never get to know Kris as well as Lay did.

"Do you know about Kris' ex?" he asked warily. 

The boy's face visibly closed up, staring at him blankly. "I..."

"You do! Right?!" Tao left the bench, coming to stand in front of the boy.

"Well... I guess you could say so. But it is… complicated," Lay scratched his nape uncomfortably.

"Wait! You-Were you..." he trailed off, feeling slightly sick at the possibility that'd run through his mind.

"Was I what?" Lay frowned, and Tao could've pinpointed the exact moment it dawned on him. He began to shake his head, moving his arms frantically, "No, no no no. I've never seen Kris that way. I meant that yes, I was there when it happened," he paused, eyes sadder than before, and softened his voice, "I didn't know you'd fought about that."

"I just want to know," Tao mumbled before sitting beside him again. His chest felt heavy and now he wasn't even sure why. This ex thing seemed bigger than what'd thought, and he didn't want to think about it. But he couldn't stop doing so either.

"It's not up to me to talk about it. You should really let Kris explain himself."

"I did! I tried! He just brushed me off and shouted at me!" 

"You need to understand, Tao," Lay hurried up as Tao's desperation grew almost tangible, "It's not easy for him to talk about it, and I don't have the right to tell you about it."

Tao stood up, hands fisted at his sides and even more frustrated than before. "It seems you'll be getting another call tonight."

And with that he left the park, heart beating hard and wondering bitterly how his week could have started so perfectly and ended up so desperately wrong. 


	21. Chapter 18

He glared at his cellphone. He had come to hate it. That little, stupid device. Tao's name on its screen. Just one hit of a button away. He just had to do it. To call. Just call. So he pressed it, swallowing hard as the waiting tone echoed inside him. Until he didn't hear it anymore. 

After a short silence, a low voice rasped out, "Hello?"

"I can't do it, Lay. I can't call him." 

"For god's sake Kris! Don't you own a watch? It's two in the freaking morning go to sleep!" 

"But Lay-" 

"Shut up." 

After a few moments of silence, Kris stuttered, "L-Lay?" Silence. He'd hung up. What a great best friend. Hitting the call button again, he waited until he heard a groan. 

"Why are you calling again?" 

"Because I need your help!" he retorted childishly

"What the hell do you want me to do?!" he shouted, clearly pissed off, "I'm freaking exhausted! We've practiced for hours today and I have to be the one trying to fix your mistakes and the freaking Panda walks out on me and I just need to sleep!" he rushed out, breathing heavily for a moment until what he said sunk in on Kris. 

"Wait. You talked to Tao?!" he clutched the phone "What did he say?" 

"Fuck," Kris heard the rustle of sheets on the other side of the line, although his thoughts were entirely somewhere else. Tao. Why had he talked to Lay? Why hadn't he talked to him? Was he okay? Did he hate him? He hoped not. But he was worried. Really worried. And he missed the Panda.

Silence settled on them before Kris broke it, voice soft and a little unsure, the one he allowed very few people to hear. "How is he?"

"Why haven't you told him about Wooyoung?"

Kris froze at the name. It had been long since they'd talked about him, even longer since they had mentioned his name.

"You told him," he said disbelievingly, fire running though his veins.

"Of course not! Who do you think you're talking to?"

Once again the call was ended, and Kris let out a shaky breath, still feeling uneasy. 

"I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you too," he mumbled as soon as his friend picked up the phone once again.

"I know. I just wanted to see if you'd finally stop calling. Guess not."

"Idiot. You're not helping, you know."

"How do you want me to help? You keep turning my advice down!"

"Your advice is stupid."

"Your face is stupid."

Kris scoffed. Lay must have been really exhausted if he was back to his twelve year-old self. Kris had hoped he'd never have to hear that phrase again. Thoughts roaming back to what was making him have this phone call in the first place, he closed his eyes.

"I can't tell him," he stated, "I know I should but I can't tell him about Wooy-" he clenched his teeth, "I just- can't." 

"Why not?" asked the reassuring voice on the other side.

"Because it'd be like dragging him into the problem! I don't want that!" he ran a hand through his hair, "He'll probably pity me."

"No he won't."

"You don't know that! He very much could!"

"If you think so then you don't know the Panda at all," Lay chuckled.

"Don't call him like that!" he snarled half-heartedly. He knew Lay was right. Tao would never pity him, wouldn't stop liking him. But he still didn't want to involve the boy in the issue. He still believed in people, in that there was something good inside of everyone. Kris didn't want to be the one to change that. The past would only bring up painful memories, would only hurt them. Both. But it was gone. Tao was his present. And, hopefully, his future. It was all that mattered to him now. 

"Why don't you call him instead of me?" Lay suggested, suppressing a yawn.

"What if he hangs up?"

"He won't."

"But what if!"

"Oh my god Kris! How old are you! Last time I checked you were a seventeen years old guy, so stop acting like a girl on her period and grow a pair!" Lay snapped. Kris frowned at his phone, unsure of how to answer to that.

"You'll have to talk to him about Wooyoung sooner or later, you know," his friend sighed finally, voice sleepy.

"I'll take later."

"Good night."

"Wait! Don't hang up!" he heard a low growl, "Just- How is he?"

Silence followed his question, weighting down on him. "You should ask him yourself. Bye, Yifan."

Kris held his phone tightly for a long time, knuckles turning white. It had been almost a whole week since he had last slept properly, barely able to drift off to sleep for a couple of hours, waking up drenched in sweat and feeling horribly empty.

The first night had been the hardest one. Tao's scent lingered on his bed, on his pillow, clouding his thoughts and making it impossible for the pain to go away. But instead of getting better, it got actually worse. Because the scent began to fade away. And Kris got increasingly desperate. Anxious. And he missed him. A hell of a lot. And he was just so angry. At first he'd been mad at Tao. For not getting that it was a difficult issue. That it was hard for him to talk about it. Though, it didn't take long before the only remaining anger was towards himself. Because he was an idiot. Because he knew how much it'd hurt not knowing what was wrong with Tao when he was having a hard time with the whole parents' issue. How hard it was believing that he didn't trust him.

And he didn't want the boy to feel that way. Because he did trust Tao. A lot, actually. He just didn't trust himself. It had been two years already. The nightmares had barely stopped hunting him. And he wasn't ready. He had never told anyone about it. At least, no one besides his best friend. Lay had been there, so there hadn't been a lot to tell. And he wanted to tell Tao. He really did. But he just couldn't. 

Besides, Tao didn't seem to miss him. The Panda went to practices. He ignored him. Their friends got together without his team, Tao joined them. He was happy and had his friends, had those two annoying boys to smile at and be all sweet and helpful. And it hurt. Because Kris wanted, physically needed, to have him close, to kiss him and hug him, to never let him go.

He went to sleep that Friday night with the resolution of calling the boy the following morning.

But that call never came, and Tuesday dawn welcomed him lonely again. It had been the worst weekend of his life. Lay had stopped answering his calls. He'd had practice both days, even on Sunday. Sunday. He was back to abhorring the day. It was such an icy contrast with the previous one. Because he wasn't going to have sex with his boyfriend. As things were going, he wasn't even sure if he had a boyfriend anymore. 

By Monday he was completely worn out. A heavy cloud hung above his team's head, ready to crush them any moment now. They were playing badly. Kris didn't remember them playing so horribly before. They all seemed distracted, unfocused. And he knew his mood wasn't helping at all. Besides, they'd been to their rival's games, as they usually did before important tournaments, but for the first time they had left them feeling unsure. They were really good. And Kris didn't want them to make a fool out of themselves. Lay had remarked several times that the general depressing state of the team was Kris' fault only, and he couldn't help but to agree. Now he didn't just have to worry about Tao and his own past, but also about the whole team's wellbeing. And it was exhausting just to think about it. 

If Kris needed something else to make him believe some unknown higher force out there was against him, he got his proof that same Tuesday. 

As usual, he'd been pretending not to watch to the other side of the court as both teams had their respective practices, and failing miserably. As Tao and the others were practicing with that sort of stick the boy had used the first time he'd seen him at the exhibition, "gun shu" or something like that, Kris' eyes kept going back to Tao, thinking about how amazing it'd be to push him against the gym wall and fuck him with his wushu uniform still on. 

After the boy had finished explaining the movement and showing it himself, he set off to try to make the younger boys get it. Kris didn't like them. They really sucked at wushu, and so they got the captain himself to help them almost every class. Tao didn’t mind, as he really appreciated their effort and enthusiasm, or so he had told him when Kris had asked about it, but he knew better. Kris could see one of the boys checking his boyfriend's ass out every time the other wasn't looking, and it was starting to get on his nerves. It was honestly stupid to get jealous of First Year boys, moreover knowing his Panda was so innocent that he didn't even notice the quite obvious flirting, but they had Tao at the moment. And Kris didn't. He wasn't even able to dial his number.

A very hard shove on his shoulder and a stern look from Lay startled him enough to get him back to his own team, despite his mind still being on the other side. They started to play.

And then he heard it. A loud thud. The sound of a body hitting the ground. A scream.

The whole team stopped on their tracks. Kris turned around. His heart stopped beating, even as his brain tried to process what was going on. Because the whole wushu team was surrounding someone lying on the floor. Because his own team ran towards them. Because a strong feeling of déjà vu left him breathless. Because that someone was Tao.

He couldn't. He couldn't breathe. Think. Move. All he could see were his friends' concerned expressions, the movement around them. Their lips moving, saying something. He couldn’t hear.

Tao moved. Blood rush back to Kris' limbs, and then he was running, pushing at the crowd surrounding his boyfriend, trying to reach him. Luhan and Joonmyun were there, helping the boy sit up. It was blurry. All he knew was that he pushed them away, eyes scanning Tao's face quickly before somehow managing to get the boy to his back. He does remember telling Joonmyun that he'd take them, seeing the sparkle of memory on his eyes. Remembers Lay helping him up, politely asking everyone to make way for him before throwing a discreet wink his way, ordering him to return things back to normal. Remembers Tao squirming on his back, trying to break free from his hold, hissing at the pain before just leaning against his back.

"Put me down," he mumbled, low and weak, breath tickling Kris' ear, "It hurts."

"I know it does," he replied, tightening his hold on the boy's thighs as he began running through the empty halls, "I'll take you to the nurse."

He doesn't remember running so fast in his life, trying hard to move the Panda as little as he could, the little whimpers escaping his lips being an evidence of how much pain he was enduring. 

He bursted into the infirmary, frantically calling for the doctor. What he found instead was a neatly fold piece of paper on the desk, informing that the doctor would be back in fifteen minutes. 

"Great. What a good doctor," Kris scoffed to himself before placing Tao on the bed, moving to roam through the drawers by the side of the tiny room, desperately looking for some sort of pain reliever.

"Kris!" he heard after a couple of moments, heart pounding painfully at how much he'd missed the sound of his name on his boyfriend's lips, "Just wait for the doctor. Calm down."

But the boy was rubbing his back, a pained expression grazing his face, so he shook his head, turning back to what he was doing, "There has to be something."

"Wait."

"Maybe-"

"Stop! Leave it," Tao snapped, wincing at the pain on his back. "Just wait for the doctor. You can go back now," he hadn't met his eyes yet, making it pretty hard for Kris to breathe, "Thanks."

Kris took a deep breath, trying to coax his lungs into functioning on their own once again. Only that he couldn't. Tao's lips kept moving, but he wasn't able to hear what he was saying. He felt himself take a step closer. And then his lips were on Tao's effectively silencing the boy. Surprisingly, Tao kissed him back.

Coming to stand between his legs, he wrapped his arm around the boy's waist, bringing him incredibly closer. They kissed hard, hungrily. All the despair and the anger and the loneliness poured into that kiss. He wanted this moment to last as long as he could, begging for Tao not to realize what was going on at least for a while. Kris would take whatever he could, half-expecting the boy to push him away any moment now, wanting nothing to do with him. 

But instead of getting hit, a warm hand was placed on his cheek, caressing him softly. Kris had missed him so much, more than he ever thought he could. His boyfriend's soft lips against his, his warmth radiating through his clothes. His closeness. He never wanted this to end. But it did. Tao pulled away slowly, calmly. He was clearly regretting kissing him, but it wasn't that what broke Kris' heart. What did was the utterly broken look on the boys' eyes, the sadness on them. Kris felt like crying.

And then Tao was opening his mouth and Kris didn't know what to do. So, pressing a hand over his mouth and feeling his heart beat faster when the boy's eyes finally looked at him, he swallowed.

"Please don't. Don's say anything. I'm so so so sorry, Panda," he sighed as he took a step closer, eyes never leaving Tao's surprised ones, "I didn't want you to get mad at me or to feel bad or anything. It's just... This issue..." he chuckled in frustration as he felt his throat constrict at the loss of words, dropping his hand from the Panda's mouth. "Sorry."

Tao stared back at him for a couple of moments, finally nodding. Kris wrapped his arms around him, burying his face on the crook of his boyfriend's neck, feeling so utterly relieved he was almost dizzy. 

"I'm sorry," he mumbled against the tender skin, placing a kiss there. "Sorry," a kiss. "Sorry," another. Tao's hands came up to hold the front of Kris's shirt, pulling him closer, until he suddenly hissed, hand shooting to his back and whimpering in pain at the touch. 

Stepping away, Kris took in his pained look. Getting closer once again brought his hand to the same spot the boy was rubbing. "Where is the pain?" he asked, and the Panda tightened his grip on his shirt, hand directing him towards the aching place. 

As he began caressing that spot, he let his other hand roam through Tao's back. He'd missed it so much. He found himself thinking about how strong it was, how beautiful, how well defined. It probably wasn't the time, as a small whimper brought him back to the present. Attempting to distract his boyfriend from the discomfort, he started to trace his jaw with his lips, relishing on the way the boy relaxed almost instantly. 

"Am I interrupting something?" a stern voice interrupted, making them both freeze before Tao pushed Kris away, almost making him trip on his feet. Looking towards the door, Kris found the doctor staring at them judgingly. He felt his face burn against his will, wondering how much had him seen. Being sure that the Panda's face was bound to be even redder than his, he avoided looking back at him as the boy explained what had happened during practice, feigning normalcy; and even agreeing to leave the room when the doctor asked him so, even if it was the last thing he wanted to do.

He rushed back to the locker room, relieved to find it empty as to avoid having to give explanations, and looked for both their backpacks, going back to the infirmary in record time.

And minutes passed. And Kris began to get antsy. But then Tao came out, walking a bit unsteadily and avoiding his eyes. And Kris was roughly reminded of the awkward position they were now in. He couldn't let it go on like this, though, so he turned around and crouched slightly.

"Get on."

"What? I... Hmn." Tao was gaping at him, a frankly adorable blush on his cheeks.

"Come on," he insisted. The boy could barely walk, and there was no way Kris was letting him go without his help. With a sigh of defeat, the obvious pain making it impossible to reject the offer, Tao climbed up his back, conscientiously wrapping his arms around Kris' neck.

The walk towards Tao's was awfully silent and awfully slow. Feeling unusually uncomfortable, Kris asked the boy about what the doctor had said, and was positively worried once he found out. Apparently, Tao's back was going to swell in the next few hours. And hurt like hell. And he'd have to take painkillers for a couple of days and avoid sports for as long as it hurt. Knowing how much it bothered him not being able to attend practices, Kris felt sorry for his boyfriend.

Silence fell upon them once again. The Panda turned out to be quite heavy, but Kris didn't even think about putting him down. He was finally able to have him close, to touch him and feel his warmth. And he wasn't going to let that go.

It wasn't until they were only a couple of blocks away from the house when Tao spoke again, voice low and slightly raspy, "Thanks Kris," he whispered, and had Kris not been as close as he was, he would have missed it.

"It's fine, Panda," he smiled to himself.

All of a sudden, the boy burrowed his head on Kris' neck, pressing his slightly cold cheek against his warm skin.

"Why am I forgiving you?" he said, leaving Kris utterly confused and a little bit hurt. "I'm so weak. I should be mad. But I've missed you so so much." 

Kris felt his chest tighten, heart about to get out of his chest. He wanted nothing more than to kiss the boy right there right then, but he knew that even the slightest movement could end up hurting him, and he didn't want to risk it.

"I missed you too," he answered, voice tight.

"Then why didn't you call?"

He didn't have an answer for that.

They were now in front of Tao's house, so he put him down, being extremely careful with him. After a moment of silence, Tao reached for his backpack, looking for his keys before slowly making his way to the door before opening it and entering his house. Seeing him struggling to walk, Kris was sure it'd be impossible for him be able to climb the stairs to his room on his own, so he strode forward, placing his arm around his shoulders.

"Let me help."

The Panda only blushed, not meeting his gaze.

After quite a struggle to get to the upper floor, Kris helped his boyfriend get into bed, feeling completely useless after seeing the pain he was experiencing. As Tao's mom was nowhere to be found, probably still at work for a couple of hours, he sat on the bed besides him. He hated it. It'd never been so awkward between them, even before they had started dating, and now he couldn't even meet his eyes.

"I didn't call you because I thought you'd hang up," he sighed after the silence had stretched for too long.

"I... I wouldn't have," Tao mumbled, eyes downcast.

"Well… You were so angry that I-I thought..."

"I wasn't angry. Just… sad."

Kris finally looked up at him, mentally flinching at how he looked. He'd noticed it the last couple of days, the way he looked weaker and paler, heartbroken. And it was because of him. And Kris hated it. He kneeled on the bed, as to being able to fully face his boyfriend.

"I'm so sorry Panda," he apologized, letting his words carry the whole weight of his feelings, "I-I was and idiot. Really. And I promise I'll tell you. About... what happened before-before you," he whispered.

Tao's eyes widened slightly, "You will?" he swallowed, "I mean. I don't- I don't want you to feel pressured to do it."

"I'm not. I... want you to know."

Leaning closer to him, he pressed his forehead against the boy's, letting his eyes flutter closed. Once again, he felt Tao's hand on his cheek, washing all the sorrow from the past week away.

"I missed you so much," Kris mumbled, and just before Tao could answer, Kris leaned further down, pressing their lips together. It was a different kiss from before. Sweet and delicate. Slow. Trying to convey their feelings, to taste each other, relishing the way they were finally together again, able to kiss, to touch, to lick the other's lips and brush their fingertips through their skin. Softly. Carefully. As if the other might break.

Something was off. Kris didn't care. But then it happened. 

"Second room to the left... Here! T-A-O-" Chen swung the door open without further announcement, freezing on the doorstep at the sight in front of him. 

Kris turned to look at him in shock, just in time to see ten pairs of eyes staring at him disbelievingly. Kyungsoo was the first one to react, slamming the door shut.

Kris may just want to bury himself. Forever.

"We walked in on them having make-up sex!” Kris heard a flustered Baekhyun whisper loudly just outside the door, "How are we even supposed to apologize for that?! We're the worst friends ever!"

"Go on! We didn't see anything!" Chanyeol shouted at them, and Tao winced. A loud hit accompanied by a "What was that for?!" was heard, signaling that someone had finally shut the boy up. Kris felt his face burn, and Tao squirmed until he was completely buried on his sheets.

Standing up, Kris strode to the door. 

"We weren't fucking!" he shouted, part of him chuckling as his friends jumped nearly a foot off of the floor.

"Did you find the room?" Tao's mom appeared on the back of the group, looking at them weirdly when the boys turned to her, faces ghostly pale. Kai cackled up, laughter filling the hall for a moment before Kyungsoo shoved him on the shoulder.

A whimper was heard inside the room, and Kris ran back towards Tao, yanking the covers off and fumbling through his body to check on him. Tao chuckled a little, feeling kind of self-conscious for having all his friends looking at him now, standing awkwardly in a room way too small for twelve men. Smiling up at Kris, he mumbled, "It's okay. I forgot I shouldn't move that much." His face was still reddish, and Kris was seriously considering throwing himself out of the window to avoid another moment of embarrassment.

Tao laced their fingers together, hesitantly smiling at him, and despite it not being quite how he'd imagined their make-up, Kris smiled back.

A/N: Happy late birthday to our baby Taozi!!! Hope you had a wonderful day, we love you really much. 


	22. Chapter 19

Warnings : mentions of past abusive relationship - dub/non con (not explicit)  
He knew there were lots of ways people tried to ignore their feelings. He had even studied them at school, when he was younger. But he’d never really given them much thought. How could someone simply deny what had happened? How could someone bury their feelings so deep they ended up changing them? It seemed kind of stupid. 

At the time, Tao had prided himself of being a quite simple person. Straightforward. If he was sad, he cried. He got angry and fought. Lay down and moped. He didn't really get it. That was, of course, until he met Kris. It hadn't taken long for him to realize there was more to him that what met the eye. 

"A tortoise hiding on its shell to avoid getting hurt". 

And every day, he grew more and more convinced of that. Every little gesture, every word. His boyfriend had known pain, Tao knew it. Moving away from China. Living on his own since a young age. Being left alone again and again. He was almost afraid of people, trusting no one but for his close friends, the air of superiority surrounding him making it easier to cope. 

But there was something else. A secret he wanted to hide but was eating him alive. Sometimes Tao wished he didn't know about either. 

They were fine. Just fine. After that awful week, things had gotten better. Kris had barely left his side, leaving his room just to go to his practices. And they were slowly getting back to normal. But it was still there. The awkwardness. The feeling that something hung heavy in the air. And it was getting on Tao's nerves. 

The secret. It had something to do with the ex, and he knew it. Honestly, he didn't care about it anymore. It just hurt knowing that something so big was being kept away from him, something that was hurting Kris. He wouldn't say anything about it, of course. It was Kris' secret to tell, and he didn't want to force him to do it. It wasn't really the point. Besides, his boyfriend had already told him he would tell him when he was ready. He just had to wait.

He didn't have to wait long, though. Because one morning Kris had entered his room looking tired, so tired. And willing to tell his story. He'd sat on the bed beside him. Tao had listened. 

Wooyoung. The ex. Kris' past.

He began talking about things that, some way or another, Tao knew about. His arrival to Korea. The way he'd felt so lonely, that he didn't matter to anyone. How Lay'd come into his life and made it a thousand times better. 

"At least for a while," he said.

Because the second person who managed to earn his trust was Wooyoung. The biggest son of a bitch to ever live on this planet. Although, Tao didn't have the right to call him that way. The guy deserved worse. Much, much worse.

Lay had suggested them going into their current high school. The basketball team's reputation was amazing, being the only school team from the neighborhood to ever reach National finals, getting at least to the semifinals almost every year. Kris hadn't even doubted about taking up the challenge. He was awfully competitive, but Tao would be lying if he said it wasn't one of the things that attracted him the most about his boyfriend. 

And then there was this guy. Kris had seen him several times, whenever he and Lay went to the school's games. And he began to get interested, at least in his game. 

The team's star player slash captain. Wooyoung. Barely a couple of years older than him, he amazed Kris. An awesome leader. An even better player. 

"His number one fan," Kris chuckled dryly. Tao wished it'd stayed that way.

But it didn't, and soon enough he became the reason for Kris' doubts regarding his sexuality. He'd been nervous and kind of scared, but then they entered school and he got to see the guy every day. And the doubts were far from going away. He'd developed a crush. Tao suppressed a gag at the word. Besides sounding so out of character with the boy he knew and liked, the thought of it was making him feel uneasy. 

Soon, people began to notice Kris' potential. Earning a good deal of fans in his first couple of games, it wasn't long before everyone in the school knew who Kris Wu was. Including Wooyoung. The captain started to get closer to him, gaining Kris' trust in a way almost no one had and making it harder and harder for the boy to keep his crush a secret. Although, Kris thought that, maybe, it wasn't a crush anymore. After six months of knowing him, he was pretty sure he was in love. Wooyoung seemed to notice it too. And Kris was asked on a date. He wasn't sure about it. He was quite scared and sort of skeptical, wondering whether to accept or not. Tao really wished he hadn't. But he did. Kris didn't know if the guy was gay or not, he still doesn't. What he's sure about, though, is that he was a good liar. 

A date became two and then three. Kisses arrived and so did touches. Kris shrunk on himself, ashamed, disgusted of his own body. Tao didn't fail to notice. 

Wooyoung wanted their relationship to get to the next step. So they became boyfriends. No one could know, though. Not even Lay, and despite his excitement Kris didn't like the idea of hiding something like that from his best friend. But, apparently, it was pretty obvious, as it wasn't long before Lay confronted him about it. Kris didn't bother in denying it either.

It didn't matter how many times his best friend warned him about Wooyoung. He was blinded. Utterly blinded by an obsessive, poisoning love.

"You'll never get it!" he'd snapped when Lay begged him to break up with the guy.

Kris was about to turn sixteen when he decided to give his eighteen years old boyfriend everything. 

Kris wishes he hadn't been so blinded. After it all ended a question played over and over again in his mind, taking him close to his breaking point every time. 'Why did you believe him?' And he honestly doesn't know. Why did he think that Wooyoung, someone with the whole school on the palm of his hand, would want him? What had he done to deserve his affection? Nothing at all.

He just had to discover it the most painful way possible. It was as if mist had left his eyes, showing him a reality he couldn't see. A reality he didn't want to see. 

Because Wooyoung had done this to most of the girls on his school. "Although it'd never gone so far," he'd chuckled as he stood up that final day. The day he took Kris virginity, violently, dismissing the desperate pleas from the boy. And then he was gone, leaving him in pain and unsatisfied in more than one way. 

He could finally see the truth, and it wasn't pretty. It had always been like that. The teasing. The hurtful jokes. The way that, no matter how many times Kris had told him he loved him, he'd never said it back. He was second to everything else, just an annoying distraction to use and get rid of. And that was exactly what Wooyoung had told him as he left his room. "Nothing but a toy". 

Kris just wanted to stop thinking. Lay had found him crying in bed, still naked, a couple of hours later.

"He was worried sick because I wasn't answering my phone. I just couldn't get up," Kris explained hollowly, lips pale. Tao wanted to throw up.

A part of Kris broke that day, never to be fixed again. Wooyoung never spoke to him again outside the court. He only ever acknowledged his existence to make sure practices were a living hell for him.

So, he developed a way to stop it. Stop his feelings, his thoughts. He began to play around. Go out with his friends and drink. Take a stranger home. Boys, girls, he didn't really care. He never took it as far as Wooyoung, though. He just used it as a way to get over him. His feelings had shifted and it wasn't loved that moved him anymore. Disgust. Fear. Sadness. All his insecurities out in the open, all his feelings put to shame. He had begun to hate Wooyoung.

The year came to its end and Wooyoung left school, never to return. He was gone, he was finally gone. But Kris couldn't feel happy. Because he was still drowning, nothing to keep him afloat, nothing to stop him from hurting people's feeling the way his had been hurt.

Summer went by. And then one day Lay was grabbing him by his shoulders, forcing him to look into his eyes. He said it had been enough. "Time to get over it". Kris knew he never would. But he owed it to his best friend to at least try. 

He buried everything related to Wooyoung deep inside of him. Stopped sleeping around. Began hanging out with his current friends. Began to get better.

But something had changed inside him, poisoned his heart to the last cell until Kris could barely feel it anymore. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't change it. His superiority complex. His fear of people. His mask. He thought it was fine, though. He'd learnt to live with it. That was, of course, until Tao came into his life.

And Tao understood. He finally got it. Why his boyfriend was so reluctant to share his story. Why he acted the way he did. But he was also so scared. Freaking terrified. Because he was once again getting to see how frail Kris was, how vulnerable. How hard he could break because of him. And Tao would spend his life trying to avoid causing him any more suffering, trying to show him how much he loved him, how much he cared. 

Kris stopped talking and they sat side by side, letting silence surround them. 

Time went by, Tao's thoughts still unable to get together. He wasn't mad at Kris anymore. How could he? But he didn't pity his boyfriend either. He was just relieved to finally know the whole story, to know that Kris had gone through all that and came out in one piece. And to know that he was now safe with him. But he was also angry. Furious. He hated Wooyoung with burning passion. He didn't even know the guy, but he didn't need to. He'd hurt Kris and it was all that he needed to know. He wished he could hurt the guy back. 

"Are you okay?" the slightly trembling voice startled him, dragging him back to reality. A reality that included his boyfriend looking at him worriedly, as he reached a hesitant hand to intertwine their fingers together. Tao blinked, trying to erase the sadness threatening to burst inside of him from his features, nodding and smiling in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. 

"Yeah. What about you?" 

Kris lowered his gaze, lifting his shoulders and giving him a sad smile. It made Tao's insides hurt. He'd never seen the boy so down before, so unlike himself. He hated it. He needed his Kris back, smiling and laughing and being a generally happy person. He couldn't stand the sorrow in his eyes. Worst of all, he couldn't stand the feeling that it was mostly his fault. And he didn't know how to fix it.

"I'm so, so sorry Kris. I-I didn't... I didn't want to..." he bit his tongue, frustrated at the lack of words, and lowered his head, tears tight at his throat.

After a moment of silence, he slowly raised his eyes, only to find Kris staring at him utterly bemusedly, "Why?" he finally managed to blurt, "Why would you?"

"B-Because. Because I was an idiot and I got angry at you and yelled at you and then forced you to tell me," he took a deep breath, "I- sorry."

Kris shook his head frantically, rushing to take both his hands. But Tao was already finding breathing difficult due to the tightness in his chest, and the touch only settled a few of his anxieties. And then he was being pulled into a tight embrace, Kris' face nestled on his neck, arms wrapped around his waist tightly. After the initial shock, he hugged his boyfriend back, albeit the uncomfortable position, and relished in the fact that they were finally fully together again. It was as if a layer of ice between them had melted, leaving Tao's heart beating hard and fast.

"I wanted to tell you," Kris muttered softly against the skin on his neck, making it tingle warmly, "I'm sorry I reacted so badly Taozi."

"Stop it. It wasn't your fault," he rushed to say, tightening his grip on the boy and inhaling deeply, that scent so purely Kris' invading his senses. He'd missed it so much.

"I missed you so much," Kris whispered, voicing Tao's thoughts as he removed himself from his boyfriend’s neck and settled for speaking into his ear.

Closing his eyes and maneuvering to join their foreheads together, Tao took a deep breath, trying to fight the devastating wave of relief threatening to knock him over. "Me too," he whispered back.

He felt soft lips against his, a much needed balm to ease his pain. Tao returned the kiss, trying to savor every second, to make up for the lost time. Tongues dragged against each other, soft moans leaving their throats as their hands roamed the other's back. 

Kris kneeled on the bed, settling between his legs and deepening the kiss. Tao needed this so much. He couldn't help but to hiss into the boy's mouth when his cold hand made contact with the burning skin of his abdomen, beginning to pull his shirt up.

"Is this okay? Does your back still hurt?" Kris panted slightly, straightening to look at him.

Tao smiled, biting his lip to keep from laughing from utter relief. "A little. Nothing I can't handle."

His boyfriend returned the smile, brightly, and Tao felt like crying. He'd just missed seeing him like this so much.

"Then, we’ll take it slow."

A/N: Hey everybody! It's been quite a long time. We posted an explanation for this in our blog, but for those of you who couldn't read it, here is a summary of it: we are not abandoning this fic. It'll be harder to write it, so it may not be updated as regularly as before, but we'll do our best. We really adore this story and the thought of leaving it was killing us, specially because there's still so many things we wanted to say. So, please keep reading and commenting, and sharing your speculations as to what'll happen (we already have everything planned out, but personally I found some theories hilarious). See you soon!

Oh, and btw, it's already (way) past midnight where we live, so... Happy Birthday Pau!!! Thank you so much for everything. This story wouldn't be here if not for you. Love you!

*gives you baekyeol and cupcakes*


	23. Chapter 20

A blinding light dragged him out of a dreamless sleep. Blinking blearily, it took a moment for Kris to wake up enough to glare at a giggling Sehun, who was pointing a camera at him and cooing amusedly. 

"Oh Sehun I swear to god if you don't delete that-" he lunched forward, freezing when the warm weight numbing his arm groaned. 

Carefully arranging the sleeping Tao back to his side, he held his breath for a moment, smiling in relief when the boy sighed and hugged his arm tighter. A not-so-muffled giggle drew his attention back to the row of seats in front of him, but Sehun was nowhere to be seen. Kris decided to let the matter go, postponing his revenge until he could move properly without waking the sleeping Panda and instead taking the chance to stretch his sore muscles within the limited space. 

Peeking out of the window, he caught sight of the sunbathed mountains around them, content washing over him. Tao whined in his sleep, drawing his attention back to him. His mouth was slightly parted, a careless, almost childish expression on his face, and Kris had to physically force himself to take his eyes off of him before he did something stupid. Like kissing him. Because they were currently sitting in a bus, surrounded by their friends. And they didn't particularly appreciate PDA. 

Glancing at his phone and trying not to get too distracted by the photo of both of them that Tao had set as his lockscreen; he noticed it was already 9.30. Only one hour until they arrived to their destination: Chanyeol's summer house. 

Running a hand through his tousled hair, Kris stifled a yawn. Drowsiness was dragging him back, his eyelids starting to feel heavy. Around him, most of his friends were as knocked off as Tao. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were sitting on the other side of the narrow corridor, eyes closed and headphones on. Sehun, on the seat ahead, was fumbling with his newly purchased camera, as a sleepy Yixing sitting beside him begged him to stop moving and just fall asleep. Behind him, Baekhyun and Jongdae had reclined their seats back as far as they'd go, and, judging by the unusual silence, they were deep in sleep. Jongin had never been actually awake, having been dragged by a not-so-awake-either Luhan into the back of the bus. Minseok and Joonmyeon seemed to be awake, although Kris had seen Minseok blink for longer than necessary a couple of times and his seatmate dropped the book he was holding more than once.

It was quite understandable, too. When Chanyeol had suggested them leaving for the holiday at six o'clock in the morning, most of them had outright refused. 

"Come on! We're on holiday!"

"The only reason I'd get out of bed before ten is for food. Or someone really hot. And you're neither."

"You mean six as in six in the morning? You know, like the time I go to bed?"

"Why the hell would we?"

"No."

"But guys, if we leave so early we could be there before lunch time! And we'd avoid most of the traffic and the heat!"

They really didn't have an answer to that. Kris hadn't really cared in the first place, but the look of sheer devastation on his Panda's eyes was endearingly sad to see. Although, Chanyeol had made it up to them by hiring a really nice bus, wide, comfortable seats, air conditioner and even a driver. Tao would've gaped at it in amazement, had he only been awake.

When they'd stopped by Tao's house, one of the last ones before they headed to their final destination, the boy had appeared by the door dragging his bag, blindly making his way into the bus before Kris led him to his seat beside him. He'd been asleep within the next two minutes, and soon Kris had followed.

Life felt so utterly right for him. After the horrible week they'd spent apart, and the following awkward one, Kris had revealed Tao his story. The whole one. It'd been weird. It'd hurt. But Kris had wanted, needed to do it. Tao was so incredibly important for him that he couldn't bear the thought of losing him over his past. He'd already lost enough. And he was so grateful for his Panda. He'd been there for him, understood him. Their relationship had grown amazingly stronger, each of them had grown from the other.

Apparently Kris' mood did have effect in the morals of the basketball team, seeing as it'd gotten better almost instantly, and now were playing as good as before, if not better. There was still a long way to go, but Kris had been pleased to announce the 15 days break from practice. The inter schools basketball tournament began just after their return, and Kris expected to at least reach semifinals. He was pretty confident about it. 

Tao's back had gotten better, too. It'd been slow at first, but by the second week Tao was sick and tired of lying uselessly in bed, and had insisted on going back to practice, at least what he could. When his back began to hurt, he'd stop and coach his team from the outside. Now he was almost fully recovered, just in time for him to get the most out of their accommodation.

Chanyeol's summer house was one of Kris' favorite places on earth. The previous year he'd spent almost every holiday there, sometimes with friends, sometimes with the Park family. He hadn't been able to do so the following year, seeing as school had gotten quite heavier for upperclassmen, so this was a much needed rest before school began again. 

The other reason for his excitement was pressed against his side, looking as adorable as ever. He couldn't wait to be able to spend every minute of the day with his Panda, looking at him and talking to him and being around him. And having sex. The sex was a big plus.

The house itself was worthy of excitement. It had everything one could wish for. From tennis court to both outdoor and indoor pool, it'd be theirs for two weeks. Not to mention that it was surrounded by a forest, beach just a mile away. The city was a few minutes away, and, despite being so different to the Seoul he was used to, the bars and all kinds of stores were his favorites.

Every thought was cut short the second he felt shuffling next to him. Blinking down, he was met with the sight of his Panda waking up, or at least trying to do so. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, yawning as he tried to smooth down his ruffled hair. He was so freaking adorable Kris had to tear his eyes away before doing something stupid. Again. 

"Hi Kris," he rasped out, nuzzling against his boyfriend's arm. Kris smiled as he ran his fingers through the boy's hair, relishing in the way he seemed to melt to the touch. 

"Did you sleep well?" 

With a noise of contentment, Tao straightened up, looking at Kris. "I'm hungry," he said, pout evident in his voice, "Are we there yet?" 

Kris shook his head, "We've still got an hour or so left." 

"But I'm hungry," the boy stated, "Aren't we gonna stop to eat?" 

When he received nothing more than a laugh for answer he pouted, eyes narrowing slightly, "It's not funny!" 

Kris settled himself to try to sleep the rest of the trip. Used to this kind of conversations, he knew there wasn't a lot he could do, especially so now that Tao was tired. And hungry. A suspicious silence surrounded him. Cracking an eye open, he found Tao glaring at him. Closing his eyes once again, Kris tried to hold back a smile as he counted down for the blow. 3... 2... 1... 

"Don't ignore me!" a light punch to his arm made him open his eyes fully, looking back at the boy in mock consideration. Reaching for his luggage, he fumbled around until his hand closed around what he was looking for. He'd seen this situation coming, and he was well armed against it. Withdrawing the cookie box, he handled it to Tao, who took it almost reverently with shiny eyes. 

The Panda thanked him, his smile taking over his face, and Kris felt the sudden urge to buy all the cookie boxes in the world if he got to see Tao smile at him that way every time. God, so much adorableness would kill him.

Around him, though, a silent battle was taking place. On one side, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, hands stretched out and trying to take hold of a biscuit. On the other, Tao clutching the box to his chest, refusing to let them have any under the pretext of Kris giving them to him only. Kris kind of agreed with him. His chuckle stopped short when a pair of warm, slightly dry lips grazed his cheek. 

As Chanyeol and Kyungsoo retreated back to their seats, muttering under their breaths about greediness and PDA, Kris let warmth surround him, smiling unwillingly when Tao put and honestly amazing amount of cookies in his mouth. 

If Kris needed any proof that Tao was indeed in love with him, he got it in the form of a reluctantly handled cookie when he asked. The Panda sharing his food with him was something to be proud of. 

It wasn't long before Chanyeol stood up, calling for their attention before excitedly announcing that they were about to reach destination. The final trek to the house had to be done by foot, seeing as the road wasn't exactly appropriate for vehicles. 

After getting their luggage out, Chanyeol led the way towards the house. Kris followed, luggage in one hand and Tao in the other. They'd stayed at the back of the group, a little bit apart. It wasn't as if Kris didn't know how to get there anyway, and he really wanted some alone time with the boy, if only to hear him talk about a wushu thing he'd read online. He wasn't actually interested, seeing as he didn't get a word, but seeing his Panda so passionate about it made him embarrassingly happy. 

The forest around them bustled with life, the constant chiming of birds and the far sound of running water a pleasant change to what they were used to. Chanyeol family house wasn't the only one there, and many almost palaces could be seen as they walked. 

And finally, the house stood there in all white and glass magnificence. Light washed over the large living room, it's sliding walls removed, allowing to have full view of the forest. The kitchen sat in the middle of it, all clean and shiny appliances. On one side were located the three bedrooms, on the other what Chanyeol liked to call "The Game Room". It was actually nothing more than a big room with a ping pong table and table football. But Tao really didn't seem to care as Chanyeol toured him around the house, marveling at every single detail and making Kris have to hide adoring smiles. 

Back in the living room, though, a dilemma was taking place. They needed to decide who'd get the rooms and who'd have to sleep in sleeping bags in the living room. Without being able to reach an agreement, everything was about to get sorted with an intriguing tournament of rock-paper-scissors when the touring committee arrived.

"But there's no fun in that!" Chanyeol whined "You have to fight for them!"

Of course Chanyeol would have everything planned out. Kris should've guessed it. It wasn't like his friend to actually let them decide things the most possibly adult way. But now, standing just on the edge of the forest with Tao barely holding in his laughter, Kris couldn't bring himself to care.

"Five teams. Two winners. One game: sack race," Chanyeol said gravelly, an evil smirk pulling up his lips.

It was actually a pretty good idea. Everyone had to team up with whoever they wanted to share a room with, and the two lucky winners would get one of the bedrooms. Kris had to win. Simple as that. The only problem was that he was extremely aware of his lack of coordination when it came to things not involving a ball. Luckily, Tao was really good at this sort of games, and that should at least give them some advantage.

While Kyungsoo decided against playing, stating that he'd rather watch them face plant from the side, the rest of the boys were quick to pair up. Baekhyun ended up with Jongdae, both pretty confident about winning, while a competitive Luhan swore that he and Yixing'd get the room. Minseok declared that there was no way he was sleeping in the living room, and Joonmyeon couldn't help but to agree. Neither Sehun nor Jongin really cared about where they'd sleep, much more excited about the game itself. And, well, Kris didn't have to think a lot before taking Tao's hand and pulling him just a bit closer to his side. 

Conveniently producing some old sleeping bags from inside his house, Chanyeol handed them over to the first competitor of each team. They'd have to hop across half the field towards where their partner was and give them the bag, and they'd finish the race. 

Chanyeol stood by the finish line, waving a handkerchief to signal the start of the race. Jongin was quick to take the lead, jumping frantically, followed by a composed Tao. Joonmyeon had tripped over his feet a couple of seconds into the game, and Yixing slowed down in order to help him. Jongin arrived to the middle line first, passing the bag to Sehun, who fell face first as soon as he attempted to jump. He fell on Baekhyun's way, who ended up falling himself after he unsuccessfully intended to avoid him. Kris chuckled under his breath, practically tasting their victory. He wasn't counting on Luhan, though, who after almost crying when Yixing selflessly helped Joonmyeon and set them back, was gaining speed. Minseok wasn't far off either, moving unfairly fast. Kris watched in horror as both of them reached him, eventually overtaking him. No. He couldn't afford to lose. It wasn't the peace and quietness of having a room the only thing at stake. No, it was having his own room with Tao. The privacy. The sex. 

Kris could hear Chanyeol's deep laughter somewhere by his side, his friend's cheering for their partners. Tao cheering for him. He had to win.

It was nothing short of a miracle when Minseok's competitive strike attacked. He threw himself into Luhan, attempting to knock off his balance, and ended up falling on his side. The sight was so ridiculously funny that Luhan began laughing hysterically, clutching his stomach and doubling over, tears in his eyes. Winning was almost too easy for Kris.

He was ambushed by a delighted Tao the moment as he crossed the finish line, tumbling over to the floor as the boy wrapped his arms around him. From the corner of his eye, he could see Minseok rolling over the finish line, boasting at Luhan even as he tried to drag himself out of the bag. 

Tao pulled him to his feet when the commotion settled, a grin still on his face. Chanyeol clapped excitedly as he approached them, followed by an amused Kyungsoo.

"So! The love birds take one of the rooms!" he announced, ignoring Luhan's indignant demands of a rematch, "Minseok and Joonmyeon can take the other one."

With Kris' pride and the hope of spending time with his boyfriend intact, the group made their way back to the house.

Tao flung himself onto the bed, bouncing against the mattress and throwing his bag somewhere besides it. He lied on his back and smiled at the ceiling before catching Kris' eyes on him from the door. 

"Let's join the beds!" He proposed with a grin before leaping up and heading to the other bed. Kris helped him push them together before they both lied down, content settling over them. 

Tao had a permanent grin on his face, and Kris wanted nothing more than to kiss it. And so he did. Tao smiled against his lips, pulling him closer with a hand on his nape. It was a lazy kiss, consequence of knowing they had the whole summer for themselves. 

"If you're not fucking yet I assume you'll want to know that lunch is ready! Kitchen!" Jongdae's sharp, mocking voice came through the door. And Kris really loved his friends but he swore he could've killed the guy when the bare mention of food was enough to have Tao jumping to his feet, waiting expectantly by the door as Kris dragged himself up. 

Calling a bag of chips and a bottle of soda 'lunch' was a huge overstatement. And absolutely not enough to feed a small army of growing teenagers. After not much discussion, they settled into going to the small town nearby and grab something else to eat there. 

Yixing, Kyungsoo and Minseok were designated official food providers, which basically meant they were the only ones they could trust with their grocery money. 

The rest of the group wandered around the small town for a couple of hours. Kris entertained himself watching his boyfriend look at every new thing in awe. He looked like a little child, eyes wide and gleaming as he walked through one of the outdoor markets. 

They went back to the house after a while, each carrying a couple of shopping bags. The rest of the evening was spent lazing around the living room, either sprawled in front of the TV and playing Chanyeol's embarrassingly large collection of video games or into a fierce battle of table football. It wasn't until Jongin fell asleep in the middle of a match that they realized how late it was and decided to call the night. Those sleeping in the living room dragged their bags, as the ones who'd won the rooms went towards them with a renewed happiness at their luck. 

After they’d settled on their room, Kris laid on the bed, closing his eyes as he waited for Tao to finish his bath. He was truly worn out, having woken up early and barely slept during the trip, but he didn't want to sleep just yet. He wanted to make the most out of his and Tao's time together. It wasn't often that they had the opportunity of spending the night together, and not taking the chance to have sex every night seemed like a crime. 

He only realized he'd closed his eyes once Tao sat by his side on the bed, already on his sleep clothes, opening them to smile at him blearily.

"Come on. Go wash up," Tao smiled, pushing him slightly and, unluckily, out of the bed. Kris pouted and rubbed at the sore spot where he'd landed. 

He came back from the bath to the boy smiling down at his phone. He walked towards him, pecking him lightly before Tao pushed forward, deepening the kiss. 

"Are you happy Taozi?" He questioned when they parted. He knew he was, actually. The Panda was practically radiating happiness. But he loved seeing him so careless, so blissful. 

"Yeah," he planted a kiss on the corner of his mouth, "I really am."

It was enough to completely melt Kris, who kissed the tip of his nose before sitting on the bed.

"I'm glad," he smiled back. 

Tao's face turned a light shade of pink. It was one of Kris' favorite things ever. Even after all this time, the boy still blushed every time Kris did something even remotely romantic. Or sexy. Or stupid. Or when he was turned on. He loved that blush. And he said so.

"Oh god you're so lame!" Tao exclaimed, a whole new level of blushing, as he hid his face in his hands. 

"Don't joke like that. You love my lame and you know it!" He approached the boy, who put his hands on his shoulders, keeping him up. Kris laughed at him, and Tao promptly removed his arms, forcing Kris to fall on top of him.

Kris wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer, and began trailing Tao's jaw with his lips. He felt the boy tense beneath him before relaxing completely, pulling Kris' face up to meet his mouth. 

The kiss turned heated in mere seconds. Everything was wet and warm, Kris' hands sneaking into Tao's shirt, nails dragging over soft skin. The boy's fingers dig into his scalp, little pinpricks of pain making him needier. Kris pulled apart when his lungs couldn't take it any longer, taking off his shirt before turning back to Tao's neck, nibbling and sucking everywhere he could get. It was after a particularly harsh bite that Tao pushed him up, hissing. 

"Don't bite me you idiot!" he whined, sitting up slightly as he rubbed the spot, "I'll get a mark!"

Kris flashed him a grin, biting his lip and watching Tao register the movement. 

"But I thought you liked it. Didn't you?" He said innocently, placing a kiss above the reddening spot. 

Tao whined under his breath, "That doesn't matter. We'll go swimming and I don't want anyone to see them. It'll be embarrassing," he frowned. 

"Okay. I won't do it again," Kris answered, turning to lick along his clavicle. 

The boy let out a sigh, leaning back into the pillows and tangling his hands on Kris' hair, "Come on. Let's get over this."

"'Get over this'," Kris mimicked with a pout, "Why?" he rolled his hips, drawing a moan out of the boy's lips, "Don't you want to make this last?"

"I want this to last forever," Tao groaned, lifting his hips to meet his, "But if we keep going I won't be able to hold on for long," he muffled his increasing moans on Kris' neck, kissing the skin softly. 

"Me neither Taozi," he finally answered, capturing his lips as he increased the pace. 

It was a sight that still marveled him, having Tao writhing under him, hair stuck to his head and skin glistening with sweat as he opened him up with his fingers. His boyfriend was clutching his shoulders so tightly he was positive there'd be marks in the morning, but he couldn't really bring himself to care, not when he was so overwhelmed with pleasure, so hard even though he wasn't even inside Tao yet. 

But there was something off. Tao was biting his lip so harshly he was bound to draw blood, trying to keep his keens in and founding it harder and harder every passing moment. Kris had never realized how much those sounds meant to him, how much he needed them. But they couldn't risk waking anyone up. 

He removed his fingers, regretting it instantly when he heard a muffled whine. He got up and put his shirt back on, throwing Tao's back to him and ignoring the dumbfounded look the boy was throwing him. 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" he whispered harshly, watching Kris as he attempted to put on his boxers and hissed at how hard he was. 

"Get dressed," Kris said, trying his best not to look at him, "We're going outside."

"What?! Why?"

"I can't stand not hearing you when we have sex, okay? There's no one to wake up outside."

"You mean outside. Like. Outside the house?"

"Yes. Come on," he grabbed the lube and a condom, grabbing the bed's cover and wrapping Tao with it before taking his hand and pulling. Just like that they were out of the room. 

They crossed the living room as stealthily as possible, watching out for any possible movement. Their friends where sprawled one on top of the other, in deep, exhaustion induced sleep. 

When they finally closed the glass door behind them and put their shoes on, Kris wrapped his arms around Tao's waist. 

"Where to now?" 

"It was your idea you idiot!" Tao said exasperatedly, wincing at the friction his movement brought, "Just. Let's go anywhere. Fast."

"What about the pool?" Kris

"No! We're not fucking in the pool!"

"Then what do you suggest!"

"Having sex in our fucking room!"

"That's not an option tonight."

"You should at least have let me put my shirt back on," Tao pouted, anger leaving his limbs.

"There was no time for it."

"I was almost ready. Wasn't fucking in our room enough?" Tao said quietly, hiding his face in his boyfriends shoulder.

Kris brought his face up, pecking his lips "Not if I can't hear you. I can never get enough of you."

"You're a pervert."

"I'm your pervert," Tao punched his arm lightly, telling him to shut up so they can go and have proper sex at last, "Okay then. What about the trees over there?"

Tao eyes said trees, considering his options.

And it was worth it. Despite his feet getting muddy even through the shoes, despite the rough wood against Tao's back, despite the uncomfortable position, it was worth it. Nothing could compare to the feeling of being inside Tao, with his legs wrapped around Kris' waist and arms locked behind his shoulders, finally letting out those glorious sounds he'd waited what seemed like an eternity to hear. Kris was even louder than him, as usual, but he couldn't help it. Not when he was with Tao. 

They were woken a couple of short hours later by the heavy metal blasting through Chanyeol's speaker system. Every single cell in Kris' body hurt like hell, and, judging by the groan Tao let out when he opened his eyes, he wasn't feeling that great either. Though, they couldn't exactly let it on, so they went down to breakfast and pretended nothing was wrong at all. Most of their friends were already there, either chatting excitedly or barely opening their eyes to grab some coffee. 

Everything was nice and peaceful until Luhan's shrieked, flailing to hold on to something before landing on his back on the living room floor. 

"What the fuck?!" He shouted once the initial shock was over, "Is this... Mud?"

Chanyeol rushed towards him at the words, stopping on his tracks at the state of the living room, "Why the hell is there mud in my fucking living room?!" 

Everyone joined him to see what the problem was. Well, everyone but Kris and Tao, who sat on the kitchen, munching on their donuts and pretending they didn't have a clue about what they were talking about. 

A/N: Hey everybody! Happy New Year! Sorry for the long long long wait. It's been a complicated half a year. But, thankfully, we're on holidays now! We have several projects coming up. We've signed up for BAE (a baekyeol fic exchange), planned several new short fics, and will returned writing You Don't See Me Than Way, among others. So, thank you so much for keeping your faith in us, and please feel free to come and talk to us. See you soon!

PD: We now feel more comfortable using their real names when writing. Hope you don't mind us changing midway!


	24. Chapter 21

This was not how he'd intended to spend his night. He was still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that he was now hauling his way too tall, way too heavy boyfriend up a freaking mountain through the forest hoping he wouldn't pass out and choke himself on his own vomit. Although he kind of deserved it. 

It had been an unusual day since that morning. After their first night at the summer house, a night in which Tao had barely slept after being dragged outside by his hormonal boyfriend for a pretty amazing, quite uncomfortable round of sex, they had woken up to a house full of mud. Tao wanted to believe none of his friends had connected them to that fact. He'd also came to the conclusion that outdoor sex was way overrated, if the pain in his back was anything to go by, and had decided he'd never do that again. Ever. Besides, he'd waited for these holidays for over a month, and he wouldn't let anything, not even sex, ruin it for him.

Despite Chanyeol's constant complaints about having to clean the mess the living room was in, breakfast had been a quiet matter, with everyone basking in the warm sunlight coming through the glass panels. Once the host's mood had gone back to normal, he'd announced that day's activities, which included several sports and hamburgers for lunch. They separated into groups of four, each taking up an activity for an hour before moving on to something else. By evening, Tao had gone swimming, played tennis, football, had jumped the rope and even helped with lunch. 

The sun was already going down when they settled in front of the TV for a movie. Tao dragged Kris to the back of the room with him, sitting between his legs with his back against his boyfriend's warm chest. He dozed off to Kris' hand tangled on his hair, massaging his scalp, and the sounds of and action movie forgotten in the background. 

He was woken by a bright light on his face, opening his eyes to Sehun's camera. His friend took the photo out of the machine, scrutinizing at it for a moment before his face broke into a smile.

"You look cute. You can have it, Taozi," he handled him the photo before moving on to where Luhan was on top of a sleepy Yixing, snoring loudly.

It was then that Tao noticed that most of their friends where sprawled on the floor in deep sleep. So was Kris, apparently, and, when Tao looked down at the photo in his hands, he couldn't help to think that they did look cute together. It was a really nice picture, and he could see it in a nice frame by his bedside at home. The two of them sleeping on each other's arms.

When everyone had been awoken by Sehun, they sat together for a light dinner, discussing what to do that night until Baekhyun suggested going to the bar he and Chanyeol had gone to on his last visit. It was a widely accepted proposal, with Jongdae jumping up and down in excitement and Minseok smiling widely.

Tao found himself getting pretty excited by the idea too. Despite not being really into drinking, going out with his friends suddenly sounded like a lot of fun. 

Everyone put their best clothes on, making their way to the door before Chanyeol stopped them. 

"Wait. Someone'll have to stay sober to be our designated driver. And, you know, to keep us from knocking up someone," he laughed. Tao was pretty sure he was being serious, though. 

Tao wouldn't have minded not drinking, but also didn't want to be held responsible for his friend's drunken actions, so he stayed back as the group discussed who should be picked, before leaving it to chance. The one with the shortest toothpick would have to stay away from alcohol. 

Joonmyeon was still staring at his toothpick accusingly as they got into the van that'd take them to a town close by. After complaining for ten minutes, he'd been forced to assume his position.

It was four miles to the bar, a ten minute drive to the building. It surprisingly busy, the dark, alcohol smelling room filled with people. Chanyeol explained that this was the biggest town around, and everybody looking for fun on the zone went there.

The atmosphere was quite intimidating for Tao. He wasn't really used to going out, so the sheer amount of people pressed together, some drinking heavily by the bar, others grinding to the rhythm in the improvised dance floor or making out in dark corners was making him feel dizzy. The blinking, colorful lights were making him light headed, until he felt a familiar weight by his side, Kris taking his hand and leaning closer to whisper in his ear. 

"Don't get too far, okay Panda?"

Tao nodded. He wasn't planning to. 

They made their way to the bar, where his ordered their first drinks before disappearing through the crowd. Tao found himself sat between Kris and Yixing a while later, still on his first drink as his boyfriend and friend seemed to be at least on their fourth, if the way they were chatting animatedly but increasingly slurred was anything to go by. Joonmyeon was sitting further down the bar, playing on his phone with a half-empty bottle of coke in front of him. His other friends where nowhere to be seen.

Several girls had come up to them, Kris ignoring them distractedly as Yixing chat sweetly with them until one by one they all left with someone else. Yixing didn't seem to mind.

The drinks had definitely gone to the boys' heads now, Tao noticed amusedly, as they kept on laughing and attempting to talk to each other in half-sentences. He was really glad he had stayed sober enough to appreciate this. His usually well composed, rather serious in public boyfriend was hilarious when drunk, a whole new aspect of his personality that Tao was happy to witness.

This revelation was suddenly interrupted when someone threw himself onto them, Tao barely catching him once he noticed that it was in fact a very, impossibly drunken Baekhyun. The boy seemed too far gone to function, barely standing on his feet as he grabbed Kris' arm.

"Kris!" he slurred with a grin, breaking into hiccupped laughter, "Come here! Channie needs you!" he broke into giggles again. Kris tried to calm him down, only to end up laughing himself, "He passed out as he vomited on the bathroom," Baekhyun pulled Kris to his feet, leaning on him as he clutched his stomach, "You should've seen it! Dae tried to pull him up and fell on top of him!" Yixing joined their laugher as Tao stared at him in shock. That was so not funny at all. But of course, it wasn't as if they were conscious enough to realize what the hell was going on. Kris went after Baekhyun after a vodka-tasting kiss and a promise to come back soon. Yixing was still smiling to himself as he waved the bartender for another drink, and Tao looked over to where Joonmyeon hadn't lifted his eyes from his phone.

"Hey! Aren't you supposed to be the responsible one?!" he asked across the ruckus, now genuinely concerned about his friend.

Joonmyeon smiled at him, spitting image of trustworthiness, "Sure. But where's the fun on that?" his smirk turned vengeful, "Besides, Chanyeol can make a fool of himself all night, for all I care."

Well, he did have a point.

Suddenly, Yixing warm breath was on his neck, leaning closer than necessary to speak to his ear, "You don't drink much, right little Panda?" he chuckled.

Tao frowned, a tad bit annoyed. Yixing was usually collected, sweet with his words. He was really drunk now, Tao knew, but he wasn't sure he liked him that way.

"Xing, I've already told you that only Kris can call me that way."

Yixing laughed at his pout, putting his hand over his shoulder, "Relax Taozi. It's not as if I'm taking your Kris away from you," he mocked. Not funny. At all.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he suddenly blurted, lifting a finger to his lips, "I kissed Yifan once."

Tao stared back at him for a moment, blinking. Then the words finally sank and he jumped from his stall, almost knocking it off.

"What?!"

"Shhh. No need to shout, I'm here."

"What did you just say?" Tao asked after a deep breath.

"Kris. I kissed him. Once," Tao gaped. Yixing giggled, "Don't worry. It wasn't like that," he motioned for him to seat back down, and he followed shakily, "It was... A year ago? I think. We went to a party and got drunk. Really really drunk. I'd never gotten so drunk, and Kris told me to kiss him. To know what it was like. Didn't think about it and kissed him. He kissed me back but pulled away after a second. Said I was way too straight for him and that I tasted like cheap beer. Then he puked and passed out. That's all I remember. I don't think he remembers at all," he shot him a lopsided grin, "It was one of the most disturbing experiences of my whole life."

Tao stared down at the bar, trying to process everything. He felt himself getting increasingly angrier without a reason, and he hated it. It had been way before they'd even met, and Kris didn't remember it. Of course he'd had told him if he did, right?

A mumble to his left had him looking at Yixing's retreating back, arm wrapped around a girl's waist and murmuring to her neck as they went to the dance floor. Tao took another gulp from his drink. He'd need therapy to get over that night. 

Kris' laughter made him look around him, spotting his boyfriend approaching him on his own, Chanyeol nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Yeol?"

"Jongdae got him up and they left with some girls. He'll pass out soon though," he laughed again and Tao frowned. What would they do then?

And then Kris was wrapping his arms around him, too warm lips on his neck, and Tao couldn't help the shudder that ran through his body when he felt Kris' tongue on his skin.

"Let's go fuck somewhere," Kris suggested, nipping insistently at his ear and grinning when a groan left Tao's mouth.

"What the hell?! No! What are you talking about? Where would we even do that?!" he protested as he halfheartedly tried to pry his boyfriend's arms from around his waist, resolve crumbling when Kris began sucking a bruise just below his ear. He let an involuntary whine at the loss of heat when Kris got up, helping him to his feet before striding towards where Joonmyeon was still on his phone.

"Joon, we need the van keys," Kris stuck his hand in front of him expectantly.

"And why would that be?" Joonmyeon asked back with a raised eyebrow, eyes darting between the two of them.

"We want to fuck but Taozi won't do it here," Kris pouted, "The van is comfortable."

Joonmyeon gaped. 

Tao cursed under his breath, yanking Kris away from their friend before they could scar him any further.

"Are you fucking crazy?! We are not fucking in the van."

Kris tilted his head in confusion, "You wanna go to the bathroom? But it's gross in there. Smells like puke. And there are a lot of other couples... Not that that bothers me or anything but-" Tao slapped his hand over his mouth, dragging him out of the bar before anyone else could hear them.

Once outside he took a couple of deep breaths, letting the fresh air take away his annoyance.

"Come on. We'll go to the bathroom," his boyfriend insisted, turning to get back in before Tao stopped him, leveling him with a look.

"Kris! Yifan. No! We're not fucking in the bathroom, nor in the van. We're not fucking anywhere but our room for that matter!"

Kris blinked at his outburst, looking down at the floor with a pout, "But why not?"

"Just because and that's it!" he sighed, "We should look for the others and head home. Have you seen Jongin and Sehun?"

His boyfriend was still pouting, "I just want my Panda! Why don't you want me too?" he whined, and Tao could see his anger melt away. Because he was still an hormonal teenager with a hot boyfriend begging him for sex, and honestly, public sex didn't even sound like a bad idea. His common sense slapped him at the thought, bringing him back to a reality in which no, they were not having sex in a dirty bar bathroom. He blamed it on the alcohol.

"Kris... we can't do it here, you understand, right?"

"Fine. Then where?" he said with a small smile, taking both his hands on his and playing with his fingers.

"We'll do it at home. But only when we get there, okay?"

"Okay!" Kris grinned, grabbing him by the arm before making his way towards the road.

"What?! Where are we going?"

"Home. You said so yourself."

"No! Wait! We can't. We have to get the van with everybody, it's too far to walk!"

Kris scoffed, "No it's not. It's what, three, four miles? We can do that in our sleep," he pulled on Tao's arm to get him to move from where he'd stopped, arms crossed, "Besides, it'll take even longer to look for everybody else."

Tao found himself too shocked to answer, the idea growing on him as he let himself being pulled, linking their fingers as he followed Kris though the badly lit street to the main road. He blamed it on the alcohol. And his fucking hormones.

He sent a quick text to Joonmyeon to let him know they'd be walking back to the house, and wishing him good luck in carrying nine incredibly drunk guys back home.

Just like that the first two miles went by, Kris retelling the story of once he'd scored most of the points in what seemed to be a thrilling basketball game that Tao couldn't care less about. 

And then things started to go wrong.

They were just past the middle of the journey when Kris' steps became unbalanced, even more than before, and it wasn't long before he was leaning against a tree by the side of the road, emptying his stomach.

And that takes us back to the beginning. Tao cursed himself, Kris, his friends, and everything he could think about with every step uphill, Kris' whole weight on his side. The positive thing, though, was that now he could confidently add "can't hold his alcohol" to his list of things about Kris. But he'd have rather not known.

Tao could've cried in relief when they got to the house, searching for the spare key before dragging Kris towards their room and directly into the bathroom, where he attempted to clean him off, leaving him with just his boxers on and the single task of brushing his teeth.

"Taozi I'm gonna die. My head hurts. A lot," he whined as he trudged to the bed, throwing himself on it and sighing against the pillow.

"You shouldn't have drunk so much. If you're like this I don't even want to think about the others."

"Don't be a party popper my Panda. We're on holidays!" he giggled dumbly, clearly more conscious than before, but not quite there yet.

"Well, believe me when I say that carrying you up a fucking mountain for two miles isn't exactly my idea of fun," he replied as he approached the bed, throwing himself besides Kris.

"I'm sorry Taozi," his boyfriend pouted, lacing their fingers.

"Whatever," Tao scoffed before turning away and settling himself to sleep.

It wasn't even a moment later when he felt Kris' hand sneaking around his waist, tugging until he was facing him again, "Now, get your pretty little ass over here so we can get this started," he grinned.

Tao was moments away of killing the idiot, "Are you out of your fucking mind?! We're not doing anything. I mean look at yourself, you can't even move!"

Kris regarded him for a moment, lips pursed in concentration.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You didn't drink a lot, right Panda?" Tao looked at him suspiciously without really getting where he was going to, "What do you think about topping tonight, Taozi?"

Tao stared dumbfounded at his boyfriend as he raised his eyebrows suggestively, feeling blood pool in his face.

"W-what?" he winced at the squeak on his voice, swallowing before attempting again, "Me? Why?"

"You said so yourself. I'm too drunk to move. But you're not. So I'm asking if you wanna top for me tonight," Kris finished with a shrug.

"Okay that's it," Tao undid the bed and tried to tuck Kris in, "You're obviously not thinking clearly. We should sleep, Kris."

A hand on his wrist stopped him, making him look to where Kris was observing him quietly.

"We can't waste any second of this holidays, Taozi," he stared back, not knowing what to answer, "What's holding you back? You'd already said yes," Kris reasoned softly, hand stroking lazily up and down his arm. Tao couldn't really remember what was holding him back.

"It's not that I... don't want it. But..."

"You don't know how?" Kris questioned, a hint of a smirk on his tone.

Tao narrowed his eyes at him, suddenly more than a tiny bit ticked off at the implications "'I don't know how' what?"

"How to use your dick, maybe," Kris mused as he turned on his back, staring uninterestedly at the ceiling "I don't know."

Enough.

Tao was straddling him before he could even think about it, pinning his arms to his side on the bed, "Oh, don't worry. I'll show you that I can."

Kris chuckled, turning his face away from him. He reeked of alcohol, body heat radiating of him in waves, eyes a little bit wet. Tao was still not sure this was such a great idea. He wanted Kris to remember this in the morning, his first time topping ever, and by the looks of it he didn't think he would.

"Right," his boyfriend smiled, turning to face him and putting on an affected expression, "But be careful, Taozi. I haven't bottomed in the longest of times."

Kris smirked, all cocky and sexy and sure of himself and Tao wanted to wipe that smile off his face forever. He smashed his lips against his, nibbling at his lower lip before his tongue entered Kris' mouth, dragging a small whimper from the boy beneath him. The kiss was sloppy, uncoordinated and hurried, and Tao was already breathless when he began moving his hips, instinctively looking for friction. Kris whined loudly, rutting harder against him an eliciting a moan from Tao. He broke the kiss, yanking his shirt off before diving back in, incredibly thirsty and hot all over. 

And then his brain was screaming at him. Because yes, he actually didn't have a single fucking clue of what he was supposed to do. Not only had he never topped, but he'd never been interested in doing so either. And let's just say he wasn't really paying attention to Kris' technique when he was the one topping. Besides, he couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd been right about his lack of knowledge. But it was already too late to back up, if his squirming boyfriend was anything to go by. 

A tentative touch to his face made him stop, blinking down at where Kris was looking worn out.

"Hurry up Panda. I feel about to pass out," Kris rushed against his lips without stopping his hips' movement. Tao nodded before pecking him one last time. He did actually look about to pass out.

He lowered his hands, freeing Kris' member from where it was straining against his only piece of clothing, way too hard way too soon. Once again, Tao blamed it on the alcohol. He was never letting his boyfriend drink like that again.

Tao looked back at Kris, searching his face for any signs of regret, "Are you sure you wanna do this?" A frantic nod, "You probably won't remember this in the morning."

"I will. Don't worry about it," he smiled lazily. Bullshit. Kris would barely remember his name in the morning, "And if I don't we can always do this again another time."

Well. It may be actually for the best if Kris couldn't remember it. It was somewhat reassuring. He wouldn't have to worry if he didn't last long, or forgot how to put on his condom, or did something incredibly embarrassing as confessing his love in the middle of sex. 

He nodded before leaning back down, taking Kris' mouth for an easy kiss, trailing his lips down his neck and shoulders before kissing his chest, relishing the way his boyfriend was practically trembling already. He focused on a spot on his clavicle as he took his member in his hand, feeling the vibrations of Kris' loud groan on his lips. 

Tao jerked him off unhurriedly, dragging the most delicious sounds out of him, "You're really sensitive tonight, right Captain?" 

Kris buried his face on his pillow as Tao continued touching him until he seemed on the verge of coming. He stood from the bed before he could regret it, earning a whimper and dashing for the backpack where they'd left the lube and condoms the night before. Anxiety at what was to come ran through him, but he was now too hard to do anything about it.

Kris opened his legs easily for him to sit between them, and Tao could feel his eyes on him as he removed his pants, followed shortly by his boxers.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked once again, needing Kris' reassurance.

"Yeah."

"Okay, okay. Ready?" he opened the lube at the nod, covering his shaky fingers with the slippery substance and rubbing them to warm it up. Kris was already breathing hard, pearls of sweat glistening on his chest when his first finger circled around his entrance.

He leaned back up to press their lips together, keeping it soft and reassuring, "I really hope you remember this in the morning," he whispered against trembling lips.

Tao was slow to push in, careful not to hurt him more than strictly necessary when Kris whimpered in discomfort. He caressed his thigh, feather-like touches soft enough to distract Kris from the pain and relax. He seemed to be doing fine by the time Tao was knuckle-deep, so he introduced his second finger, this time with a little more resistance. Tao felt kind of overwhelmed, surrounded by the heat of Kris' body, being able to feel every reaction. He was still tense around him, though, so his spare hand went to his member, wrapping his fingers around it and tugging on it at the same maddeningly slow pace in which his fingers where fucking him until a pleasured moan left Kris' throat.

Tao scissored him consciously, sure he could take it by the time he introduced his third finger. It was only when Kris began pushing back against him that he considered him ready, removing his fingers and reaching for the condom before putting it on and covering his member with lube. He'd never wore a condom before, and wasn't really sure he liked the sensation. It'd probably feel way better without it, but he didn't think Kris would appreciate it if he filled him with come.

He kneeled back between his boyfriend's legs, who wrapped his legs around his waist as he placed his member in his entrance.

"Ready?"

It all happened to fast. Kris' legs tightened around him, pulling him forward until he was buried the whole way, a deep groan leaving his mouth as his arms shook to hold him still in their place on Kris' hips. He opened his eyes after the initial shock, Kris' mouth opened in a silent scream as tears gathered around his closed eyes. Shit. The pain wouldn't let him forget about this night for at least a couple of weeks.

Kris eventually opened his eyes too, smiling wobbly at the look of concern Tao must've been sporting.

"I'm fine Taozi," he panted, "I had always thought about how that would feel," he let out a chuckle.

He'd clearly lost his mind. Like, completely.

Kris took a deep breath before he began moving, forcing Tao in and out of him, slowly at first. Tao let out a moan, the whole new word of sensations being too much, but not enough at the same time.

His boyfriend was still looking pained, though, and Tao couldn't bear to look at it any longer. He wanted Kris to feel amazing, to feel as good as he always did when Kris was the one topping, when he tried his best to make Tao touch the stars every time he touched him. He didn't have a clue about what he was doing, but he had to try anyway. 

Finding Kris' prostate turned out to be harder than expected. At least, harder than what Kris had always made it look like. But Tao eventually did, maneuvering Kris' legs on his shoulders until his boyfriend screamed in pleasure. He thrusted into that spot as hard and as fast as he could, muscles already sore from exhaustion, and he gripped Kris' legs for leverage.

But Tao felt so... empty. It was an incredible sensation, being inside of Kris, surrounded by him. But he needed something inside him, inside his ass, more precisely, to feel completely amazing.

Kris' body tensed around him, every muscle contracting, pulsing with need. With one last groan of "Tao!" he came between them, tainting both their stomachs as he spasmed over and over again, Tao's eyes fixed on his body until he finished.

Tao looked back up at Kris' blissed out face, one of the most gorgeous things he'd ever seen, sated and content, a small smile pulling at his lips.

"You... You're amazing my Panda," he mumbled, eyes falling shut. 

He was already deep in sleep, and Tao smiled at his sleeping form, taking in his softened features. He wasn't sure if it was because of the intensity of his orgasm, his exhaustion or, as everything that night, the alcohol. But, despite everything, it had been a night to remember.

A/N: Hey guys! Today is actually this fic's first year anniversary!! It's been quite a hard year for everyone, but there were many good things about it too. It was our first time writing something aside homework, and the more we wrote the more we wanted to write more. We published several short stories, have many more to come. This one here is not near finished, and we still can't believe that what started out as a story for ourselves to get our minds off an incredibly boring gym class (we finished second out of three in a volleyball tournament and was our lives' achievement) ended up with more than twenty chapters. We're so grateful for you. Thank you so much for reading our stories, for commenting your thoughts and opinions, and for going into Pau's ask and our Tumblr. We hope to keep improving our writing and to get closer to all of you. Lots of love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it. That's the last chapter we wrote, exactly a year after publishing the first one. A lot had happened that year, both in EXO with Kris leaving, and in our personal lives, with our high school graduation and one of us moving countries. Still, if you got this far we hope you enjoyed our first fic, which now seems cringy and not that well done, but to our teenage selves it meant a lot, and took hours and hours of conversations, which are preserved for whenever we want to tease each other about the dumb things we were planning to write. See you soon!


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